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The Abyss
Oh crap, let me out! LET ME OUT!!! |
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Same Weird Stuff, new weird title. Miscellaneous ramblings of demented minds - and those who want their brains bent a little funny. Read, post, be silly. Rules:  There are no rules. See the First Rule Ignore the warning at the bottom: WritingML WILL be processed. ...If there are no rules, why am I writing this?>>DANGER! INVALID LOGIC LOOP DETECTED. TERMINATING... >>... >>... >>... >>TERMINATION SEQUENCE ACTIVE. BRACE FOR SHOCKWAVE... Kieve's brain goes into nuclear meltdown and explodes... |
I already connected testicles with walnuts so cashews have been spared the indignity. That said, banana-walnut muffins are too damn good to fall before such corrupt mental imagery. And now I'm hungry for a bowl of mixed nuts... -- ΚΙΣVΣ  3:04am, 01-02-2013 Corrupt mental imagery can make you hungry. It's the only way the world's supply of whipped cream could ever be consumed. Nobody eats that stuff with an empty mind. -- Steve Ellen  12:20pm, 01-02-2013 I never had a hangover. I drank lots of water. Just didn't eat much and got lots of exercise. hehe -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC  10:38am, 01-04-2013 Weight is such a difficult thing to lose. Every time you misplace it, it somehow manages to find you again. Like that little orphan kid I keep leaving at the bus stop, only to have him turn up at my door... -- ΚΙΣVΣ 12:00pm, 01-04-2013 So true...as for orphans, you need to take them at least 48 miles away to ensure they don't find you again. Just so you know. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 1:31pm, 01-04-2013 I always thought it'd be fun to put one on a Ferris wheel, then watch them freak out when the ride ends and I'm not there. -- Singular Scribbler 4:13pm, 01-04-2013 I used to think you were evil. Now I realize you have transcended that category. -- Steve Ellen 5:14pm, 01-04-2013 I don't know, I think I agree with SS. That would be funny as hell. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 2:07pm, 01-05-2013 But if you're not there, how can you watch them? Transcendent evil needs a better name. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 6:26am, 01-07-2013 We all need a better name, but better the name you already have than no name at all. On the other hand, those with no name are never called upon. -- Steve Ellen 1:17pm, 01-07-2013 If I had only known that before I walked in front of that bus. I wondered who everybody was yelling at. -- Steve Ellen 5:56pm, 01-07-2013 You really need to remember to look both ways before you cross the street. Didn't your parents teach you that? -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 6:03pm, 01-07-2013 Well, the aliens should have taught him basic safety. Sheesh. What planet were these aliens from? -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 5:19pm, 01-08-2013 A place without buses, it would seem. Unfamiliarity with local wildlife can lead to all kinds of trouble. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 1:03pm, 01-10-2013 When you are from a planet where wheelbarrows are kept as pets... then yes, buses are wildlife. -- Steve Ellen 9:24pm, 01-10-2013 What a strange planet. Are wheelbarrows good pets? -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 10:39am, 01-11-2013 Only if you remember to turn them over at night so they don't fill up with rain and rust. Proper care is essential for a happy wheelbarrow. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 6:10am, 01-14-2013 Ah, I will keep that in mind if I ever adopt a wheelbarrow! -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 2:33pm, 01-14-2013 You don't have to adopt them. They adopt you! One day you wake up and there is a wheelbarrow under the old oak tree where never was one before. -- Steve Ellen 5:53pm, 01-14-2013 Those you do have to adopt. It looks like we'll have to get a hamster or goldfish for you. -- Steve Ellen 12:12pm, 01-16-2013 I wonder how my cat would react to a hamster or goldfish? -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 4:33pm, 01-16-2013 With hunger I'd imagine. It's not everyday your owner brings home live entrées -- ΚΙΣVΣ 2:17am, 01-17-2013 He's so lazy, he probably would just stare at them, hoping someone would feed them to him. