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Little Slaughterhouse of Horrors
You may never want to eat a hot dog again after this story, No I'm not a vegan |
| [Introduction]
In this episode, when an old friend goes missing after taking a vacation...The crew of the Fellowship is on the trial of the Mix Max Sausage Factory and discover the horrible secret behind the sausages. IT'S MADE OF PEOPLE! Animal People at least |
| It started rather innocently, Belladonna Starchild, the White Dragon Girl was on her way the the hot springs, when she was stopped by a familiar face It was Donatello, the Ninja Turtle. The Ninja Turtles were something of a mystery in the space beasts universe, no one knew who they were or where they came from, they claimed to be from another universe and they claimed they were not humanimals merely 'mutants' who evolved due to some radioactive goo. Since the ninja turtles did not look anything like Turtle Humanimals, and Humanimals who took a whiff of their scent said they smelled different from Humanimals people simply accepted they their 'accidental uplift' was genuine. Two of the turtles had become romantically entangled with the native Humanimals, Raphael had fallen head over heels for the five headed dragoness Tiamat while Donatello found himself in nerdy bliss with the equally geeky Eastern Dragon Belladonna "Um...Bell..." Donny said blushing under his green scales, I've been doing a lot of thinking about our relationship. Belladonna was getting a 'danger Will Robinson' feeling "And I was wondering..." He opened a velvet box, inside was a golden ring "Will you marry me?" He whispered Belladonna felt herself get choked up "Donny..." She whispered "I really, really, like you and you are probobly the best friend I've ever had...but I'm not sure I'm ready to be tied down." She put a claw on his shoulder "I need to think." She said "Give me a week to think about it and I'll give you my answer." |
| "Alright," Donny said, as he gave Bella the box. "Please let me know soon." |
| Belladonna was not sure how to resolve this...She had been mating with Donny for at least three weeks now in a friends with benefits sort of way, She had no idea he had those kinds of feelings for her...was she ready for marriage! He wasn't even the same species as her! She was a dragon and he was a Turtle...so many conflicting emotions. "I need to get away and review these emotions." She said to herself sometime later "I need a nice relaxing far away place where I can just think in a nice quiet spot without my friends pressuring me." She flipped through her travel guide and looked for a nice vacation planet...She wanted something remote, exotic, and with lots of quiet spaces. "Ah! Here we are!" She said "Luneria, the desert planet! Home of the New Yucatan Five Star Swampsprings Resort..." Little did Belladonna know she was about to be tangled in a web beyond her wildest nightmares... |
| "Let's see," she said, as she looked through the brochures. "What's the best way to travel?" |
| Belladonna had some trouble with Space Buses because she was so large she was almost always banging her head against something or getting her horns stuck, she much preferred the luxury space ships that were akin to Jumbo Jets. "Planet Luneria..." She whispered "My home planet...back when I was human." Belladonna had been born human...But she had also been born with a genetic disorder that would leave her dead by eight years old. Her Grandfather, the great scientist Wyndem Moreau was determined not to let that happen...Because growing a new human body to transfer mind and soul in was illegal, he was forced to transfer her soul to an animal body he chose a dragon because dragons live a long time and are magic...He thought she would like being able to fly. She didn't. Instead she ran away from home and ended up being taken in by a slave farm, with a bunch of other slave children |
Eventually she escaped, but now she had that rootless feeling of the perpetual wanderer. That was one thing marriage to Donatello could give her, a home, a place she could call her own. She could have said yes to him easily, but she didn't like to jump into things without thinking them through. The big sapce ship sat down gently on Luneria and Belladonna followed the other passengers down the ramp. As soon as the desert air hit her nostrils she felt like a kid again and remebered her childhood on Luneria. She wondered if anyone would be waiting for her in the terminal. She had sent a message that she was coming, but had received no answer. |
