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| >> Campfire Creative >> Short Story >> Animal >> ID #1486497 |   |
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| [Introduction]
This is a little Short story about Bill Brandy's half brother Bob Buttz. If you remember in Fur in Space, Bob was mutated into a half-catfish by hostle aliens not because he joined the Manimal team. Ever since he has hated the fact that he is a big slimy bottom feeder, not something noble and powerful like Bill's bull or lovely and adorable like Jim's squirrel. Unfortunetly he can't have his animal DNA removed because that would kill him Well one day after Christmas someone approaches him with an offer, claiming he can seperate the animal from the human with an anchient ritual. Bob agrees to it but he quickly learns he got more than he bargained for... |
 Twiga  One day after Christmas, Matoaka noticed Bob looking dejected."What's the matter Bob?" Matoaka asked "I feel so sad." Bob responded "Because I'm an ugly scum-sucking bottom feeder." "You feel bad about what you are." Matoaka said sadly "I mean think about it!" Bob exclaimed "Bill is a powerfull Bull, Jim is an adorable squirrel, Nobody thinks catfish are pretty or noble and...and" "Look on the bright side." Matoaka said "You can breathe underwater." "There are lots of things that breathe underwater." Bob said sullanly "I'm one of the worst." "No animal is better than any other and no animal is worse than any other." Matoaka said firmly "Yeah I guess so," And with that Bob walked out of HQ Steve Ellen It was nice of Matoaka to tell him no animal was better than any other but Bob new differently. Was a lion not better than a mouse? Was an eagle not better than a buzzard? It was absurd to say no animal was better than any other. And here Bob was stuck being a catfish just because of some stupid alien intervention. It just wasn't fair! He decided to stop in at Sammy's Sandwich Shop and eat a meatball sub. That always cheered him up when he was feeling low. The place wasn't crowded and Sammy himself was making the subs. "The usual, Bob?" "Yeah, but with mustard on it this time. say, Sammy, do you ever feel that life is not fair?" "All the time, bro. I could have had a chain of Sammy's Sandwich Shops by now if it wasn't for..." Bob tuned him out. He only wanted to hear agreement, not a rant. The meatball sub looked good. Now... should he have a Coke, a Dr Pepper, or a Mountain Dew with it? Twiga He decided to get a Diet Coke. As he began to tuck into his 'kosher' meatball sub. Someone approched him."G'day Little Bloke!" Bob's eyes widened when he saw the man who said that The man looked like Steve Irwim only with a goatee! "Who are you the crocodile hunter?" Bob asked "I thought that guy was dead!" "Nah Mate. I'm his long lost twin brother Stan Irwin!" "Never heard of him." Bob said sipping his coke. "I hear you have a little problom." Stan said "I can handle it myself." Bob said "You don't like being a catfish..." Stan continued "Who told you!?" Bob hissed "Mate, you barely conceil your animal natures." Stan said flatly "Good things the world's full of idiots or everyone would no who you are." Bob was speechless after that "I know how to make you a normal human again." Said the Austrailian "You just stand in a white circle I play the didjeridoo and viola! You're fish half and man-half are seperate!" "Tell me more..." Bob said Steve Ellen "There is no more," Stan Irwin said. "That's all there is to it." "There's more to it than that," Bob said. "Like how the heck do you happen to know how to make a fish boy into a normal boy?" "Aw, there's no mystery to that, mate. You see, my best friend used to be a fish boy. His name was Barry. We used to call him Barry Cuda. He used to shrpen our pencils for us by gnawing them with his teeth. He had sharp teeth. But other than the fact it made him the top scorer on the swim team, he didn't like being a fish boy." "I'm not on my school's swim team," Bob said. "Catfish can't swim very fast." "That's too bad. Do catfish have any special skills?" "If they do I haven't discovered it yet." "That's unfortunate," Stan said. "Anyway, my friend Barry didn't want to be a fish boy and one day he heard that the aborigines had a method for dealing with it." "What's the aborigines?" "They're the native Australians, like the American indians. Aborigines inhabited Australia before the wite man came. They're very mystical." Bob scratched his chin. "So it's the aborigines that have a method for turning fish boys into men?" "Yeah... and I know what it is. Want to try it?" Twiga So they headed off the a deep dark alley.Stan drew a white circle on the ground with chalk. Than he got out his didjeridoo. He began to play a mystical tune. With that a great mystical snake began rising out of the smog! Bob looked at the snake and was afraid, but he held his ground. The snake zipped in and bit him! The bite didn't really hurt but it still scared the jeebies out of him! Than he