~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Terese made two cups of tea with honey; neither touched their cup. Delilah’s hands were underneath her lap as she blew on her untouched cup of tea. Her eyes were red and pools of black resided underneath her eyelids.

“Today, my daughter, Marie called me from the university. She said that organic chemistry was frustrating her to no end. I told her she just needed to calm down, and then study more; but she couldn’t stop venting…”

“Terese?” Delilah’s small voice interrupted.

“Yep, Hun?”

“Can we just sit,” Delilah peeked above her cup of tea, “without talking?”

“Sure.”

The kitchen timer was set for thirty-four minutes, enough time to cook the lemon chicken residing within it. Throughout the room, little plates lined the walls each different from the next. The tile floor created a glare against Delilah’s view.

She spoke quietly, “He noticed me.” Delilah smiled. “He saw me. I was in math class; I got a 100 on my geometry test, and he saw me. I’ve never been looked at like that before."

Delilah sighed, “We had like a secret relationship. I always blamed it on myself because I could never talk to anyone without stuttering. But I could talk to Ian.”

“We always had fun, but we took it too far. I was really uncomfortable about it, but Ian just coaxed me into it, just like he did with everything we did.." Delilah glanced up for confirmation to decrease her embarrassment.

Terese nodded her head.

"I stopped talking to him this past summer; I was scared. When school started I was starting to show, and he completely ignored me, along with the rest of my classmates.

"I've never been noticed before. I thought, maybe, I would finally be noticed as Ian's girlfriend. But instead I'm the pregnant girl." Delilah's eyes became dark, "I just wish I stayed quiet, failed that test, or just said no..." Delilah quietly started to cry.

"Now Ian wants to get back together?" Terese finally spoke up .

"Yeah, but I'm not sure that I want to." Delilah rubbed her shirt against her nose. "I like him, but he's not really a great guy. Is he?

Terese shrugged.

"I want him back, but I feel like there has to be rules. I don't know. I give up! This is too much for me. I'm only sixteen!"

"My dear. You're fine." Terese cooed as she scooted her chair closer to Delilah's. "At age sixteen, I felt the same way you did. I just wanted life to be over." Terese took her hand and ran it through Delilah's hair. "But you're capable of everything you have been handed."

"How do you know that?" Delilah's eyes became wide, "How can you be so sure?! I could die in like...childbirth! My baby could have a disease and no one will want her."

"If your baby had a disease, we would know already." Terese smiled.

"That's not true! She c-co-ould have it later, but then the parents decide they don't want her any-more. Then my b-b-baby will be ho-homeless." Delilah took in a deep breath.

"Delilah," Terese warned, "calm down."

"But what if it's not ok-kay?" Delilah looked into her mentor's mature eyes. "What if nothing goes back-k the way it was?"

Terese frowned, "Delilah, some things are going to change. You can't be afraid of that."

"I feel like you are avoiding my question." Delilah put her hands to her face.

"Sweetheart, if you want me to say that you're going to have a perfect life from this moment on, I can't. I cannot predict the future. All I can say with an honest answer is to trust in the Lord. God has a plan for you. And believe it or not, this is part of his plan."

Delilah sniffed, "I don't feel any better."

"What if I told you that God knows the desires of your heart? He knows exactly what will satisfy you, what will make you happy. God knows all that."

"Does that mean that everything will be fine?"

"Yes. According to his plan."

"Terese!" The frustration was clear in Delilah's eyes.

"I know, dear. One day you'll understand."

blainecindy - I love my WDC!    After Delilah told Terese the story of her meeting with Ian, Terese felt sympathy for the girl invade her body. She wanted to put her arms around her and keep her from harm. Terese was even more upset at the fact that Delilah had fainted.

Terese blew on her tea as she looked at Delilah's face. She wished she could erase the black circles under her eyes and make her big brown eyes brown again without the red that was presently coloring them.

Poor Delilah; she has been through the wringer over the last eight months. First, her father shows no understanding of her feelings about her unborn child, and now this. . this. . . Ian. . . only the word jerk can accurately describe him. He just automatically assumed that Delilah would “get rid” of the baby; anything to suit his convenience. Jerks like him are so heartless, so thoughtless, so inconsiderate, so . . so. . unbelievable, that is for sure! Yes, he is just a heartless jerk!. . .What she really wanted to do was punch him in the face. Terese took a deep breath. It took all of Terese's self-control not to tell Delilah what she was truly feeling.

