You sure do need to talk. You are in total shock,trauma,disbeleif,pain sufferring.
I am so sorry for you and your family.
I am from a family of six girls, and of course I love them all, but my sister Greta and i were the closest. We were a year and two days apart. I am one year older than her.
Since it was such a busy house, Greta was not only my sister, She was my best friend, I was always watching out for her when we were growing up. Greta was very outgoing as a child.We shared everything. On December 24, 2003 Greta age 42 was DX: with cancer, adenocarcinma. By that time it was stage 4 (end stage, care and comfort no cure). It was in her lungs, liver brain lympphe nodes and bones. For 18 long, long , long days I watched her slowly disapear. It felt like someone was slowley stabbing me in the stomach. On January 9,2004, Greta was able to sign her DNR (do not resecitate, no vent, no CPR, just pass away in peace). The next morning Greta passed away at 11:00 am, very quietly, peacefully and brave.Our Father, oldest sister, her husband and best friend were by her side when she went. I was so relieved she was no longer in pain. Then the trauma sets in, I cried every were. I always felt sorry when people lost a love one to cancer. But to live ithrough it, changes your whole perspective on life. It has been 3 years I miss her so much. But now I can finally feel joy, and enjoy thinking about her. I have now learned to live with it, but I will never forget her. I am so sorry , that you are going through this.And keep talking about her, to the ones who care and will listen.
God Bless valerie