Circle Story - Writing.Com

To the Princess Bound (Kindle)
A gentle healer chained to a terrified princess by cruel decree. Bestselling P/N Romance

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[Introduction] Have you ever done circle stories, where one person writes a sentence, then the next person does, and so on and so forth? Well that's what I'm doing here.

You may add up to three sentences but they should(no matter how vaguely) relate to the sentence(s) before it. Please keep everything 13+ or below.

Now accepting new members. Please request an invite.

This image was created by Laart1-Season of the Heart

Since it was inspired by this campfire, I'll post it here.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Here is the first prompt.

I knew I shoudn't have done it, but I did it anyway.

I just couldn´t keep my fingers off his toupe´.

Mel

It looked so soft that I just had to touch it.

I went to stroke it, and I accidentally knocked it off.

I froze. To my utter horror I saw the most terrifying sight I had ever seen.

Mel

Where the toupe' used to be, there was an eye staring back at me.

It grew out of a stem and had little tentacles coming out of it.

It was bloodshot and kept winking at me. When I was able to speak again, I asked- WHAT IS THAT THING????

Mel

He turned to me and explained calmly it was his twin or what was left of his twin.

"You see," he said. "There was a freak accident."

" One day we were out walking, minding our own business and talking, when out of nowhere it just fell out of the sky. We couldn´t believe our eyes".

Mel

My eyes were wide open as he explained, "What was it," I asked.
"It looked like a frisbee, but it had some sort of power," he said.

It was headed right toward him. He couldn't back away.

It seemed like it was chasing him. As it came closer, I threw myself on him to get him to the ground.

He didn't understand what I was doin'. He flipped me over his head and both our heads were together when the frisbee thing hit.

I lost consciousness for a moment or two. When I awoke, I could hear a buzzing noise and there was a sharp chemical smell in the air.

Mel

I tried to sit up, but I was pulled back down by my head. That's when I realized what happened to us.

His entire body disintegrated. There was nothing left but his one eye and some nerve endings.

So to keep it warm, I held it closely to my feverish head, in hope that it might do some kind of good.

I thought it would wither and die. Instead, it flourished and now, we who were two - are one. Aren't we cute?

After he finished his explanation of the eye-thing on his head, I just stood there, thinking. It wasn't the kind of story I could possibly believe, and yet, there was that damn eye growing out of the top of his head. I thought to myself, this is exactly why they say that truth is stranger than fiction.

Mel

After a minute of silence, I apologized about accidently knocking off his toupe. He seemed to have forgotten all about it, because his face was not calm like it used to be, but angry. "No one knows about my twin, but you," he growled.

All of a sudden, two stereotypical secret agents came out of nowhere.

And started to dance a very strange jig.

"We are the men in black. We're back. Move it now, move it now, to the left, to the right, hit it now..."

"I'm the man on the left, he's the man on the right,
We sing in stereo all thru the night.
We came out of nowhere and we'll never go back.
We're the stereotypical secret agents who dress in black."

Mel

When they finished their song, the one on the right pulled out an object that looked like a pen. I wasn't going to stick around to see what it did, so I got up and attempted to run.

The pen shot out an oozing slime that held me to the ground.

And squirted straight into my brothers eye.

Sussenly the eye started to chane shape. It grew longer and swirled like an image in a funhouse mirror.

There was a moment while I feared for my sanity, then it was too late. My mind fragmented and I forgot my own name, completely lost my sense of self. Did I have a brother and was I talking to an eye or was I an eye or was eye talking to me and who were the twins in black? Aye, carumba...

Mel

The men in black appeared to be surprised by the change in the eye and pulled out another pen. The new pen shot out lightning and hit the eye again. The eye popped off his twin's head and began to transform into a person.

"I am Lieutenant Ri'Par." The person said. Hey, isn't that the guy on VH1's Totally Obsessed who acks like a Klingon? I thought.

And in that very same moment, I started to doubt my sanity.

Had the click of a pen shoved me into some alternate reality? The eye continued it's transformation. Clearer and clearer until finally there was a mirror image of me, myself and I.

When I looked in the mirror there seemed to be someone standing behind me. Lieutenant Ri'Par? I whirled around, but there was nothing there but a little cloud of irridescent dust that gently fell to the ground like glowing snowflakes.