| "I guess it would be a bit too much to expect my family to be waiting for me...after I stupidly ran away in a temper tantrum..." She pulled on her backpack and headed for her resort. "Than again..." She whispered to herself "I would never have met my humanimal friends...Matoaka...Minsk, Bill, Jim, Bob and of course Kong." Belladonna walked to the resort, it was too hot to fly even if it was Luneria's winter and biggest tourist season. Belladonna walked into the lobby it smelled a jasmine and incense there were four water fountains at the four corners of the lobby, Belladonna stooped at the fountain nearest her and took the longest drink she had ever drunk she was that thirsty. |
At the counter the clerk told her the room she reserved was ready. "And I put the dragon-sized bed in there. I'm sure you'll be comfortable." I better be, Belladonna thought, at these prices. She went upstairs and just as she was about to open her room door a voice came bellowing down the hall. "Belladonna! Is that you?" At first she didn't recognize the huge dinosaur attached to the voice. |
| The Dinosaur was the Stegosaurus Mabel, At first Belladonna didn't know who she was. "You had me as a guest speaker on your radio show!" The Dinosaur said "Don't you remember?" "I did?" Bell was confused at first but then she remembered "Oh yeah, I did." Meanwhile Belladonna's Fellowship friends were enjoying a meal at the Diner at the End of the Universe (Which is not actually at the end of the universe, but hey it's such a cool name why give it up?) Ichabod and Marzipan had both ordered Hamburgers which both of them enjoyed immensely much to Bill's disgust. "How can you guys eat that stuff so causally?" Bill asked wrinkling his nose "Hey!" Marzipan retorted "Matoaka said that at places like this we're free to order whatever we want, we don't have to bend over backwards to please super sensitive herbivores!" "Could you for one second imagine things from my position?" Bill grumbled "Bill! You're hardly a poster boy for farm animal rights!" Ichabod retorted "You're drinking a milkshake...with whipped cream I might add! Where do you think dairy products come from?" "You don't have to kill the cow to get the milk..." Bill muttered as he sipped on his jumbo large chocolate milkshake. Marzipan and Ichabod continued to eat their burgers, at one point Marzipan got a little ketchup on her face. "Oh Marzi..." Ichabod said "Here let me get that for you..." He wiped it off with his finger and put said finger in his mouth |
Bill puked a little of his milkshake back into the glass. The ketchup had looked like blood... cow blood. Fortunately, no one noticed how his throat had spasmed. In fact, Ichabod and Marzipan barely noticed him at all they were so lost in each other. What a pair of lovebirds. And they sure didn't care what they ate in front of him. He might as well not be there. "Uh, excuse me guys, but I guess I better be moving along." "What?" Ichabod said, tearing himself away from Marzipan. "Oh.. sure, Bill. See you later, OK?" "Yeah, sure," Bill said. "Later." He went off by himself feeling a little lonely. |
| (Hey BBWolf James can make an appearance in this story, if that is the only way to get you to make more then one sentence additions) Just then, a familiar face walked in it was Aries the Ram-Man with a face like three rainy days. "Hey there Sir Sheep." Bill said 'What's with the long face?" "I've received a letter from a lover thought was dead!" Aries responded "Why are you so sad then?" Bill asked "She's being held prisoner and I don't know where...All she says is that she is being held prison at the Mix Max Sausage factory...but I don't know what planet that is on!" |
| "I think I've heard of that place somewhere," Bill said. Meanwhile, James was in his ship, scouting in the slaver lanes. "You're around here somewhere," he muttered. "But I'll find you." |
| James spotted a large building in the vast stretch of desert that covers the Luneria wilderness, it was a enormous factory like building, sending deep plumes of smoke up into the air. "What the hell?" He muttered Meanwhile, Belladonna was enjoying soaking in her dragon sized bathtub, she never realized how much she missed being able to soak her head in the bathtub |