Before Terese could even finish her thoughts, she heard Delilah gasp.

“What’s wrong Delilah?”

“I’m not sure, but I have this sticky stuff running down my leg.”.

Terese grinned.

"Oh dear. Let’s see, Delilah.”

Terese examined her leg as Delilah rolled up her pants leg and showed her, and then Terese immediately knew what was happening.

“Delilah, your water broke!" Terese grinned.

“Oh my gosh! You're kidding!" Delilah's big brown eyes appeared bigger than normal. “It’s really going to happen? But it’s not supposed to happen for another month!”

“Well,“ Terese smiled at her, “Babies pretty much come when they’re ready, and your dates might have been off a bit, but your water has definitely broken. Have you noticed any pain at all?”

“Well. . . my back has been sort of hurting, but I thought maybe I had slept wrong or something like that.”

Delilah had a look of surprise and disbelief on her face, and Terese thought she detected even a look of fright.

“That sounds like back labor, Delilah. Remember they told us about that at the Lamaze classes? Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be okay, Delilah, and I’ll be right there with you. First, I think I should call your mom. I’ll ask your mom to pack a bag for you and she can bring it with her when she comes to the hospital; and then I think we should go to the hospital, okay?”

“O. . o. . okay,” stuttered Delilah.

“Okay, Delilah, just try to relax while I call your mom.”

Terese hurried back into the kitchen to phone Mrs. Royan. She decided to use the kitchen phone so that Delilah would not hear the conversation; she didn’t want to upset Delilah any more than she already was. She gave Mrs. Royan the details, asked her to pack a bag and bring it to the hospital when she came. Mrs. Royan sounded very nervous and excited and said she would be there as soon as she could. Then Terese wrote a quick note to her husband, telling him she would call him again as soon as she was able. He had left twenty minutes earlier to pick up the ice cream for dessert. Who knew how long she would be gone from home? After all, she was Delilah’s labor coach and since it was Delilah’s first baby, she knew the labor could take a long time. She turned off the oven and took the lemon chicken out, laying it on top of a potholder on the formica counter.

She hurried into the living room and found Delilah lying on the sofa. She had her knees up and was moaning softly.

Terese rummaged through her handbag and found her set of car keys. She waited for Delilah to stop moaning and then tried to sound as cheerful as she could.

“Okay, Delilah. Are you ready?”

Delilah looked at her with fear in her eyes.

“I don’t know Terese. . I’m really s. sc. .scared,” Delilah said, quivering.

“I know, Delilah, but really it’s going to be okay. By this time tomorrow, it'll be all over. So let’s go to the hospital, okay?”

“O. . o. . ok. .kay,” Delilah stammered out.

Terese helped Delilah up and when they were halfway to the door, Delilah doubled over, moaning a little bit louder this time.

"Oh my gosh, T. .Ter. Te. .Terese! I don't think I c. . c. can d. d. do this. It hurts so bad!"

Terese could tell Delilah was about to cry.

"Delilah, of course you can do this. You are one of the bravest people I know.

"R . .r. .really? Y. y. you won't l. .leave me?"

Terese helped Delilah straighten up, put her hands on her shoulders and looked her square in the eyes.

"Delilah, I promise. I will not leave you!"

Delilah looked at her and wiped the tears from her eyes which were threatening to spill over and form little rivulets down her cheeks.

"Okay, then, if you p. .p. pro. .mise."

Delilah sniffled, took Terese's hands, and squeezed them.

"Okay, Delilah, let's go!"

Terese let Delilah go through the front door first, then she locked the door. Terese was grateful they made it to the car before Delilah had another contraction. Terese helped Delilah lie down in the back seat. Terese had grabbed one of the living room pillows for Delilah to rest her head on.

Delilah had another contraction and was moaning softly in the back seat as Terese turned the key in the ignition and started the car. As Terese backed out of the driveway, she couldn't help but feel that she had her work cut out for her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They arrived at the hospital and halfway from the parking ramp to the hospital door, Delilah again doubled over and was moaning as the contraction ran through her body. After a minute or so Delilah straightened up again and they were able to make it to the front desk in the admitting department.