felt a strange feeling inside him, he clutched his heart as it began to beat faster. Than he felt himself divieding like an amoeba only he was divieding into two different animals! His fish side landed in a bucket full of water that Stan had left out for this moment. "How you feel?" Stan asked when it was done "Perfectly normal." Bob replied "Would you like to replace your old animal DNA with something more exiting?" Stan inquired innocently "Like a cougar? Or a gorilla?" "Hecks no!" Bob replied "I'm through with all this animal junk! I just want to be a normal boy!" "Very well." Steve said "Mind if I take your fish-half to live in the duck pond at my zoo?" "Heck!" Bob said laughing "You can fry it up and serve it with lemon for all I care." Bob didn't know that half his soul was in that fish and that if the fish died HE would die! Twiga Stan Irwin than went to his zoo in Center Park and dumped the fish in his duck pond.Bob headed to HQ to tell everyone the good news. "Where have you been?" Matoaka demanded "You're an hour late! You should be doing you're exersises!" Bob smiled "I don't have to anymore because I'm not a manimal anymore!" "What do you mean by that?" Matoaka asked Bob told her the whole story about how he got his fish half and his human half seperate After he told his story Matoaka slapped him "Ow! What was that for?" Bob asked "You're a fool!" She told him "Don't you know even though you're seperate bodies you're still one entity? If that fish dies you die!" Bob looked confused for a second than he started looking worried than he screamed "AAAAHHH! I"M GONNA DIE I"M GONNA DIE!" Steve Ellen Matoaka slapped him again. "Ow!" Bob said. "Shut up with your hysterics and get busy. You have to go find that Stan Irwin guy and get your fish back. Understand?" "Yeah." Bob rubbed his red cheek. "Now!" Matoaka said. "Go do it!" Twiga Bob headed for the Center Zoo, where he serched all over for the Duck Pond!"Oh MAN!" Bob exclaimed "I wish I wasen't so stupid!" Finally he came across the pond, there he saw a big blue fish stareing up at him from the water. Bob attempted to reach down and grab for it when he heard a thick British accent..."Oy! You can't take the animals! If you want something to eat I can fix you something for five bucks!" "Geez!" Bob thought "I better come at night!" So he left the zoo and waited for night to fall, Meanwhile Minsk and Edward were discussing their future "Edward." Minsk said "You are aware that the child will be born in Mink shape right?" "I was vauguely aware of it." Edward said "It may be possible that the stress of childbirth will cuase me to transform to my Manimal shape." She added Edward rubbed his arm uncomfortably "You don't happen to know any blind midwives do you?" Minsk shook her head "I thought not." Edward sighed "The Doctor who delevered my first child, The one who didn't live, Was a young man named Vladmir Chalk." She blushed "Even while I was pregnant I still worked as a prostitute to feed my family, Dr Chalk would give me check ups for free if I..." "If you what?" Edward asked "If I slept with him." Minsk blushed "What kind of Doctor sleeps with his patiants?!" Steve Ellen "He is a good doctor," Minsk said."I don't want you to see him," Edward said. "We'll find another doctor." "But how will we pay him?" "You leave that to me." "Edward! No! I don't want you stealing things again." "Don't worry. I'll get the money lawfully. I'll work. There are jobs I can do." "Like what?" "I could get a job. Novellist" Minsk shook her head. "I can't wait for monthes for you to overcome your writer's block." Edward chuckled. "What's your idea of a good job for me?" Twiga "There is a local magazine." Minsk said "It's called Vodka. It needs a new editor.""So you want me to get a job at this magazine company?" Edward asked "Well I'll see what I can do." Meanwhile Bob was trying to break into the zoo but his fat little body coulden't get over the wall! "Oh Gawd!" Bob panted "I should really cut back on the Pudding Pops!" Finally he tumbled over the wall and landed in an exibat. "Finally!" He puffed But sudenly a bunch of monkeys attacked him! "AAAHHH!" Bob screamed! He found his way out of the monkey house but wasen't sure which way to go to find the duck pond. Bob wandered around completly lost when suddenly, a humongous gorilla was stareing him in the eyes " OH $&*@!" Bob screeched The gorilla thought he was a toy and started tossing him up in the air! The Ape Keeper came by with his flashlight "What's all this than?" he asked Next thing Bob knew he was being driven back to his mother's apartment "Yes, ma'am. We found your son in the Ape house." "I'm terribly sorry." Said Ms. Buttz "Bob is normaly such a well behaved boy, Would you like a cup of joe?" "I don't drink caffine." Said the zookeeper "How about some vitamen water?" Ms Buttz pressed "No, I'm fine." "Breakfast at Tiffany's?" "Are you flirting with me?" Bob went strait to his room and collapsed in a fit of tears "My soul," He weeped "My poor