"Lordy, that feels good!" she muttered after dipping her head for the fourteenth time. She was of the dragon type known as "Eastern" which loves water, especially rivers and swamps, not the ocean so much. Her less civilized relatives considered an all day soak in the mud to be the height of luxury. In fact, when Eastern Dragons were first discovered, they were called Mud Dragons. But now that some of them were civilized they had formed a group to "improve respect for dragons" and the use of the name "Mud Dragon" was discouraged. |
| "I'm glad someone's enjoying themselves," said the maid who came in. "Just be careful out there- strange things have been happening to young women." |
The maid fluffed a pillow. "Who am I? I'm Jashima, your maid! You do know you is staying in a hotel, don't you?" Belladonna stared at the maid. "And you just walk in and out whenever you feel like it?" "You is supposed to hang the DO NOT DISTURB sign on your door if you don't want no maid service." "I forgot. But as long as you're here, maybe you can answer a few questions." "I'll try," Jashima said. "What you want to know?" |
| "Just what were you talking about?" "Several young women have been kidnapped." |
| "Why do you think that is?" Belladonna asked "Who knows?" The Maid said "But something suspicious is also happening, the price of sausages has gone up!" Meanwhile the crew of the Fellowship was meeting to discuss what needed to be done to find Aries' lover Dulcie |
| "All right." Matoaka said rubbing her temples "How do you propose we find the Sheep Woman?" "You OK Matoaka?" Jordan the Squirrel Girl asked "Little Amalthia has been sick...not sleeping well." The Unicorn Woman sighed |
"I could make her some of my special tea," Jordan said. "Would you?" said Matoaka. "I know it's a lot to ask..." Jordan smiled. "No problem! You know I would do anything to help little Amalthia." Ichabod snapped his fingers. "If Bill was here he would have a good idea for finding a sheep. Sheeps and cows are related, you know. They both have hooves." Jim rolled his eyes. "Yes, we know. Sayyyy, where is Bill anyway? I haven't seen him for awhile." |
| "Well, we can hope he's not in too much trouble. He may get into it every now and then, but he usually gets himself out." |
| Bill meanwhile was looking at his reflection in a pool of water. "Nobody understands what it means to be livestock." He grumbled "All my herd brothers and sisters are wild animals, me? I'm just a bull a Texas Longhorn...An animal that only exists to be someone else's lunch!" A tear rolled down his soft nose and fell into the water "Stupid domestication..." Bill muttered "Great for humans, lousy for animals!" |
After a while Bill realized that standing in one place all day was not his true destiny. "Let's face it," he muttered. "I could never be part of a herd. Unless there was a stampede. A stampede I could enjoy." So he made his way back to Matoaka and the others and was surprised by how heartily they greeted him. "Bill! Where the heck have you been? We need your hoof mind expertise." |
| "Oh! Aries' Lover...right." Bill was caught off guard by all this attention "So...What are we going to do?" "First we need to know where this Mix Max factory is." Jim said "I searched the internet but everything came up blank." "Nothing?" Bill asked "Nothing at all?" "Nothing what's so ever." Jim said "That only makes it more suspicious." "As if someone were paying the government big money to make sure their tracks are covered." Ichabod said Everyone was silent. Meanwhile Belladonna, had finished her bath, put on some clothes and decided she would head to the gym. "Then again..." She mused to herself "I have decided this weekend I'm going to pamper myself...Do I need to worry about keeping myself fit for a week? I could just head down the connivance store by myself a soda, an ice cream bar and a whole mess of chocolates and eat them all in one gulp! (Little known fact about Bell-Bell was she was secretly a junk food addict) But before Belladonna could get out the door, someone sneaked up on her put chloroform to her nose and she blacked out before she even knew what hit her. |
| (Editor's note! Salvage through editing Hurrah!) Jim asked for Bob's help hacking through the intergalactic web in search of the Mix Max Sausage Factory Website. "Find anything?" Jim asked "Nope. Nada." Bob said sadly Just then Jim shivered violently "Why you shudder like that?" Bob asked "Oh...It's mating season for us squirrels and...I can't mate with Jordan because she would get pregnant but still...I got this twitch in the back of my tail." "I feel SO sorry for you." Bob said sarcastically "It's easy for you to be snide." Jim said "You're immune to the ample charms of women." "Indeed I am." Bob said with a smirk |