The nurse at the front desk called for a wheelchair and a nursing aide and before long Delilah was sitting in the wheelchair and shortly after they arrived at the Labor and Delivery Department. During one session of Lamaze classes they had taken a tour of the department and had filled out all the necessary paperwork then. Terese was grateful they didn't have to fill out all the paperwork now.

When Delilah was admitted to the Labor and Delivery Department, there had been a whirlwind of activity. Delilah changed into a gown, they had put the fetal monitor on her, taken her blood pressure, and the nurses had done everything else which is done for any woman in labor. The nurses had been especially sweet to Delilah, probably considering her young and tender age. Then Delilah had been distracted and seemed to handle things fairly well.

That had been nine hours ago, and now Delilah's labor had stalled. She was not progressing as she should. The nurse had started an IV, and had mentioned that the doctor might order an IV drip of pitocin, to speed up the labor process.

As the nurse left the room, Dr. Enroth entered. Dr. Enroth was Delilah's doctor.She was a petite woman with horn-rimmed glasses, and wore a pair of pink scrubs covered by a white knee-length lab coat. Her curly red hair was pinned to the back of her head in a bun. Her hair was so thick, and it seemed as though her strands of hair were trying desperately to escape the hair pins which kept them in place because they seemed to keep popping out here and there.

"Okay, Delilah," she said cheerfully, "Let's have a look and see how far along you are."

She pulled on a pair of latex gloves and reached under the sheets to check Delilah.

"Just as I thought, my dear," she said as she pulled the gloves off her hands.

"Unfortunately, you are not progressing. We're going to have to start running pitocin through your IV. The pitocin will make the uterus contract again, and we'll be in business. I suspect once your contractions begin again, it won't be long before your baby is born. I'll be back to check on you, okay?'

She smiled at Delilah and patted her on the shoulder as she left the room.

"Terese?"

"Yes, Delilah?"

"Where's my mom?"

"While the nurse was starting your IV she stepped out to call your father."

"Oh. . I wonder if Daddy is coming."

"Well, I don't know, Delilah. Your mom didn't say anything to me about it."

"Yeah. . ." Delilah's voice trailed off. All of a sudden she was very quiet.

Terese looked at her and could see the toll the last nine hours had taken upon her young friend. Her hair was a mess from the sweating and tossing and turning she had done during the contractions. She seemed even paler than usual and her lips were dry and cracked.

"Would you like some more ice chips?" Terese offered.

"Yes. .that would be great, thanks."

"It looks like you're all out. I'll go to the nurses' station and ask for some more." Terese picked up Delilah's plastic container and started for the door.

"I'll be right back," she called over her shoulder.

As she opened the door, Mr. and Mrs. Royan were about to enter.

"Hello, Terese," Mr. Royan greeted her with a nod.

"Hello, Mr. Royan."

"Thank you for taking such good care of our daughter. We appreciate all you've done for her."

"It's been my pleasure. I'll be right back, Delilah."

Terese left the room and thought to herself, What perfect timing! Now Delilah will feel much better since her father is here. It's a good thing for him to come and show his support, especially at a time like this. Terese purposefully slowed her pace so as to give the three of the Royans time alone together.

As she was coming back from the nurses' station with the container filled with ice chips, she thought back to her own father's reaction to her first pregnancy. "Terese, we are so disappointed in you. How could you do this to us? I thought we raised you better than that? Is this the gratitude we get? Well, you are certainly not going to put this family to shame. I will not have it! We will send you away to your Aunt Janice's, you will have the child and then it will be given up for adoption, after which you will return home and we will never speak of this again, do you understand?"

