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It Hurts When I Stop Talking
by: Walkinbird_connected (walkinbird@Writing.Com)

Hand-me Downs, Hand-me Ups
and Alzheimer’s In-between

Sometime in Fall of 1998, when a visit from Dad was infrequent, and primarily at the mercy of his 88 Toyota making the 50 mile journey, I was being treated to lunch. The restaurant was my choice, I think. Sisley Italian Kitchen at the Town Center mall was somewhere my dad had not yet tried, so that was my pick. Either I was being treated to the luxury of lunch and adult conversation without my husband and 5 year old son in tow, or that's just how the moment has lodged in my memory. The more I think about it, they probably were there, but enjoying the Italian food too much to bother interrupting.

Daddy and his lady friend at the time, Ann, came up together and made a day of it with me and the family. We were eating together and talking about some of my scripts, stories, coverages, poems and other creative attempts that really were not seeing the light of day. I think I'd just finished a group reading of The Artist's Way and was in a terribly frenetic mood over my writing. I think I'd just given them an entire rundown on a speculative Star Trek script.

My Dad asked me point blank, “Why don’t you write it?? Ann agreed. It sure sounded like I wanted to write it. Why wasn't I writing seriously? It's what I'd set out to do when earning my college degree in Broadcasting many years earlier.

Heck, I should, I agreed non-verbally.

“I will.”

But, I didn’t.

Blogs can be wild, unpredictable storehouses of moments, tangents, creative dervishes, if you will. I'm getting a firmer handle on my creative cycle. My mental compost heap (which is a catch phrase from Natalie Goldman or Julia Cameron - I can't think which, right now) finally seems to be allowing a fairly regular seepage of by-products. That may be a gross analogy, but I give myself credit to catigorize my work in raw terms. It proves that I'm not so much the procrastinating perfectionist that I once was.

Still, I always seem to need prompts and motivation. Being a self-starter is the next step. My attempt to keep up in the Write in Every Genre Contest at the beginning of the year seemed like a perfect point to launch the blog.

My Blog

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10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

439 Days 16 Hours ago, in response to "Waging boredom war"

Walkinbird_connected

said:

Dang. I contradict my status as 79% Geek by not being able to competently apply this link badge to my blog. Is that more of nerd thing?

462 Days 8 Hours ago, in response to "Realization spiritual or not"

Kåre Enga in Montana

said:

I volunteered time and money once. I did not keep track. One friend wanted me too. Another explained why I'd refuse. For me at that time keeping track = work and I didn't need more work. In the end, I did what I did for as long as I could and wanted to. I no longer do as I no longer live there and no longer know whether I am needed as they don't keep in touch. Guess we've all moved on; but I haven't changed much. In the future I'll volunteer to do what I can but keeping track will probably not be a part of the contract.

462 Days 8 Hours ago, in response to "Serene and Green"

Kåre Enga in Montana

said:

Does that mean green = serene? And are all the Irenes in agreement? Suburban development is not overly green as it tends to be wasteful and an upheaval to any and all creatures who call it home. Most are sent packing. I'm for tight urban areas that include pockets of green and corridors connecting to the surrounding rural green.

651 Days 9 Hours ago, in response to "New Car, "Smell"

Kåre Enga in Montana

said:

I lose things around here all the time. Use to lose things in the car. Face it, I'm just lost!

651 Days 9 Hours ago, in response to "Missing the word, Author"

Kåre Enga in Montana

said:

I'm chatty to strangers, but tongue-tied when I want to say something important/embarrassing/emotional ...

658 Days 23 Hours ago, in response to "The Best of Times"

Nada

said:

Oh great! Next year let me know, maybe we can meet for lunch, I'm not that far!

Interesting your thoughts on music lyrics and literature as Scarlett and I are doing a writing series based on songs! We use them to stimulate our imagination/memories.

Perhaps night classes could help you gather the momentum?

659 Days 15 Hours ago, in response to "Staple It Together"

Nada

said:

Nope, I don't think it is creepy. Blogging is a way to connect, and good ones can pull you in and make you feel.