Mel

All of a sudden, the room started to change. It became smaller and a table and 4 chairs appeared.

On the table was some KFC chicken. Or was it chicken?

It tasted like chicken, but I wasn´t sure.

Taste can be deceptive. What is sweet to me could be sour to you. What was real? What was illusion? I no longer knew.

Then I noticed the small paper cup of honey-mustard sauce sitting beside what appeared to be chicken. It just HAD to be chicken. Besides, I was suddenly feeling very hungry.

Mel

I sat down and started eating the chicken illusion when I thought, it would be nice to have a television in here to watch a few shows I was missing. Then, on the wall, appeared a plasma television. I couldn't be happier, I thought.

Then a bunch of bunnies came onto the screen. They hopped out of the TV and into my lap.

Now I realised that there was something very fishy about that honey-mustard sauce, and that I was probably the victim of some terrible conspiracy.

But what kind of conspiracy? And who was gonna get rid of all the rabbits? So many questions. So few answers.

I realized that I would need help, professional help - not a psychiatrist but a private detective. The first one in the phone book was Ace Adams, Private Investigator ("We will investigate ANYTHING!"). He sounded perfect.

Mel

I dialed his number on the phone that appeared on the wall. "Ace Adams, at your service," the person answered. "Yes, I need an investigator to investigate the strange happenings that have been going on in my head recently. Can you help me?"

"But of course!" He said cheerfully in a German accent. "Now, explain in detail what has been going on."

After I gave him all the strange details, he shouted- "Now THIS IS MY KIND OF CASE!!! Come to my office tomorrow at 8am, and bring your brother". Well, I thought, It would be kind of hard not to.

However, I consulted with my brother, which is to say that I mentally communicated with him my intentions and away I went to meet Ace.

I sat the basket of bunnies on Ace's desk and took off my hat. "So vut iz your problem?" said Ace.

Mel

"Well, I need you to investigate what needs to be investigated. What that is, I'm not sure of, though."

"We must investigate everything! I'll bring in my best experts on such cases." He whistled and in came some...

...more bunnies. Now I KNEW that I was loosing my mind.

I recoiled in horror. It was the same nightmare, happening again. The only thing that was different was the location.

Ace saw my frazzled expression. "Relax, Boobskie," he said. "These are special anti-bunnies. They'll cancel out your bunnies and then you will be bunny-free."

Mel

To my horror, the bunnies started to multiply. I knew I had to get out of his office. I found the door through all the bunnies and made it outside, only to be trapped in some sort of cage.

Except it wasn't really a cage. It was made out of a strange light that formed a cage. I tried to break through, but it was like rubber, bouncing me back.

I sat down and started to cry.

As I wept, I noticed that tears were raining down on me from above. It was my brother weeping with me in sympathy for all that was now happening to me.

I heard a strange sizzling noise and the cage of light began to flicker. Our tears were shorting it out. There was a loud whoomp! and a shower of sparks and the cage was gone.

Mel

When I ran to the exit, there were two doors there instead of one. I opened the first door and it looked like the same street I came in through, but when I opened the second door it looked like a whole other world. I heard Ace shouting and running toward me.

"Whatever you do," he said, "don't go through the..."

"second door!" It was already too late. A blinding flash of light hit me in the eyes, and all of a sudden I saw it. OH MY GOD!!!

It was like the movie "The Night of the Lepus." Rabbits bigger than houses were everywhere. And they didn't look cute anymore.

I felt a hand grab my arm and yank me back through the door. It was Ace. "How am I going to help you if you keep running away?" he asked.

Mel

"So, you're really on my side," I asked, breathlessly. He nodded and told me to go into his office. "The rabbits are gone now," Ace informed me.

He said I could proceed out into the world and all would be normal. I walked out the forst door, and for a while, everything was normal.

Or so it seemed, there was something in the air though that I couldn´t quite put my finger on. All of a sudden my Brother´s eye started blinking fuiously and made a strange kind of squeechy sound.

I had this wild desire to rub my brother's eye, as if it were hayfever season and farmers were cutting hay. This seeemed silly to me as afterall it was my brother's eye and not my own. But it really itched.

Then it hit me. A squeechy noise! My brother's first words since the 'accident'! He was learning to speak again.

Mel

It was so noisy outside that I couldn't hear exactly what he was trying to say. I decided I needed to go somewhere quiet.