Yes, that was one of the most unhappy times in her life. She remembered the day when Molly Marie had been born. It had been a Sunday morning and there was a thunderstorm raging outside. She remembered the lights flickering while she was in labor. It had been a hard delivery and after she had delivered, they did not even want to tell her whether it was a girl or a boy. Finally one of the nurses relented and she found out it was a girl. They would not allow her to hold her baby girl, though. But she named her Molly Marie and she had never forgotten her sweet baby girl. After Molly's birth, Aunt Janice sent her back home, and her father held true to his word. They had never spoken about the incident again.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Soon Terese was standing before Delilah's room door and pushed it open to enter. For some reason she suddenly felt as though she were an unwanted intruder. When she came through the door, Mrs. Royan was sitting in the chair close to Delilah's bed and was smoothing Delilah's hair. Mr. Royan was standing next to his wife and was speaking to Delilah in a low comforting voice.

"I'm sorry," Terese spoke. "Do you need some alone time? I could go to the waiting room until you need me, Delilah."

"No!" Delilah spoke."Please stay, Terese. You know what to do. You're my coach, remember?"

"Well. . .if your mother and father say it's okay for me to stay," Terese looked at Mr. Royan, who nodded his head.

Mrs. Royan spoke up, "Absolutely,Terese."

"Oooh! I think the contractions are starting up again," Delilah said as she reached for Terese.

"T. t. terese, c. c. come hold my h. h.hand, p. please!

Terese stepped over to the side of the bed opposite of Mrs. Royan. She took Delilah's hand and began to coach her through the contraction.

"Okay, Delilah, breathe through it," Terese said as she watched the contractions on the machine which showed up through Delilah's fetal monitor. Yes, the pitocin seemed to be working.

Good, thought Terese. I don't know how much longer Delilah can last!

"Almost through. . .it's winding down. . .there you go. . .okay, contraction's over. Good job!" Terese said as she patted Delilah's hand.

"Yes, you did a wonderful job, honey," Mrs. Royan said as she continued to smoothe the strands of Delilah's hair.

Delilah sighed in relief. "I think that new stuff they put in my I.V. is starting to work."

So it continued that way for the next two hours. Mr. Royan had taken to pacing up and down on the other side of the room. Mrs. Royan kept her place next to Delilah on the other side of the bed. Now the contractions were coming closed together and much stronger than before. They were growing increasingly longer, too.

"Here we go again, Delilah," Terese said as she held Delilah's hand. "Just breathe through it again. . . . .that's the way. . .good job. . .almost done. . .good. . . all finished. You're doing great, Delilah," Terese said reassuringly.

The contractions began again soon and this time Delilah moaned as she squeezed Terese's hand harder than she had ever squeezed before. When the contractions were over, Terese noticed how worn out Delilah looked. Mrs. Royan looked almost as worn out, if that were possible. But Mrs. Royan was worn out with worry, and Terese knew from experience how hard worry can be on a mother.

Delilah's contractions began once again. This time they lasted even longer and were even harder than previously. Delilah moaned; it was becoming difficult for her to concentrate on her breathing routine.

"Oh honey, you're doing such a good job? We're so proud of you!" Mrs. Royan reassured Delilah.

"Yes, sweetheart," Mr. Royan chimed in. "Just hang in there."


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Soon Delilah went into hard labor. Her moans were becoming louder and the fear was evident in her big brown eyes.

“I’m scared, Terese, I’m scared! It hurts a lot!”

“Okay, Delilah, why don’t you hold on to my hand again, and when you have a contraction, you can squeeze my hand, just like before. And let’s remember to breathe through it just like they taught us in Lamaze class, okay? I’ll help you.”

It had now been thirteen hours since Delilah had been admitted to the hospital, but it seemed more like an eternity. Since the pitocin drip, Delilah’s labor had become increasingly harder, and the nurses were entering and leaving the room more frequently.

At last, the realization of what was happening to her had begun to sink in for Delilah. She was pale and her stuttering was becoming worse.

“Oh T. . T. . Ter. . ese, it h. . .h. .hurts so. . so. .m. . m. .much!!

Delilah’s knuckles were becoming whiter each time she squeezed Terese’s hand. Terese’s hand was beginning to throb after a while and soon she could not feel her hand any longer, because Delilah had squeezed it so hard that the circulation was cut off.

“Come on, Delilah, let’s breathe. . .hee, hee, hee, hoo. . . .hee, hee, hee, hoo. . .hee, hee, hee, hoo. . .Good, Delilah, that’s good.” Terese watched the fetal monitor as the contraction started to wind down. At the end of the contraction, Terese said, “Now, let’s do a cleansing breath. . . . .good, Delilah, really good.”