I wanted to congratulate you on being invited back to Northridge...did you go? I often wonder what it would have been like to be a college student. Oh, I took some college classes, but as an adult. You're fortunate to be a graduate.

911 Days 22 Hours ago, in response to "Stranger Than Fiction"

Nada

said:

Glad to hear of something I want to see!

Thanks!

924 Days 15 Hours ago, in response to "Cathartic Day: Dreams Alive Again"

Walkinbird_connected

said:

Thank you, sweet voices of wisdom. So often I write into my blog as if I'm screaming into the void. Here too is the Divine.

924 Days 23 Hours ago, in response to "Cathartic Day: Dreams Alive Again"

Nada

said:

Tough times call for greater dreams. You go have time to make it come true!

#182. Really? Is this what's keeping me up at night?
---->> ID #689927 entered on 03-11-10 @ 10:55 am EST

#181. What if Heaven was...
---->> ID #689595 entered on 03-07-10 @ 5:20 pm EST

#180. Dissolved
---->> ID #689382 entered on 03-04-10 @ 10:30 pm EST

#179. First of the month
---->> ID #689032 entered on 03-01-10 @ 5:02 pm EST

#178. Internet experiment
---->> ID #688776 entered on 02-27-10 @ 2:13 am EST

#177. Life IS Fair
---->> ID #688731 entered on 02-26-10 @ 2:51 pm EST

#176. Having missed Extraordinary Measures
---->> ID #687541 entered on 02-14-10 @ 10:07 pm EST

#175. Calendaring up 2010
---->> ID #680491 entered on 12-20-09 @ 10:34 am EST

#174. After the Rain
---->> ID #679832 entered on 12-14-09 @ 10:17 am EST

#173. Even mind-clouds have a silver lining
---->> ID #664737 entered on 08-22-09 @ 1:56 pm EDT

#172. Banishing OK
---->> ID #662333 entered on 08-18-09 @ 2:32 pm EDT

#171. Cheater, Procrastinator, Hunter-Gatherer
---->> ID #662116 entered on 08-03-09 @ 11:00 pm EDT

#170. Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
---->> ID #651976 entered on 05-28-09 @ 2:13 am EDT

#169. So honored
---->> ID #648655 entered on 05-11-09 @ 2:15 am EDT

#168. Fire purification
---->> ID #648405 entered on 05-06-09 @ 2:11 am EDT

#167. Art Restoration
---->> ID #648203 entered on 05-04-09 @ 7:19 pm EDT

#166. God Yes!
---->> ID #648097 entered on 05-04-09 @ 2:22 am EDT

#165. Waging boredom war
---->> ID #628179 entered on 01-06-09 @ 6:10 pm EST

#164. Serene and Green
---->> ID #624335 entered on 12-15-08 @ 1:30 am EST

#163. Child psychology in the morning shower
---->> ID #622984 entered on 12-07-08 @ 12:36 pm EST

#162. Realization spiritual or not
---->> ID #620285 entered on 11-24-08 @ 10:01 am EST

#161. Week on the MTA buslines
---->> ID #612295 entered on 10-11-08 @ 1:39 am EDT

#160. Just a footnote in the Book of Life thankfully
---->> ID #611286 entered on 10-06-08 @ 2:09 am EDT

#159. A moment of advice
---->> ID #605965 entered on 09-08-08 @ 2:14 am EDT

#158. Just wishin
---->> ID #605513 entered on 09-05-08 @ 3:26 am EDT

#157. Community *of note
---->> ID #603793 entered on 08-26-08 @ 2:36 am EDT

#156. All the news fit to print
---->> ID #603503 entered on 08-24-08 @ 12:53 pm EDT

#155. Improve myself? Improve my space.
---->> ID #602313 entered on 08-16-08 @ 10:03 pm EDT

#154. Walkinbird_seeks Batcave
---->> ID #601842 entered on 08-13-08 @ 11:05 pm EDT