I ran into an alley and somehow ended up in a large field.

I stopped and stood very still and listened. I couldn´t make out what he was trying to say, and thought that maybe I had been wrong about him trying to speak, when all of a sudden I understood! He was squeeching the Morse Code!!!

The translation, while it took some time for me to figure out properly, was; "Hep me, hep me, heeeeeep meeeeeeee....."

Gee, the poor little guy. For the first time I realized how frustrating it must be for him to have been reduced to just an eye and some nerve endings and a little squeechy noise. Maybe it would be better for both of us if I had him surgically removed.

Mel

None of these strange things would've happened if it weren't for that object in the sky. I kept this secret for so long. It is time for me to be separated from my brother!

I only had one question: Who would perform such an operation?

In the next instant, a freak wind started to blow and a magazine flew straight into my face. On the cover was a picture of the famous but very controversial eye surgeon Dr Hank N. Stein MD. I knew it was a sign.

Dr. Hank N. Stein was noted for great success with Siamese twins. I figured what have I got to loose? I called and they booked me in staright away when they heard about my dilema.

The operation was over in a flash. Snip, snip, then my head was in bandages. They attached my brother to a dog named Poochie. I guess you could say Poochie became a seeing eye dog.

Mel

Now that my brother was no longer attached to my head, I had more freedom than ever! I could wear hats and helmets. Maybe I would do what I always wanted to do.

I could become an actor, something I'd always wanted to do, but didn't due to fear of someone discovering my brother.

While I was pondering all that I could do in my new found freedom, my eyes began to blur, and suddenly everything became dark. I realised that I was going blind, my hands reached out into the darkness and I felt two soft paws on my thighs. It was Poochie.

Poochie nuzzled me as I buried my head in his fur. He was so soft and smelled so clean. Then a strange thing happened.

My vision came back. Maybe I wasn't going blind, maybe it was some passing illness, but I resolved to keep Poochie near me at all times. After thinking long about what to do with my life, I decided that first I would need some money, preferably a lot of it.

Mel

I decided I would look on the internet for some job listings. I went to the library and signed up for a computer. The librarian said I couldn't have Poochie with me, so I had to leave him outside.

While I was in the library, something very strange happened to Poochie.

He started to jump up and down at every passerby, pretending to be just your ordinary friendly dog, when in fact he was picking their pockets. I think it was my brother´s way of telling me that we should rob a bank.

Joan

Poochie danced and did tricks that amazed even me. There was a small crowd when I got out of the library. Suddenly there was a very tall guy pleading sell Poochie.

Sell Poochie - how could I sell Poochie. I knew in my heart that if I sold Poochie I would not only lose my brother but possible lose my sight again. Besides, he was doing such a great job of getting money.

I was explaining to the tall man for the third time why I couldn't sell Poochie when I heard Poochie yelp. I whirled around in time to see a short man stuffing Poochie into a black Mercedes sedan. Naturally, I ran to help Poochie, but the Mercedes sped away with tires squealing and I could only listen to Poochie's sad little bark fade away into the distance.

Mel

I had to get Poochie back, I thought! I decided to go to the police station and see if they could help me. When I got there, I told them what happened and gave the description of the Mercedes and the license plate number to the police officer.

They looked the license plate # on the database. "Ah, I know that guy well." The cop said.

" He´s the one that says POOCHIE in every sentance, at least once. He must be infatuated."

Joan

"Wonder what they will do to him. I can't bear to think about it." It has been 24 hours hours and still no word.

My brain kept flashing me hideous images of poochie and my brother in a small, dark, cold place. Once I took my head out if the freezer, it changed to a small, dark, hot place.

At 3AM I got a phone call from Detective Curry. "We've located them, but there is a problem."

Mel

"Poochie appears to want to stay with him. We've tried to get a hold of Poochie and he just growls at us," Detective Curry explained. I tried to think of a reason why Poochie and my brother would not want to come home with me, but I couldn't think of one.

Then it hit me: It was the detective trying to get Poochie, not me. I decided I'd better go with Detective Curry to get Poochie.

We arrived at an old junkyard about a half an hour later. Poochie was tied to a rusty old truck, he was foaming at the mouth, growling and his eyes were rolling around in his head. I knew what had happened, they had drugged him to try to get information but the drug must have somehow backfired.

