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December Abuse Newsletter
The subject of recovery for survivors is very seldom talked about. What happens after you leave? How do you go about picking up the pieces of your shattered life and emotions after leaving an abusive situation?
Change is alway difficult even if it's a change for the better. We get used to living one way even though it is in a bad relationship, we are used to that. The adjustments we must make in our daily living once we leave are huge! We feel overwhelmed and sometimes we give up and go back to our abuser.
It's important that we don't get to feeling so overwhelmed and scared. We can leave and make our own decisions, we can be free, we just have to take one day at a time and get through it! Once you leave or have left each day will start to look brighter, the fear may still be there, but you have made the first step to freedom to be yourself.
Now is the time to look at the dreams you used to have or still have and see if thats what you still want. Make a list of goals, let your imagination run wild! You once dreamed of being free from abuse, it happened. Believe in yourself and follow your heart.
If a problem seems to big, break it down into little chunks..and deal with it a little at a time. If you need help ask for it.
After enduring years of abuse, possibly years of negative input toward us, our thought patterns become stuck in believing its true. We learned to do what the abusor wanted in order to protect ourselves from further abuse. Those survival mechanisms and thought patterns got us through and they are still with us. They don't automatically leave once we leave. We need to rewire our brains to act positively to daily events and to ourselves. We no longer need to apologize for things that aren't our fault, or blame ourselves for others behavior.
Make sure you break the cycle and don't let it happen to you again. Remember YOU LEFT HIM, Remember WHY you left him and get on with your day!
Being in an abusive relationship strips us of all our self confidence, makes us feel worthless and unattractive. We need time to heal and reclaim ourselves. By dreaming and planning we assert our own importance and define our rights to have what we want. By helping ourselves, by healing ourselves we can help others that need our support with love.
I'm sure there are so many still in abusive situations, that feel that they have no hope but thats what this group is for. Some refuse to try for freedom, others are just plain scared to reach out but I promise you that if you will just touch your fingertips with any of us here in this group by dropping any one of us a short note we will listen and be there for you. Please don't be so scared that you won't speak of it to no one. We would not endanger you for the world as we only care about you having someone to talk with, to be free if only with words. Maybe later you will walk in the sunshine and take that first step away from an abusive relation. Its your choice...
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