#153. Note to self
---->> ID #600651 entered on 08-07-08 @ 12:57 am EDT

#152. When speaking independently
---->> ID #600576 entered on 08-06-08 @ 3:08 pm EDT

#151. Stoke Votes
---->> ID #599637 entered on 08-01-08 @ 12:50 am EDT

#150. In vogue
---->> ID #596254 entered on 07-14-08 @ 12:55 am EDT

#149. Monkey Arm in a Bottle
---->> ID #595581 entered on 07-10-08 @ 1:31 am EDT

#148. Missing the word, Author
---->> ID #589799 entered on 06-09-08 @ 2:02 am EDT

#147. Missing the word, Author
---->> ID #589798 entered on 06-09-08 @ 1:51 am EDT

#146. New Car, "Smell
---->> ID #589545 entered on 06-07-08 @ 3:41 pm EDT

#145. Graduation Visioning
---->> ID #589315 entered on 06-06-08 @ 3:05 am EDT

#144. The Best of Times
---->> ID #588371 entered on 06-01-08 @ 12:26 pm EDT

#143. Staple It Together
---->> ID #588267 entered on 05-31-08 @ 7:13 pm EDT

#142. Sit up and take notice
---->> ID #583407 entered on 05-05-08 @ 11:25 am EDT

#141. Another Purrfect Film
---->> ID #580216 entered on 04-19-08 @ 4:41 am EDT

#140. Corporate Cog
---->> ID #578956 entered on 04-12-08 @ 1:57 am EDT

#139. Surfing a Way
---->> ID #574682 entered on 03-20-08 @ 2:50 am EDT

#138. You Are Never Alone
---->> ID #569844 entered on 02-25-08 @ 2:16 am EST

#137. In the Shadow of the Earth
---->> ID #569470 entered on 02-23-08 @ 5:03 am EST

#136. Is Time Flying?
---->> ID #569467 entered on 02-23-08 @ 4:52 am EST

#135. With God eyes
---->> ID #561709 entered on 01-18-08 @ 12:33 am EST

#134. Never Lose Heart
---->> ID #561321 entered on 01-16-08 @ 2:32 am EST

#133. Stop! Erase...Erase...Erase!
---->> ID #561101 entered on 01-15-08 @ 2:48 am EST

#132. Care of the Soul
---->> ID #540044 entered on 10-07-07 @ 12:03 am EDT

#131. Stranger Than Fiction
---->> ID #536838 entered on 09-22-07 @ 3:29 am EDT

#130. Cathartic Day: Dreams Alive Again
---->> ID #533903 entered on 09-09-07 @ 2:22 am EDT

#129. Beautiful Eclipse
---->> ID #531140 entered on 08-28-07 @ 6:16 am EDT

#128. Living the World a Better Place
---->> ID #530513 entered on 08-25-07 @ 1:05 am EDT

#127. Maintaining the Informed Electorate
---->> ID #526593 entered on 08-08-07 @ 2:48 am EDT

#126. Family Alchemy
---->> ID #526344 entered on 08-07-07 @ 1:27 am EDT

#125. L.A. Times article 8/5/07 on open adoption
---->> ID #526297 entered on 08-06-07 @ 9:51 pm EDT

#124. Pizza, Writing and Superhero 2 #2
---->> ID #525269 entered on 08-02-07 @ 12:18 am EDT

#123. Wikimaniac
---->> ID #525260 entered on 08-02-07 @ 12:07 am EDT

#122. Wake up call
---->> ID #524483 entered on 07-29-07 @ 11:14 pm EDT

#121. J.G. Bird my Altered Ego
---->> ID #523995 entered on 07-27-07 @ 3:12 am EDT

#120. Better than Blog that Knows Nothing
---->> ID #520876 entered on 07-12-07 @ 11:58 pm EDT

#119. Not wanting to gather dust bunnies
---->> ID #520665 entered on 07-11-07 @ 11:59 pm EDT