Joan

"Thank goodness you are alright,Poochie." He remembers me and after being untied he runs anxiously to me.

Instantly the flow of communication between my brother, Poochie and me started. A psychic scream ran through my brain like a thunder bolt. Poochie's humiliation and my brother's were extreme. Terrible indignities had been endured.

For a moment I was speechless while the flow of horrible images streamed through my brain. It must have seemed strange to Detective Curry to see the dog and I just standing there staring at each other, but he only said, "Is everything all right now?"

Mel

"Yes, everything is fine. I need to take him home so he can rest," I responded to Detective Curry. I couldn't tell him about the horrific images just yet.

Poochie whimpered the whole way home. I couldn't even look at him w/o thinking of those horrific images. Poor Poochie.

Visions of sugar plums danced through his head.

Joan

He was thinking about those dog biscuits I would bring him. When he got home he ran for the water cup and dinner tray.

Then he looked back up at me in dismay. I knew it was Poochie's favorite meal in the bowl. But it certainly was not my brother's. His look of reproach melted my heart.

I spooned out some cold lasagna and heated it in the microwave. Poochie gobbled it up and I could feel my brother's grateful thanks like a warm campfire in the campground of my mind. There was a letter waiting for me under the mailslot in the front door so I opened it.

Mel

It was from the doctor that separated me and Poochie. In the letter, he explained that there may have been side effects that came with the operation and if I had any questions, to call his direct line.

Well, for a while, everything was fine. Then I started to have some pain in the back of my head.

So I called Dr Stein to ask him about the side effects that he had written to me about. He asked me if I had been feeling OK, so I told him about the pain I´d been having. He went quiet and then all of a sudden let out a moan..."OH NO!! That´s what I was afraid of! You´d better come to my office right away!".

Joan

"Oh, Doctor, What is it?"I asked. " Am I going to amke it through without lot of pain."

The pain is a driect result of the separation of you and yor brother. Had we opened your head for any other reason, there would have been no pain. We may very well have to do a reversal.

A reversal! That didn't sound pleasant. "Are there any alternatives?" I asked.

Mel

"Well, there may be one, but you have to come to my office for me to explain it," Dr. Stein replied. "I'll be right over," I hung up the phone and rushed over to his office. "Come into this room. No one will be able to hear what I have to say in here," he said as he led me to a room.

"Did you bring your brother with you?" he asked. I said I didn't. "Go back home and get him. He needs to hear this too."

So I left. When I got home Poochie was gone, his leash had been chewed through and the door was wide open. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a small movement next to his water bowl, OH MY GOD, IT WAS MY BROTHER !

Joan

"Oh, brother. What have you doen now? Just when I need you you go away."

I didn't know if I should scream for my brother or for Poochie. The pain in my head became like searing bolts of lightening. It was so bad that I couldn't stand it anymore and I passed out.

I woke up praying that it had all been a dream. At that point, I don't think I was in my right mind. To forget my troubles, I sliced a grapefruit in half, carefully loosened all the wedges with a sharp knife, sprinkled sugar over each juicy half, then settled down with a small spoon to enjoy my little citrus diversion.

Mel

After I finished my snack, I started to look for my brother. I looked all over, but couldn't find him, so I called the doctor and let him know what happened.

"Ah," he says. "It seems that Poochie's body has rejected your brother. Bring you and your brother to my office immediately."

So I bent down and carefully picked up the eye next to Poochies water bowl, unintentionally dripping grapefruit juice all over it. It started twitching and turning. I think my brother was trying to tell me something.

Joan

"Gee! What are you trying to say? I want to understand and can't. How frustrating is that?

Meanwhile they climb in the vehicle and go to the doctors'. Poochie was literally in and out. He was there on minute and somewhere else the next.

Entering the dr's office I held the twitching eye that was my brother, in my right hand. I kept hoping against hope that my brother would say something I could actually understand. Just then the dr. came out of his office and my brother's twitching became frantic.

"Look here," said Dr Stein. "If you are going to insist on keeping your brother near you all the time, then I might as well reattach him to you. I could put him somewhere on you where no one would notice him."

Mel

"Like where doctor," I asked, thinking this may be a good idea, but just then, my brother started to react in a way that I knew he would not want to be attached again.

