I knew the minute they brought the bouncing little baby in my house. I knew within his eyes he was longing to be loved. He was an adorable baby of nine months old. He had deep chocolate eyes and curly black hair. It didn't matter the race. We looked at him in a longing to love him.

He was a great natured baby, but there was a deep sadness that still lurked in those big brown eyes. It made me want to cry. Something missing, and something I'd never really encountered until he was there in my house.

I took him and his sister that was eleven. When I looked at her I saw the same longing in her eyes to have someone really care about them. Yes, it took hours of time and attention to make them feel really a part of our family.

Trips to see their real mom were however strained between both parties. In time as I looked upon this mother I saw deep wounds and scars of her past. I prayed for her often, but still recieved bad news of troubles she was doing on her own.

Sadness and loss is a part of life. People that look like they have so much potential can easily, be sucked into a victim society and never return to life that they could attain; given the chance.

Some things were very hard to go through to tell the truth. There were deep roots of fear and abandonment.

I look back on the years that I both laughed and cryed, because it is getting involved with all your heart. I don't regret doing foster care for a minute, but I do regret the things you try to make a change and the change never comes.

Katie, the older sister had been through a lot of stuff before she came to my house. We always tried to get her to see that she was being helped by us, but all she could see was how we took her away from her family and friends.

There are good things: we ended up adopting the boy and he's my right hand man, my helper. When I 'm feeling down there no other person that can make me feel better than Brandon. He's a rare treasure that was brought to me and I love him and would not be the same without him.

Katie, she had always wanted to live with some of her blood relatives and I don't blame her. She is also very precious to me.

These kid's were my first babies now and forever though I physically had three more. They will all be my babies.