#118. July Temperatures
---->> ID #519743 entered on 07-07-07 @ 11:57 pm EDT

#117. Another bogus entry
---->> ID #518688 entered on 07-02-07 @ 11:58 pm EDT

#116. How I Poured Over Star Wars
---->> ID #518308 entered on 07-01-07 @ 2:42 am EDT

#115. It's a pattern
---->> ID #518138 entered on 06-29-07 @ 11:58 pm EDT

#114. Why, Why, Why
---->> ID #517990 entered on 06-28-07 @ 11:58 pm EDT

#113. Blip
---->> ID #517806 entered on 06-28-07 @ 12:06 am EDT

#112. Speaking From My Big Toe
---->> ID #517549 entered on 06-28-07 @ 12:09 am EDT

#111. Manic Monday...Whoa...Whoa
---->> ID #517417 entered on 06-25-07 @ 11:58 pm EDT

#110. The world which we all share
---->> ID #516997 entered on 06-24-07 @ 1:02 am EDT

#109. How Friends Persevere
---->> ID #516860 entered on 06-23-07 @ 3:18 am EDT

#108. Yes, but am I my husband's keeper?
---->> ID #516675 entered on 06-22-07 @ 2:59 am EDT

#107. Blam
---->> ID #516648 entered on 06-22-07 @ 2:41 am EDT

#106. Obsessive entry
---->> ID #516407 entered on 06-20-07 @ 11:58 pm EDT

#105. How a Day Dissolves
---->> ID #516172 entered on 06-19-07 @ 7:04 pm EDT

#104. Asking Questions
---->> ID #515810 entered on 06-18-07 @ 1:26 am EDT

#103. Babel Me Babylon
---->> ID #515666 entered on 06-17-07 @ 4:49 am EDT

#102. Still Myself
---->> ID #515484 entered on 06-16-07 @ 1:51 am EDT

#101. Perservering Friendship
---->> ID #515314 entered on 06-15-07 @ 12:20 am EDT

#100. I am Emerson
---->> ID #515123 entered on 06-14-07 @ 12:15 am EDT

#99. Seeing song titles
---->> ID #514891 entered on 06-13-07 @ 2:26 am EDT

#98. Self-Reliance, No Big Deal
---->> ID #514313 entered on 06-10-07 @ 10:07 pm EDT

#97. The Fountain
---->> ID #510427 entered on 05-23-07 @ 2:45 am EDT

#96. Dr. Stephen T. Colbert
---->> ID #510181 entered on 05-22-07 @ 1:54 am EDT

#95. Therapy Schmerapy
---->> ID #506820 entered on 05-07-07 @ 9:57 pm EDT

#94. Baby steps
---->> ID #504653 entered on 04-28-07 @ 1:27 am EDT

#93. How the Piles Do Overtake
---->> ID #492551 entered on 03-05-07 @ 1:12 am EST

#92. Josh Groban Comes Into His Own
---->> ID #491673 entered on 03-02-07 @ 1:55 am EST

#91. Common for those 40 years and older
---->> ID #489721 entered on 02-21-07 @ 11:39 pm EST

#90. Mind Travel
---->> ID #487969 entered on 02-14-07 @ 2:56 am EST

#89. The Man Who Never Gives Up
---->> ID #487342 entered on 02-11-07 @ 11:00 pm EST

#88. The Joy of Reading and Puzzling
---->> ID #483670 entered on 01-25-07 @ 11:00 pm EST

#87. Times to Remember
---->> ID #483039 entered on 01-22-07 @ 10:34 pm EST

#86. A family goal
---->> ID #482029 entered on 01-17-07 @ 5:42 pm EST

#85. Every 2 weeks Not so much to ask
---->> ID #481427 entered on 01-15-07 @ 12:27 am EST

#84. Gimme a Gold Star!
---->> ID #478396 entered on 01-01-07 @ 10:30 pm EST

#83. Company policy
---->> ID #475263 entered on 12-15-06 @ 10:13 am EST

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