| "Of course, there is the males that might be receptive to you to worry about." |
| Belladonna opened her eyes and saw that she was no longer in her room, in fact as far as she could tell she was in a cage, an enormous cage! "Where...Where am I?" Belladonna asked as she rubbed her sore head "We're going to be sausages..." Came a soft bleating voice Belladonna turned her head and saw a plump little sheep woman "Come again?" The Dragon said "My name is Dulcie." The Sheep said "I used to work at Castle Vortex but then a sprained my ankle and they sold me to the Mix Max Sausage Factory to be converted to wieners." |
"Wieners!" Belladonna said. "This is outrageous!" "It's best if we just submit quietly and don't cause any trouble," Dulcie said. "Are you out of your mind? I am going to be quiet about being converted into wieners?" Belladonna grabbed the bars of the cage and shook them as hard as she could. "Hey! Let me out of here! I have friends in high places!" |
| Suddenly, she screamed, as several hundred volts of electricity coursed through her body. "I told you," Dulcie said. |
| "Why..." Belladonna said weakly "Why...Are they doing this?" "Sweetheart." The Ewe said sadly "This is what becomes of all Humanimals when they outlive their usefulness, They come to the slaughterhouse to be processed and fed to the humans." "But that's cannibalism!" Belladonna exclaimed "It's only considered cannibalism if you eat your own species." Meanwhile on the Fellowship the 'phone' went off. "Fellowship do you read me?" It was James' voice |
| "What is it?" Matoaka asked. "I need some help," James said. "I've been tracking some shipments of slaves, and I just found a place that makes Hell seem comfortable." "What's that?" "A goddamn meat factor." "Now James, you don't need to be swearing on the com," Matoaka said with a chuckle. "Besides, I thought that you liked meat." "Not when it's Soylent Green," James said. "I just hope you know that movie reference." |
| "Wait a minute..." Matoaka said quickly "Our friend Aries the Ram got a message from someone being held prisoner in a sausage factory! Does the factory by any chance have a logo that says 'Mix Max'?" "It's dark where I am." James said "But I do see an M'M on the building." |
"Unless you smell chocolate that M&M must stand for Mix Max!" Matoaka said. "You are right. You are standing at the center of evil." "So be it," James said. "I'm going to bust as many of these victims out as I can." "Do you need any help?" Matoaka asked. "You know I never ask for it but I never send it away when it shows up." "As usual I don't know whether you just said yes or no." |
| "Use your brain Unicorn." James said "You should be able to figure it out...Over and out." Matoaka turned to the rest of her crew. "We're going to Planet Luneria." The Unicorn said "Luneria?" Kong exclaimed "Isn't that where Bell-Bell is on vacation?" Matoaka had to stop and think about that "Oh dear." She said |
| Meanwhile, James was busy trying to pick the lock on the cage he was in, trying to ignore the jolts of electricity being sent through his body. "I'm getting too old for this," he said, after yet another powerful jolt zapped him. "I can't believe these bastards sneak up on me and knocked ME out. I'm just glad they didn't get this pin in my ear- a pain in the ass, but it has its uses, like now." |
| "Hello..." A soft female voice whispered "Is someone there?" "Are you that white dragon woman?" James asked "Yes!" Belladonna whispered "I'm in here is Aries' lover Dulcie the Ewe!" |
'I've come to rescue you," James said. "But aren't you in a cage like us?" "Yes and that's a problem." Belladonna sighed. "You know they are going to grind us into sausage, don't you?" "So I've heard," James said. "Listen, I'm trying to pick the lock of my cage but these jolts of electricity are making my hand muscles cramp." "Why don't you short it out?" "Huh? How do I do that?" Belladonna laughed. "All you need is some liquid. Think about it." |
| Meanwhile, the Fellowship crew was on it's way toward the planet Luneria. Bob was getting the 'psychic shivers' he was rubbing his arms as if they were cold. "I feel strange." Bob said "And I mean I feel REALLY strange!" |
Minsk put her arm around Bob's shoulders. "Awww, ever since I told you about that article I read that said Luneria's ratio of males to females is way above normal..." "That's NOT the reason I feel strange!" Bob protested. "I know THAT feeling. This is a NEW feeling that I never felt before." |