He was turning and turning rapidly in my hand, like a marble on acid or something, and he was
blinking at me rapidly and I knew he was upset.
I didn't know what to do, so I said," Oh, that's okay, Doctor. I think he likes life better this
way." The Doctor grunted and turned away from me.He then urged me to think about it again.
I thought well, mabe someplace inconspicuous, like
where people get tattoos. Maybe my inner thigh,
or my left breast.

Then my brother's twitching got even more frantic. Then he did something I really didn't expect. He wrapped his nerve endings around the doctor, tying him to the chair.

"Oh my god bro!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???" I screamed. The Dr looked a little disturbed but wasn´t in any kind of panic. "I think we need to bring an eye psychologist into this" he exclaimed.

Joan

"Well, looks like we have a problem or two," said the eye psychologist. "Doc, are you alright, will get things right as soon as we can.

The twitching of the opthamologist could have been a response for him or a response from my brother tightening the nerve endings. The eye psychologist looked closely at my brother and then asked, "Is it that you want a body of your own?"

An eyeball doesn't have a wide range of expressions to communicate with, but no one doubted that my brother's vigorous up and down nodding meant: "Yes! Please give me another body to atttach to!"

My feelings were a little hurt that he didn't want to ride between my thighs, but I realized his view there would be very limited unless I left my fly open and that wasn't something that I could do and remain socially acceptable, not that I was all that popular anyway, but I didn't want to lose the little bit of popularity that I had. "How about a hamster?" I suggested.

Mel

He didn't seem to like that idea. We suggested so many animals, but he appeared to only be excited at the thought of being on a snake, which is what the psychologist suggested. "Can you attach my brother to a snake," I asked, not sure if I wanted to bring a snake with me everywhere I went.

The doctor rubbed his chin as though thinking.
"Ya know," he said, "that just might work out,
if we get an animal that near to our size."
He paused and thought again. Then as if he had seen a bright ray of light somewhere, he asked "How about a large monkey. Not a Great Ape,
but a monkey you could hang onto and who could hang onto you. a Chimp of some sort."
"Do you really think that world work," I asked,
somewhat excitedly. I was wondering where we
might get that Chimp when the doctor, who seemed
to be deep in thought while gazing out the window,
told me the answer.

"There's a whole bunch of chimps that escaped from the zoo last night!"

I had no idea how to catch a chimp, let alone how to take care of one. I was wondering if you might need some kind of license for keeping a wild animal at home. The last thing I wanted was to see my brother end up locked behind bars in a Zoo.

Joan

This was a lot to think about but for my brother I will do anything. "How long do we have before it will be too late to think about that direction?"

The doctor runbbed his chin some more and pndered my question. After another look at my brother and noting the dejected look, he answered, "about a half an hour."

He opened one of the many wall lockers lining the walls of his office and pulled out a pair of nylon running shorts and a matching tank top, both with a grey camouflage pattern. "Urban camouflage," said Dr Stein, "so the chimps can't see you."

Mel

"I have to go catch it," I asked, shocked. "Well, yes," said Dr. Stein, "I have patients to take care of and I don't see how an eye psychologist could possibly capture a chimp." I nodded, knowing what I had to do.

I kept my brother with me as I went to the wooded
area near the zoo. I walked for hours and hours,
until nightfall, and suddenly something dropped
from a tree and landed in front of me. At exactly
the same time my brother, who had been in my pocket, began to move. Obviously this chimp and
my brother were meant for each other.

Then they looked into each other's eyes and started to do the tango. I called the eye psychologist and told him I'd be over with the chimp right away. But when I tried to stop their tango...

...they started to dance the same strange jig that the men in black had done, the secret agents that we had encountered in the beginning. I shivered.

Joan

Oh, no! Not again. When is this going to stop.

Fortunately, it did stop when my brother attached himself to the chimp's head. I shook the chimp's hand. "Nice going, bro. I thought we'd need major surgery for that."

Mel

"Do you happen to remember the way out of here," I asked him. He nodded and pointed in the direction that we needed to go. When we were out of the woods, I figured we had to find some place that could teach us sign language.

But no such luck. At the edge of woods, at the
very urban path we had followed in, there was an
enitely new vista. Trees and desert and strange
animals playing. I looked at my brother, the
chimp, they motioned for me to follow them.

A rooster snuck up behind me and started playing the violin. Then he whacked me in the head with it.