“That was a strong one, Terese. That was the worst one yet! I don’t know how much m. .m. . much m. . m. . more I can t. .t. .take,” Delilah stuttered some more and she shook her head.

At that moment, Dr. Enroth entered the room again.

“How are we doing, Delilah?” she asked as she looked at the chart which was in the pocket at the end of Delilah’s bed.

“It's really b. b. bad!”

“Mhmm. . .the nurse tells me you are about ready to deliver, Delilah. Soon it will be over,” she said as she touched Delilah on the shoulder.

At that moment another contraction was in progress, and while Terese helped Delilah breathe through the contraction, Dr. Enroth looked at the strip of paper coming out of the fetal monitor. Once the contraction was over, Dr. Enroth said she would examine Delilah. Mr. Royan then left the room.

She reached under the sheet, examined her, and said, “Delilah, it’s time, dear. Are you ready to push this baby out?”

“R. . re. .real. .ly? It’s t . . t . .time?”

Another contraction began, and Delilah moaned, even louder than before.

“Okay, Delilah,” Terese said, “Breathe through it, Delilah. Pretty soon you'll be all done!”

No sooner had the words come out of Terese’s mouth when the delivery room nurse rushed into the room, followed by the baby nurse. The baby nurse was pushing an isolette in front of her, which is what the baby would be placed into as soon as it was born.

“Everything is proceeding normally, Delilah. All you have to do now is push when I tell you to push, okay?” Dr. Enroth explained to her.

Delilah nodded her head.

Another nurse came into the room and soon both nurses were at the bottom of the bed, each of them holding one of Delilah’s legs.

One of the nurses looked up at Terese and Mrs. Royan and said, “We need both of you to help Delilah sit up by supporting her back in your arms while she pushes." The nurse looked at Terese and said, "You can count for her while she pushes, just like you learned in Lamaze class, okay?”

Terese nodded her head in affirmation. She was so so relieved to hear these words. She was glad for Delilah's sake that it was almost over.

Dr. Enroth sat at the bottom of the bed, getting ready to deliver the baby. As soon as the next contraction came, she said to Delilah, “Okay, Delilah, push!”

Terese started to count as Delilah moaned, pushing as hard as she could: “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!”

This went on for about fifteen minutes and finally, when it seemed that Delilah could go on no longer, the baby was delivered at last.


Rox ★ Americorps    
Delilah woke up sticky. She couldn't feel her legs; even opening her eyes took what little energy she had. The doctors told her she was too weak to have a kid, but she did it.

Delilah lifted her head to the left side of her bed. Her father sat, knocked out, in the chair next to her bed. Her hand was heavy due to his hand intertwined in hers.

"Dad?" she whispered.

He woke up with a start, but smiled once he realized she was awake.

"Baby girl, look at you." He whispered back. "My strong baby girl -” His voice cut off as he choked back his tears.

"Daddy." Delilah tried to get up, but her father stopped her.

"So, what are you going to name him?"

"It's a boy?" Her smile was slow.

"Yes. Do you want me to call the nurse so that you can see him? You fell asleep immediately; you scared all of us."

"I'm sorry. Yes, call the nurse. Is he okay?" Delilah asked as her father pushed the button for the nurse.

"Yes," Delilah's father looked at her with wary eyes, "but he hasn't opened his eyes yet. The doctor's checked them out and say he is fine."

"Oh… alright."

The intercom turned on. "Can I help you?"

"Hi, Delilah has woken up. Can she see her boy?"

"Of course, I'll be there in a bit.” The static stopped.

Mr. Royan sighed and ventured over to his chair. “How do you feel?”

“What do you mean?”

“You gave birth to a child just now. Do you feel okay?”

“Yeah I guess.”

The nurse saved Delilah from some more awkward comments by pushing a cart into the room. She placed her hands inside the cart cooing at what resided in her arms.

“Here you go,” the nurse said as she placed a blob into Delilah’s arms.

He sat peacefully in Delilah’s arms. She found it hard to breathe as the tears flowed from her face. His head was full of brown curls, light and soft. His eyelashes breathed with life and tickled his bitty nose underneath. His beautiful thin lips seemed to pucker out desiring a motherly kiss.