| Bob was a little pissed off...Now he couldn't focus...He tried to calm himself by taking deep breaths "OK...OK...Calm down..." He looked out the window towards the darkened desert landscape. And then he jumped back in fear "I SAW HIM!" Bob exclaimed "Saw who?" Bill asked "The Old One! The One humans call the Devil! He...He is in league with the Mix Max Factory!" |
Bob was shaking. Minsk still had her arm on his shoulders so she hugged him and said, "Geez, Bob! Settle down. You're really nervous." Bob pushed her arm off. "Didn't you hear what I said? I saw the Devil! Satan! El Diablo! He looked awful!" Bob's eyes were wide and showing the whites. "Does anyone have a sedative?" Bill said. "I don't need a sedative! If you saw the Devil you'd be crapping your pants too!" "Oh no, you didn't crap your pants, did you?" Minsk asked. "No, nooo! It's just an expression." |
| "Are you sure it was the Devil, and not someone that looked like him?" Minsk asked. "He normally doesn't bother with mortals." |
| "I'm sure it was him!" Bob said "He's got this aura that's a dead giveaway to psychics like me!" |
Bill rolled his eyes. "Uh... Bob, do you remember that night you woke up screaming that a giant catfish was trying to eat you?" "That was a dream! I'm not sleeping now!" "I'm just pointing out that even a psychic can be fooled sometime." Bob sighed. "Ok... OK... I realize it's too much for you guys to take in. And I know we are going to attack the Mix Max factory anyway, but I just wanted to alert you guys that we may be up against stronger forces than we expected, supernaturally evil forces." "Alert noted," Bill said. "I wonder how James is doing?" Minsk asked. "He may have freed everybody all by himself by now." "No, we would have heard from him. What does your intuition say, Bob?" "It says James is in trouble." |
| Indeed, James was in trouble. During a chance look at the security footage, a guard on duty saw the wolf messing with the locks. However, instead of killing him, the guards, who were a bunch of bored women, decided to have some fun with him, in the form of bondage games. At the moment, he was hanging upside-down, with his hands tied behind his back, with a short length tying them to his ankles. He was also stripped, and gagged, with some rope around his muzzle. Also, the guards were all armed with a hose, which were loaded with a flower-and-fruit-smelling water. Retirement's looking better and better every month, he thought, trying to free himself, as the guards slowly turned the hoses on. |
| "OK..." Belladonna said "Why is it the Mix Max Factory choose Planet Luneria? I mean Planet Luneria is a free world!" "It wasn't always." Dulcie said "Remember back in the bad old days all Humanimals were enslaved!" "Not on the Neo-Hippie planets!" Belladonna said |
"I don't know much about history and politics," Dulcie said. "Anyway, what's the point? Does it matter where the Mix Max factory is located? The problem is that it exists at all, isn't it?" "I suppose so," Belladonna siad, "but it's mighty strange that it's on Luneria." "Is that James I hear screaming down the hall?" "Yes, the guards are having a little fun with him." "Fun?" "You know what I mean, their own kind of evil, sadistic pleasure." "I hope we aren't next." |
| Is that all you got! James thought as he wiggled and shook, spraying the scented water from his fur. "Aw, he's all wet," said the one guard. "I think we need to warm him up girls." Another guard grinned as she removed a tarp from a covered object, revealing a very powerful battery, with some jumper cables connected to it. "Red to the right and black to the left sound okay to you Cindy?" she asked, holding onto the pincers. "Sounds good to me Sally," Cindy said as she walked up to James. "Just let me get him ready before you attach them." She grabbed a hold of James' crotch and began to squeeze it. |