"That´s some strong Rooster" I said to myself. "I wonder if he has ever considered playing proffessional baseball?".

Joan

Where is the world are we? Strange surroundings, I must say. I guess I will have a huge bump on my head.

The rooster started playing a very sad song on the violin and I fought back the urge to cry. "Ah, little brother," I said to the chimp. "Life is strange and sweet, is it not?"

Just then a frog jumped out of no where and said,"What's so strange about it? Rrrrrooooookkkk,"
As he hopped onto my foot,I noticed that he was
also carrying a violin.

The frog and the rooster started playing Old Macdonald Had A Farm on their violins. But instead of describing his animals, Old Macdonald had a...

Joan

an instrument like a guitar. I always wanted to play one. I always wanted to play the banjo.

Alas, banjo playing is an art, And one I certainly had no skill for. I pulled out a pair of spoons instead. With a skill I did not know I had - I started playing Pachabel's Cannon in D minor.

The frog and the rooster put down their violins and stared at me. "Oh! Sorry!" I said. How could I ignore them and just play anything I wanted?

Once I apologized, the frog and the rooster started playing again. All of a sudden a
black Mercedez drove by, and this time Poochie and the bunnies were hanging out the windows, attracted no doubt by the violins. Nobody wanted to hear the Pachabel Cannon anymore, even if it was close to Easter.

Saved Star

Suddenly I wished that the violins would just stop. I wanted people to hear Pachabel Cannon. It was close Easter. I had a plan.

I'd have to smash them. All I needed was something heavy to drop on them that wouldn't hurt the animals. Where would I find something like that?

OT: From here on out, I will be strict with the three day rule. If you don't post within three days, you will be skipped.

Joan

Suddenly the animals were distracted by insects that were pretty weird. There was no need to smash them. In fact there was silence.

The insects were about 12" long with silver wings that had patches of red. The body was in 3 parts and blue. The eyes bulged.

Not being an entomologist, I quickly lost interest in the insects. I sat humming to myself quietly for a few seconds, then (thank God!) I remembered that Poochie and the bunnies had driven by in a black Mercedes. I started running down the highway in the direction they had taken.

I ran and ran, but I could not find them. Then I realized I couldn't find by brother either, and if the frog and the rooster had stopped playing because of those stupid bugs, how would I ever find anybody again. I sat down on the side of the road. I howled as loud as I could. No answer. I howled again. Either there was an echo (on the highway?) or I was hearing things I wanted to hear and not hearing things I didn't want to hear (an often pulled trick of some people I know). I howled again. My howl was
returned! What the...

Saved Star

I was surprised, but just to make sure, I howled again. And guess what? It was returned.

I decided to go and find the source of this return howl. It seemed to be coming from...

Joan

behind me. Why would it be coming from that way?
In the east was some sheep a baaa.....

Can sheep howl? I pondered this thought scratching my head as I wandered in the direction of the source.hhhmmmhhmmmnnnn sheep - baaaa
- Oh no! What was falling out of my hair as I scratched and pondered?

At first I thought they were little tiny tiny sheep, because they were so small and white. Then I'm thinking like - dandruff?! But I use an expensive cream rinse shampoo!

Mel

Perhaps the shampoo was not as strong as I thought. I'm sticking with Head & Shoulders next time. Wait, no this stuff wasn't dandruff, it was...

some white particles of something like Ivory Snow that my brother and the monkey and bought to me.
I think they were trying to tell me if we followed the trail of the Ivory Snow we could find out way out of here. The Mercedes with the bunnies went passed but was going in the opposite direction.

This sounds like Hansel and Gretel, I thought. But since I didn't have much of a choice but to follow the trail, I followed it and...

Came upon enormous gingerbread droppings. I began to wonder if the rumours about a gingerbread bigfoot might indeed be be true.

Joan

Well, I thought I would test it out and sure enough it was ginger. In fact, the Ivory Snow stopped at the end of the trail in a beautiful clearing that looked like fantasy land.

My eyes bulged as I gazed out at the fairies, dragons, elves, and rainbows. Then they started to bulge even further and I realised that I was bulging because I couldn't breathe.

I quickly pulled my hand away from my mouth and took a deep breath. Ever since I was a teenager and got into the habit of screaming "Omigod!" and clamping my hand over my mouth I have had this little suffocation problem.