Delilah leaned down and kissed her baby’s forehead. And his eyelids fluttered to finally reveal his vast brown eyes. Delilah lost herself inside of them.



Due to her lack of energy, Delilah stayed in the hospital for longer than expected. She played with her son as much as she could before she had to sign the papers.

“Hey honey.” Terese entered her room.

“Hey Terese.” Delilah sat up with ease.

“I just came in to check on you before I left. So are you nervous about tomorrow?”

“Um, just a bit.” Delilah tried to stifle her tears.

“Oh darling,” Terese sat on the side of Delilah’s hospital bed. “It’s hard to give up a child isn’t it?”

“Yeah…mu-ch har-harder than I t—t-thought.”

“How about you write a letter to your son?” Terese suggested.

“What? Why?” Delilah blew her nose into her smock.

“You can write all your feelings to your child. You can tell him why you gave him up.”

“Does he keep it?”

“Only if you want him to…”

Delilah’s father walked into the room holding a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

“Daddy! It’s four pm! Mom told you to get dinner.”

Mr. Royan smirked, “This is dinner. Plus don’t you just want to eat something that tastes good.”

He glanced over to the lunch tray that Delilah hadn’t touched.

Terese stood up, “I guess it’s time for me to go.”

“Really? I thought you could help me with the letter…” Delilah turned her intense brown eyes towards Terese.

Terese leaned down and hugged Delilah, “Sorry Hun, it’s something you have to do by yourself.”

Terese walked out, when Mr. Royan handed Delilah a warm doughnut. Delilah didn’t hesitate at all. She sunk her mouth into half of the doughnut.

“mmMhmm.” She moaned.

Mr. Royan laughed, “I remember when you were in second grade, and we made you take French classes.”

“Oh yeah,” Delilah laughed between bites, “And there was a Krispy Kreme shop right by the French place. You always bought me a doughnut before class!”

“I only bought them because you demanded it. You would stomp your feet and threaten not go to class.” Mr. Royan laughed at the memory, “But you were so sweet, and I knew you could never complete your threat.”

Delilah smiled, “I had you wrapped around my little pinky.”

Mr. Royan half-smiled, “Yes, you still do.”

Delilah just smiled back.

“I remember being in a room very much like this when you were born.” Mr. Royan passed another two doughnuts to Delilah, who greedily snatched them up, “You were beautiful. And that was the day that I decided to marry your mother.”

Delilah dropped her doughnut, “WHAT!”

Mr. Royan looked at Delilah with alarm, “We weren’t married when we were blessed with you.”

“So I’ve been struggling with all of this and you guys never told me?!”

“Your mother wanted to, but I wouldn’t let her. When I finally decided that she should tell you, she told me I had to tell you.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Five months,” Mr. Royan shrugged, “it’s hard to talk about this...at least it is for me.” He covered his face with his hands.

Delilah realized how hard it must be for her perfect father to admit to a mistake.

She decided to keep prodding for questions, “Well, how old was mom? She got to keep me.”

“She was twenty-four.But she had me; I was with her from the moment you were conceived.” He blushed. “We never told you, because we didn’t want to set a bad example for you. But instead we never talked about it, and then we set a bad example. We learned you can never avoid hard questions."

Delilah put her head down, but her father put his hand under her chin to look her in the eye.

“That doesn’t mean we don’t love you or that we are disappointed in you. We are upset with ourselves for not warning you.”

“Okay.” Delilah was furious, but didn't have the energy to act out.

Delilah started to fiddle with the sheets next to her as Mr. Royan tapped his foot.

“What are you thinking?” He asked.

“I’m not sure yet.” She lied.

“Oh. Well, I’m going to get a cup of coffee and call your mother.”

“Where is she?”

“She couldn’t come in here while you didn’t know. She thought she might accidentally blurt everything out.” He smiled, “will you be fine?”

She took her time to answer, “yeah, I have something to do anyway.”

Her father left her with her thoughts.



Draft .5:

Hey Baby (When I say that it’s because I don’t have a name for you yet, not like some nickname you have…I mean it could be a nickname if you wanted it to be…),

Draft 1:

I’m writing you a letter because Terese told me too. I don’t know what use you’ll have of it…

Draft 2:

You’re a boy!
Well…you know that…don’t you?