soul!" Steve Ellen Bob cried for several minutes then he had a thought. Why not just go to the zoo in the daytime? The gates would be open. He would just walk right in, snatch his fish, and go home. I better wear a disguise, he thought, in case that Australian character saw him. Bob searched through his closet for something to wear that would be a good disguise. Twiga Bob looked for a sutible costume, He could dress like Scarecrow but this was Gotham City and dressing like a rougue would get you shot on sight.Bob looked for a costume, Maybe a Homsar costumes? So he put on a blue shirt that read 'homsar' a yellow bowler hat and red shoes When he came to the zoo he saw the gorilla waving to him he shuddered in disgust. Steve Ellen Bob raised his fist at the gorilla. "AaAaAaAa! Don't wave at me like that!" The gorilla looked like he was about to get angry, then shrugged and went back to pounding the crap out of a tire swing. Bob carefully edged his way toward the duckpond, trying very hard to look like an innocent tourist. He even bought a balloon and a wad of cotton candy. But under his voluminous blue shirt he had concealed a net and a plastic bag big enough to hold his fish. Twiga Meanwhile the catfish (We'll call him Bobfish) Was trying to make friends with the other fish. But it wasen't working out very well."Hey Guys." Bobfish said "What do you guys do for fun around here?" "We swim around." Said a bule fish "And eat." Said a red fish "And make little fish." Said a green fish "Oh... That's cool." Bobfish said "Um.... What do you guys eat around here?" "Mostly worms." Said a Koi "Ick! Worms!" Bobfish exclaimed "Don't you have any real food? Like pizza? Or burgars?" The other fish gasped in shock! "Oh Mister Fancy Fins Eh?" "He wants to eat human food!" Steve Ellen Bobfish blushed. "Is that so awful? I used to be human, you know?" The other fish laughed. "He thinks he was human! Hahahaha! What happened? Did your Fairy Godmother get mad at you and turn you into a fish? Hahahaha!" "No!" Bobfish said. "It wasn't like that!" "Aw, save your fantasies for your psychiatrist," a Koi said. "Or maybe a beautiful princess will kiss you on the lips and turn you back into a human. Hahahaha!" Bobfish swam off by himself and hid in the water weeds so he couldn't hear the mocking laughter.. Stupid fish. What did they know? A tear would have been in Bobfish's eye if he wasn't already immersed in water. Do fish cry, he wondered. If he was back on land the tears would be rolling down his cheeks. At that moment, Bob the human was standing at the edge of the duckpond, staring into the water, trying to see through the reflections on the surface, trying to locate the lost half of his soul that was now a fish. He didn't see Bobfish anywhere. There were plenty of fish - red, gold, blue, brown - but no Bobfish. Bob sat down on a bench by the edge of the pond. What to do, what to do... Twiga Matoaka came by and sat down beside him. "Having trouble finding him?""Ah!" Bob jumped "Matoaka! How'd you get here?" "Hey this is one the places I get animal DNA for my experiments." She said "Sorry I snapped at you yesterday but you must relize when you become a Manimal it's for life." Bob looked sadly into the water. "I know a charm that will attract Bobfish back to us. All I need is a bottle of beer and a reed." Matoaka plucked a reed from the water "Now we need to fill this with beer." Steve Ellen "I don't think they sell beer at the zoo," Bob said. He looked up after a moment and saw Matoaka looking at him. "Oh! Right. I'll go buy a bottle of beer. I'll be right back." Thirty minutes later Matoaka was carefully taping one end of the reed to the open bottle of beer. "Now watch what happens when I put the other end of the reed in the water..." Twiga She carefully put the other end of the reed in the water.All at once the water started to bubble and brew. The fish were flopping around in the water. "Are the fish getting drunk?" Bob asked Just than Bobfish flopped out of the water! "Catch it quick!" Matoaka said Bob quickly snatched up the catfish and put him in the plastic bag full of water. "Quickly!" Matoaka said "We better leave before the keepers notice us!" Afterwards they found themselves back at Bob's apartment. "Now we just have to let the animal work its way into your body." Bob took the fish out out of the bag, Suddenly the fish jumped out of his hands and jumped into his body! "Strange." Bob said "It feels so pleasant." His scales grew, his fingers grew claws, once again his was a Manimal and he was Happy. ...........................SCIENCE FICTION! DOUBLE FEATURE............. (Beacuase this was a short story I'm going to continue it with siomething completly differnt) Second Story:Viva Pinata! Bill was staying at Matoaka's house one Halloween night he was eating all the spare candy she had lying around Milky Way, and Snickers, Twix and Hershy's bar "You shoulden't eat so much candy." Matoaka scolded "You'll suffer from indigestion and nightmares!" "I'm