| Suddenly there was a loud CRASH! A powerful Gorilla Man with a machine gun had blown the wall to pieces! "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" The Gorilla screamed "IF I HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANY MORE GIRLS TRYING TO GLOMP ME I'M GONNA FORGET MY GUNS AND JUST START BASHING HEADS!" "Look Girls!" Cindy said "A big cuddly monkey!" Kong shot her in the head she fell on the floor "No one calls an ape a monkey." Kong said. The rest of the girls scrambled out of the way. Kong freed James "If you're wondering how I got here so fast." Kong explained in advance "I parachuted down to the factory all everyone else got ready...I volunteered because I was worried about Bell-Bell." "The White Dragon?" James asked when his mouth was free "Yeah..." Kong said blushing under his black fur "What are you embarrassed about?" James asked "I mean...Reptiles aren't my personal kink but as far as scalies go she is pretty hot." "One thing, you're not native to this universe." Kong said "Second, you were not always a Humanimal...For us Humanimals we have this concept called 'pseudo-incest' because herds or packs of unrelated Humanimals are as close as blood relatives...It is considered indecent to be in love with your 'herd brother' or 'herd sister' being in love with the cubs you knew growing up is like being in love with your own flesh and blood sister it just is not done!" "Then why are you afflicted by it?" James asked "I'm an ape." Kong said with a sigh "Apes are known for their tendency to boink their blood relatives." A tear went down his cheek |
| "Well, It's not like she's your actual sister or some such thing," James said, as the claws on his hands finally cut through their bonds, allowing him to move his arms again. "Alright, I'm going to need some help with the rope around my feet, so quit your bawling or I'll do my impersonation of Charlton Heston from 'Planet of the Apes', the original version." |
| Meanwhile back on the ships. Everyone was ready "OK." Matoaka said "All phasers set to stun? No? Good! All right this may be the most dangerous mission we've ever been on! We might not make it out alive! Any questions?" "I have a question." Ichabod said "OK! Let's go!" Matoaka interjected They parachuted onto the top of the factory, Bill used his bovine strengh to pry a hatch open, everyone went down in. They were not prepared for what they were about to see. Children. Thousands of little Humanimal children locked into cages, all were screaming or bawling or rocking back and forth. "Oh my gods!" Jim said "Who could do this?" "Oh I don't know..." Bob said "Maybe...the Devil?" Jim tried to open a cage that had a terrified little grey squirrel boy in it. "Hey Little Guy." Jim said "What's your name?" "Tipp... Barrington." The grey squirrel said shyly "Don't worry." Jim said "We'll get you out of here!" |
They opened cages until they had an army of Humanimal children which they marched up to the roof to meet with the ship when it sat down. They had most of the children loaded when what Matoaka dreaded most happened. "Fighter ships on the way!" said the pilot. "They will be here in seconds. Should we leave now? We have most of the kids loaded." Matoaka knew if she waited for all the kids to load then she might lose all of them. If she lifted off now she could save 90% of the kids for sure. But what about the kids left behind? |
| "Hold on!" Matoaka said "We've saved most of the children but not teenagers or adults! We have not saved Dulcie or Belladonna yet!" |
| "Haven't heard anything from James either," Bill said, as he checked the com-lines. "The place must be bigger than we thought." |
| "That was just the first level." Edward said "Children are always the last to be cooked because their flesh is very delicate and needs very special care so it is not burnt." Ichabod was curious "How do you know all this?" He asked "My mother took me to a meat factory when I was a small child." Edward said sadly "Even back then seeing Humanimals being cut up for meat sickened me...I guess that was a sign that I was destined to be a sympathizer so my Mother had my conditioning intensified." Matoaka sighed "Edward, Ichabod...You two go further into the factory...find the others. You guys are human does you'll be less likely to set off any alarms." |
They ran to an elevator and dropped to the next level. "There must be an easier way to do this," Ichabod said. Edward pointed at a large display on the far wall. "Look! Isn't that a map of the building!" Sure enough, it was all laid out in a diagram before them, from Recieving to Processing to Skinning to Cooking to Packing to Shipping. "It won't do us any good if they are already cooked, so let's look in Receiving and Processing." They memorized the map and jumped back in the elevator. |
| Meanwhile, James was busy rearming himself from the corpse of a guard he'd killed. "I'm surprised they arm their men with this stuff," he said as he picked up an AK-74. "Most of this stuff was obsolete twenty years ago." "Yeah, but it's cheap and does the job," Kong said, as he tossed the body into an empty room. |