Draft 2:

Dear baby,
I can’t believe you made me fat. I waddled because of you. And now you’re a boy, who’s going to ruin some girl’s heart. Don’t you do that! Seriously, I will find you.

Draft 3:

I love you.

Draft 4:

Dear Noah Josiah (However, you might not have that name anymore. Because I was just recently informed that your birth parents might name you something else…and this is America, everyone does what they want...),

Draft 4.5:

I'm already thinking about your first words. I'm not going to hear them.

Draft 5:

When the doctors first showed you to me, I fell asleep. So I don’t want you to think that I didn’t want to see you. My body was just so tired.

Draft 5.5:

I hope you have good parents. Mine are hypocrites! They had sex before they were married. Do you know about sex yet? If not this is wildly inappropriate. I mean that's how we created you, but...

Oh no! Have you had the sex talk yet? I've started a whole new set of worries for your parents... and you.

Draft 6:

I can’t take care of you. I’m only sixteen! So stop looking at me with your gorgeous brown eyes -- you have eyes like me. And your smile is like mine too, but it also looks like Ian's. Don’t ask about him; he’s a butt face.

FINAL DRAFT:

Dear Noah Josiah,

I’m sixteen years old. I’ll be turning seventeen in two months, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t keep you. I’m in awe of how beautiful you are. I understand why it took eight months to make you; you’re perfect.

I have prayed numerous times asking God to protect you. I know that you are going to be with a great family who will love you. I’m signing the papers in a little while.

Your name means Peace, God will save you. Keep that close to your heart, for me. God’s love is greater than the combination of any earthly love. I learned that while you were inside of me. I finally understand the depth of God giving up his only son, because I’m doing it right now.

Noah, I just want you to know that I love you. No person can hold a child in their stomach for eight months and not love them. When I first saw you, I kissed your forehead, and you opened your eyes for the first time. The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was me. I’m forever imprinted on your heart now.

Love knows no ends.

Love,
Your mother



Delilah put down her pen and tried to wipe away the tears from her eyes; but the streams of tears could not be stopped.

blainecindy - I love my WDC!    Today is the day, Terese thought as she pulled her car into a spot in the hospital parking ramp. It seems like the time has gone by so fast, and now Delilah is going to sign the papers to give her baby up for adoption. I can hardly believe it, she thought as she shook her head. It has been quite a journey!

As she walked into the hospital and down the hallway toward Delilah’s room, Terese thought back to the first day she had seen Delilah. She remembered how nervous and shy Delilah had been to introduce herself to the group. Back then Terese had wondered if she would ever be able to coax this shy girl out of her shell so she could become her friend. It had not been easy, but it certainly had been worth it. Now Terese was ready to help Delilah say good-bye to the sweet little baby boy she had borne.

She entered the room and Delilah was turned away from the door, sobbing softly as she covered her face with her hands.

"Hi, Delilah," Terese sad as she approached the bed.

Delilah started sniffling, trying to stop the flow of tears from her eyes.

Terese picked up the tissue box from the bed stand and held it out to her, saying , "Here are some tissues, Delilah."

When Delilah turned to take the tissues out of Terese's hand, Terese could see Delilah had been crying for some time because her eyes were very red and swollen, and her cheeks were soaked with her tears.

"Thanks," Delilah sobbed. She hardly stuttered any more. She turned away from Terese again.

Terese sat down in the plastic-covered chair next to the hospital bed. She reached out and put her hand on Delilah's arm.

"I remember how hard this was for me, Delilah. I imagine you're feeling about the same as I did when i signed the adoption papers."

Now Delilah's cries had turned into soft little sobs punctuated by hiccups.

"It's okay to feel sad, Delilah. You wouldn't be human if you didn't. But you need to remember why you are doing this in the first place."

Delilah's sobs were becoming fewer and further between. Delilah could hear her sniffling. Next she blew her nose and turned toward Terese, hanging on to each of Terese's words.

"Remember that you chose to keep this pregnancy and have this baby because you love him. And you chose to give him away to a new mother and father because you love him. And someday, because of the beautiful letter you have written, Noah Josiah will know just how much you love him.

