The Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. has been shut down by the board of health. In a surprize move, the director of the Red House Board of Health, Jimbo Whinnery, issued the following statement: Due to numerous and flaggrant violations to the health code of the town of Red House, Mississippi, and to the health threats they pose, I had no options but to close The Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. indefinitely. We hope they can correct the violations and restore the company to the healthy status it enjoyed when it first opened (with one additional owner). This action, taken by my department, has no connection to the long dispute I have had with the owners, who are my cousins, that I was cheated out of a share of the company. Instead, I wish them good luck in correcting the violations and am willing to assist them in re-opening our company.
Jimbo Whinnery.

TO VIEW ALL THE LETTERS AND RESPONSES, GO TO "Whine & Cheese Co. Letters N0. 1" , "Whine & Cheese Co. Letters No 2"  or "Whine & Cheese Co. Letters No 3" .

COMPLAIN, GRIPE AND GRUMBLE

Write your best complaint and win points. When you enter your complaint, there will be a response from the Customer Care Department. You may then respond to the CCD's letter. The funniest complaint or follow-up letter will win 25,000 points. There will be up to 5 honorable mentions at 1000 points.

So, get your complaints ready for the Customer Care Department of The Whine & Cheese Company, Inc and sent them to Bubba, Head Customer Care Whiner. Deadline is December 29.

See the instructions below.


Whinningly yours,
Jim, Head Whiner

WHINE & CHEESE COMPANY, INC.
Leave Your Message in the Tin Can by the big Oak Tree.
or
If you online, tuck it under my keyboard so Bubba can type it into my email and I kin read it on the computer
Telephone: 1 long and 2 short rings on the party line
or tell the operator # 32

Welcome to our Customer Care Department

If you got a complaint or a whine, you've come to the right place. If you don't have a complaint, you've still come to the right place. Just make up one!

1. Your whining and complaining may be factual, but that does not mean our reply will be! If it is factual, we prefer that you add "stuff" to disguise it and make it humorous.
2. Please do not slam anyone, however, if you do, do it unoffensively, and without identifiying the offending person either by name, handle or description.
3. Feel free to slam yourself by name, handle, descripton and/or photo.
4. You may slam me, just make sure it's funny and underserved. Of course, it's always underserved from my totally unbiased perspective.
5. Please post your complaint on the forum. Do not put it in your portfolio and only link it to the forum.
6. Do not use an item you have already written. The complaint nees to be a new one.

Who gives a flying rip if your complaint makes sense or not? Nobody! The real point of this is poke fun at yourself and in the process to enjoy it.

If you cannot laugh at yourself, you got real problems.

RECOMMENDED READING

ID: 292680   (Rated: ASR) Miss Ethel: Chapter 1  Story of southern black and white boys who formed a relationship. by Writer of the Winds

ID: 303284   (Rated: 13+) Whine & Cheese Co. Letters N0. 1  Letters written to The Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. and the responses. by Writer of the Winds

ID: 303304   (Rated: 13+) Whine & Cheese Co. Letters No 2  Volume 2 of Letters to The Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. by Writer of the Winds

ID: 307638   (Rated: 13+) Whine & Cheese Co. Letters No 3  Volume 3 of Letters to The Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. by Writer of the Winds