| Kong was feeling much better now that he had told James about his feelings for Belladonna, he could trust James to keep a secret (Or better yet if questioned about it he might not remember even having the conversation) So now the two of them were ready to go on their way) James found a room that said 'Adult Meat' this was where everyone who had already gone through puberty was being held. They opened the door. Inside the room was lined with cages, enormous cages, big enough to hold an elephant, or a dragon. Edward and Ichabod meanwhile were about to find the same room, however someone had spotted them and knocked them out painlessly with gas. When Ichabod woke up, he had no idea where he was, he felt that he was in liquid up to his shoulders. "Edward?" Ichabod said "Edward where are you?" No one answered. Ichabod opened his eyes and looked around. it seemed he was in a lavish bathroom and that he was in a very deep bathtub being soaked in a sweet smelling liquid that was definitely not water." "What is this I'm being soaked in?" Ichabod asked weakly He dipped his finger in the liquid and tasted "Buttermilk?" Now he was confused "Why would I be taking a bath in buttermilk?" Ichabod asked trying to make sense...then it all came together "I'M BEING TENDERIZED!" He immediately got out of the tub, then he realized, he was naked, and their were no clothes in the room to dress in. "Oh geez." Ichabod moaned "How am I going to get out of this one?" |
Meanwhile, the fighter planes were closing in on Matoaka's ship. "Alright, lift off," she said to the pilot. "We'll lose the fighters, circle around, and pick up our boys in the sausage factory." "You make it sound easy," her pilot grumbled. He was a hawk man named Ace and had flown so many missions there was no more room on his sleeves for mission patches. Down in the building Ichabod heard the roar of the spaceship lifting off. "They're leaving me? I'm naked and alone? Things go from worse to more worse." |
| Meanwhile, James and Kong were busy freeing the prisoners they'd come across. "That's fifty-three for me," James said as he bashed the lock on a cage with the butt of his rifle. "What about you?" "Seventy-nine," Kong said as he tore the door off of the one he was dealing with. James turned his head and chuckled. "They just had to put two rabbits in a cage." |
| James' nose twitched "I smell blood." He said "Blood?" Kong asked "I smell it coming from the next room over." James said The two walked over and peeked through the window There was Edward, naked as a jaybird suspended by his wrists while two lovely ladies were whipping his ass with a riding crop. |
James walked in with his rifle pointed at their bellies. "Don't you lovely ladies ever get tired of being brutal masochists? Now, untie my friend and tie each other up in his place." "That's impossible," one of the ladies said. "I mean, we can untie your friend and one of us tie the other up, but we can't both of us tie each other up." "Just do what is possible, ladies," James said, waving the rifle barrel around. "And yes, you can tie each other up. It's a trick I learned in Borneo and I'll be glad to teach it to you." Edward could barely walk so Korg held his arm. "Wait," Edward whispered. "Get the riding crop. I want it for a souvenir." |
| "I'm sorry." Edward said quickly as he shook his head "I don't know what I was saying for a second there! Those two girls really roughed me up...Where is Ichabod?" Kong was worried "He's not with you?" |
Ichabod had found something useful, a clothes closet. He pulled on a janitor's uniform. "At least I'm not naked now!" |
| Ichabod found himself running down a very long hallway, He opened a door that said 'Private Relaxation Room' and inside was a fat little man the chairman of Mix Max "What do we have here?" The Chairman asked with an evil grin "Some little boy escape his bath?" Ichabod gulped nervously and tried to back away. The Chairman grabbed him "We have special punishments for naughty little boys! They have to serve me! The Servant of the Dark One!" The Chairman stripped Ichabod naked and forced him onto the sofa. "And now...For the feast!" The Chairman said as he started to remove his pants revealing a throbbing erection. Just then, the door burst of its hinges! A great white serpent like creature came in sliding on the belly! It was Belladonna she knocked the fat little man off his feet. "Belladonna!" Ichabod exclaimed he got off the sofa and Belladonna blushed under her white scales. Ichabod realized he was naked again and he had shown Bell Bell everything "I'm sorry." He whispered covering himself "I forget you're not like other Humanimals." "That's all right." Belladonna sighed "I often forget myself." |