"Do you really think so?" Delilah asked, sniffling after her words.

Terese smiled at her. "I really think so."

Just as Terese was finishing her sentence, the door opened and Mrs. Harris, the social worker from the adoption agency, walked in with a manilla folder tucked under her arm.

"Good morning Delilah," she greeted Delilah with a smile.

"Morning," Delilah managed to mumble as she was using the tissue paper to wipe her eyes and cheeks.

"Well, Delilah, I am here to help you sign the adoption papers. They are the same papers we went over a few months ago and they are the same papers we went over 24 hours ago. As I said yesterday, I was giving you 24 hours to think carefully about these papers again before you sign them. Are you now ready to sign them?" The social worker waited expectantly for Delilah to answer.

"Yes, but first I want to hold my baby one last time," Delilah managed to say.

"Of course, I understand," the social worker agreed. "I will send in the nurse with the baby. Take all the time you need. I'll be waiting outside for you."

The social worker left the room, and just as Terese arose from the chair, and began to walk away to do the same, Delilah put a hand on her arm.

"Please, stay, Terese. I want you here. I need you with me, okay?

"Okay, Delilah, whatever you want." Terese sat back down in the chair.

No sooner had she sat down when the nurse walked into the room, carrying the baby in her arms. Noah Josiah was swaddled in a blanket, with a little blue knitted cap on his sweet head, but he was alert and moving his eyes all around.

The nurse placed the baby into Delilah's open arms. "Here you go, dear. Now I'll be just outside when you're ready, okay?"

Delilah nodded and the nurse left the room.

Delilah looked up at Terese and said, "Isn't Noah Josiah beautiful? I can't believe this dear little baby boy came from my body, from me!"

"Noah Josiah is beautiful! You did a good job, Delilah. You can be very proud." Terese looked away as Delilah began to coo to the little one. She feared that she, too, might begin to cry.

Delilah was quiet for a moment and then she looked at Terese.

"Terese?"

"Yes, Hun?"

"Terese, do you think maybe we could pray together? I mean, you, and me, while I still have Noah Josiah? I just feel like maybe we should thank God and ask him for his blessing or something."

Terese smiled. Delilah had indeed come a long way.

"Well, I think that's a fine idea. Would you like to do the praying?"

"Yes, I think I do."

Delilah bowed her head and closed her eyes. Terese did the same, waiting for Delilah to begin.

"God, I want to thank you for helping me through this last year. Now I understand what Terese said about You not giving me more than I could handle, because I was able to handle all You gave me. It wasn't easy sometimes, but I did it. And I have a feeling I was able to do it because You helped me. From now on God, I will try to trust You more, I promise. . . . And God. . . thank you for sending me Terese."

Terese smiled, as tears threated to flow out of her eyes, and as a lump formed in her throat.

"I think she was Your special gift to me, God. She was like my angel, and I appreciate her for being there with me. I don't think I could have done it without her helping me. Please give her Your special blessing, God, because she deserves it. . . . And now, dear God, about Noah Josiah. . . Thank you for letting me bring this little life into the world. Noah Josiah is so beautiful and I love him so much. I know that giving Noah Josiah up for adoption is the best thing for him, but it is the hardest thing for me to do. . . " Delilah sniffled a bit and then continued. "And God please let Noah Josiah know some day that I gave him up because I loved him so very much and I wanted him to be happy and have a good life. I pray that Noah Josiah's new parents will love him as much as I do. . . and maybe someday, someday. . we will meet again. God . . .I thank You for all these things and I praise You because you are . . God. . .and you are my Father! Amen."

"Amen," Terese said, sniffling as she wiped the tears out of her eyes.

Delilah held Noah Josiah close to her body and said, "Oh, I love you so much, Noah Josiah, and I will never forget you for as long as I live! And maybe someday your new mommy and daddy will tell you all about me; at least, I hope so. I want you to know that I do love you and that you will always be in my heart and in my prayers."

She gave Noah Josiah a kiss on his sweet forehead.

"Terese," Delilah said with a new note of confidence in her voice.

"Yes, Delilah?"

"I'm ready."


blainecindy - I love my WDC!    

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