a big guy." Bill shrugged "I need a lot of food." "Be carful with all that chocolate." Zander said taking down a pinata nobody used "You never know what might happen." Bill snorted and lay down for a nap. When he opened his eyes he felt funny He rubbed his nose when he discovered it was made of paper! He jumped up to discover he was in Bull form and what's more he was made of Paper Machee! "I'm a pinata!" He screamed He tried to turn himself back into a human but no matter what nerve he touched he remained a bull He ran outside in panic only to discover THE WORLD was made of CANDY! The grass was licorice, the flowers were chocoloate, the trees were covered with toffe apples and the river was full of honey! "WTF?!" Steve Ellen Bill noticed someone fishing in the honey river. It was a Gingerbread Man. Bill sat down beside him. "What's it all about?" Bill said. "Shhh!" the Gingerbread Man said. "You'll scare the fish." "Forget the fish. I'm freaking out. Is this a dream or what?" "It's what," the G-Man said. "What?" "You said is it a dream or what. Well it's not a dream so it must be a what." Bill stared at the G-Man. "You don't have a brain, do you?" "Nope. Just a lot of molasses-flavored dough in my head with brown sugar and ginger and.." But Bill had already stood up and walked away. Twiga Just than a bunch of crazy looking kids with baseball bats came raceing down the street"Look there he is!" Shouted one kid "It's the pinata!" Yelled another Bill was well aware they indended to crack him open so he ran away as fast as he could! Unfortunetly, Pinatas can't move very fast no matter how much Bill's paper machte legs moved. Finally Bill did the smart (or not so smart) thing, and climbed a tree. He climbed all the way to the highest branch, He noticed that growing along side him were dozens of caramel apples. Bill coulden't help himself and began to nibble on one, licking on the caramel before sinking his teeth into the green apple flesh. Just than the branch beneith him cracked and he landed safly on the other side of the gingerbread fence (He thanked his lucky stars he haden't broken) "Bill?" That was Ichabod's voice "Ichy?" Bill said "Bill what happened to you? You look awful!" "I've been turned into a pinata!" Bill almost screamed "And the world's been turned to candy!" Bill picked up a handful of grass "Look! It's not grass! It's licorice! Taste it!" "I don't eat candy." Ichabod said "Are you sure you're human?" Bill asked skepticly "Very sure." "Whatever I don't have time for this, Theres a bunch of little kids with bats who want to crack me open!" "Why would they bother with a pinata when they could just eat the scenery?" Ichy asked Steve Ellen "Because they're crazy kids," Bill said. "Did they escape from an asylum?" "I don't know where they came from, Ichy! I don't eeven know why I am here! And why are you here? What's going on?" Ichabod pulled out a pipe and put it in his mouth. He looked very wise. "Settle down, son. Things are never as bad as they seem." A woman's voice called from the distance, "Ichabod? Ichabod Crane! You get home right now!" "Oops!," Ichy said. "Gotta go now!" "Can I come with you?" "Sure!" Ichy said, but he was hurrying away. Bill tried to follow but he was too slow to keep up. After Ichy was out of sight Bill just kept trudging in that direction hoping to see Ichy again. Instead he came to the edge of a huge chasm that seemed to stretch for miles across the earth. "Now what?" he thought. From above a voice drifted down. "Do you need a lift?" It was a young girl in a hot air balloon floating over his head. The balloon drifted down to the ground. "Hello!" the girl said. "My name is Frenetta. What's yours?" "Bill," he said. The girl didn't seem very old. She was wearing blue overalls like a boy might wear with no shirt or shoes. "Get in my balloon," Frenetta said. "I'll take you to the other side." Bill stepped in and the balloon shot up into the air. Bill looked over the side. "Do we need to go so high?" When there was no answer he looked around and found that he was now alone in the balloon. Twiga Bill paniced. Looking all around for the girl, suddenly he tumbled out of the baloon!Right below him were the insane little kids all clamoring for candy! Swinging their bats in anticipation! "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Bill screamed! Suddenly he saw a willow tree beneith him he attepted to grab one of the fines but suddenly the vine became a rope! It wound itself around his middle and began lowering him towards the kids... Than Bill woke up. He found himself in Matoaka's living room again "Did you have a bad dream?" Matoaka asked slyly "Two dozen cady bars will do that to you everytime." Bill said nothing but lay back onto his pillow looking at the ceiling "Oh wow man..." The End! © Copyright 2008 Twiga, Steve Ellen, (known as GROUP). All rights reserved. GROUP has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work. |
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