She grabbed his hand and they hurried down the hallway to the elevator. When the doors opened who was inside but James, Edward, and Kong. "Thank goodness!" Ichabod said. "Yeah!" Kong said. "Now let's get out of here!" "But the spaceship left!" "She'll be back," Kong said. "I know Matoaka. She's too soft-hearted to leave us behind, no matter how dangerous it is." "If it was me in her place," James said, "I would let us find our own way out. There is no sense risking all those kids just to save us." |
| "You're not going to get away that easily!" came the chairman's voice. "I control this place." The group looked, and saw the chairman with what was left of his guards. "You guys get going," James said, rushing towards the guards. "I'll hold them off." |
| The chairman was standing with El Diablo he was rising out of a fountain of smoke and fire. "So...Lone Wolf." The Devil said "What do you say? What do you think of this magnificent business I've created?" "I think you've overstepped your bounds." James said |
"Me?" The Devil said. "Bounds?" Then in a voice like thundewr he roared, "I HAVE NO BOUNDS!" and with each hand he hurled a fireball at James. Well, you can dodge one fireball but it's mighty hard to dodge two. James patted out the flames on his fur from the fireball that didn't miss by much. The smell of singed wolf hair filled the room. If you've ever burned a wolf then you know how awful that can smell. The Devil roared out his trademarked madman laugh, the deep throaty one that makes your kneebones vibrate. "Ah, James, if there is anyone I like to fight, it is you! It takes a few seconds longer but it's so much fun!" |
| "You think that a little heat bothers me," James said, as he put out the last flame. "My kitchen's hotter than you." "Maybe, but I am all powerful," the Devil said. "Well, you don't have the guts to fight me as a mortal." "What?" "You heard me- I challenge you to fight me as a mortal!" |
| The Devil changed himself into a Wolf Man, he snarled at James Suddenly a big booming voice and a heavenly glow appeared "THIS SHALL NOT CONTINUE." A Voice said deliberately talking in all caps "YOU EL DIABLO..." |
The Devil snarled and clawed at the sky. "Stay out of this, Old Man!" For an answer he received a thunderbolt right to his snout, which he grabbed while yelling curses at the sky. "CEASE AND DESIST! boomed the Big Voice. "NO FIGHTING ALLOWED!" |
| "He would have to interfere," James said, looking at the Devil. "I don't think He'd enjoy a good fight." "Been that way ever since I was cast into Hell," the Devil said. "Always ruins my fun." "Seriously, all that's at stake is who would win in a fight between you and me- there's nothing about me taking over Hell, or you taking my soul, right?" "Yeah, just a friendly little fight- nothing at stake." "ALRIGHT," the voice said with a loud sigh. "HOWEVER, I SHALL REFEREE. NO CHEATING ALLOWED!" "Got it," James and the Devil said simultaneously. "SECOND, BOTH OF YOU WILL HAVE TO WEAR PINK TUTUS." "WHAT!" "IT'S THAT OR NO FIGHT." |
| The Spaceship came back down, Kong, Edward, and Ichabod were waiting for Matoaka with the rest of the prisoners. "Ichabod!" Matoaka exclaimed "What on Earth happened to your clothes?!" "Even I do not know." Ichabod said sadly |
"And where is James?" "He'll be here soon, I think." Matoaka put her hands on her hips. "Well everybody get on board. I want to blast off the instant James gets here." There was a lot of giggling as Ichabod climbed aboard. Meanwhile, James and El Diablo were tangling in tutus. "You fight like a girl," James said. El Diablo was not amused. |
| "So says the wolf wearing a dress," he muttered. "You're a wolf at the moment, and you're wearing one of these things." "I'd rather be wearing a ninja outfit- easier for fighting." "No argument on that." "How about a temporary truce and we go after Him?" "Hmm, sounds good to me." "Good- no fighting until after we beat some sense into Him right?" "I'm good with that." |
| After the problem of the Mix Max factory was distracted. Belladonna Starchild found Donatello. "Oh Donny!" Belladonna said weeping on his shoulder "I will marry you! Life is so short! Who knows when it will end next!" The End! |
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