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 3:18pm, 01-17-2013 Hm, sounds like a good kitty. Not to be confused with a catty who waits for no one. Heh, heh. -- catty  5:20pm, 01-17-2013 Ever notice how cats never give up on little critters who are just out of reach? Every day they sit and stare even though they can't get at them. I guess they are hoping for a miracle. -- Steve Ellen 10:07pm, 01-17-2013 My cats in Pennsylvania were great mousers. I hated it when they'd leave headless mice right by my bed or on the bathmat for me to step on in the middle of the night, though. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 11:07am, 01-18-2013 But they were headless! That was a gift of the highest order! At least it wasn't a horseman instead of a housemouse! -- catty 4:50pm, 01-18-2013 They were paying tribute to the Queen! A gift for you, our Royal Highness. -- Steve Ellen 6:36pm, 01-18-2013 Our cat was a terrible mouser. The dog, on the other paw, views them as toys to play with. She has a habit of destroying her toys... Needless to say, it doesn't end well for the mice. They only squeak once when nommed. Then never again. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 3:04am, 01-19-2013 I understand the mice were gifts, but why eat the head?? I used to hate when the cats would play with their food....I had to grab a broom and sweep Mickey out the front door more than once. Then, when they ran out after him, I'd slam the door shut. lol -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 10:03am, 01-19-2013 It's the best part of the hunt! Eating the brains then playing with the food after. . . Humans just don't understand. -- catty 9:58pm, 01-19-2013 Toys play better after you remove their brains. Otherwise, they just seem so focused on escape. But without a brain it's like, OK, I'll play. What's next? -- Steve Ellen 4:13am, 01-20-2013 *too busy laughing to think of something witty to submit, odd or otherwise* -- catty 4:57pm, 01-20-2013 It's true. The brainy men get away. The brainless men don't leave unless you push them out. -- Steve Ellen 5:31pm, 01-20-2013 I haer Grímsvötn gets pretty toasty. Not sure I'd want a summer home there, but it's good for getting the chill out. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 12:02pm, 01-22-2013 Grim's Water is hot and steamy! Superheated! Now check out my bathroom after 30 minutes of the hot faucet turned all the way up... -- Steve Ellen 10:50pm, 01-22-2013 I don't know if I feel safe in your bathroom, Steve. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 10:52pm, 01-22-2013 You'll be safe from feeling cold. I can't make you safe from EVERYthing. -- Steve Ellen 2:06am, 01-23-2013 Well, you could try! Would I be safe from you? I'm a little nervous. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 2:32pm, 01-23-2013 From me? Of course! I know just the right amount of Ambien so you won't remember a thing. Just kidding! The only thing you will have to fear here is the amount of carbohydrates in the refrigerator. -- Steve Ellen 2:24am, 01-24-2013 Well, then I guess I'm safer in your bathroom. I think. I'll bring beef jerky. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 11:38am, 01-24-2013 I'll turn the hot faucet up to "full steam ahead". We can write dirty jokes on the mirror. -- Steve Ellen 12:55pm, 01-24-2013 Yes, one needs to be quick on their feet and ever alert for the sound of the violins. Don't wait until you hear the rasp of all the shower curtain rings being suddenly pulled to one side. Jump, duck, and run! -- Steve Ellen 5:39pm, 01-26-2013 I would very much enjoy seeing someone try to do all three at once. Nudity not required. -- Singular Scribbler 11:24am, 01-27-2013 That brings back memories of my ex-boyfriend Joe's youngest brother, Jim. We were staying with him and his family and I was all relaxed in the shower, soaping up my hair, when he snuck into the bathroom and ripped open the shower curtain. I screamed -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 11:59am, 01-27-2013 like a little girl. When I got back downstairs, Joe was laughing his ass off. I said, "What are you laughing about? I'm gonna kill your brother." At least I have some fun and funny memories from that time in my life. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 12:00pm, 01-27-2013 Ah yes, youthful psycho shower stalking and threats of revenge murder. Those were the days! -- Steve Ellen 1:41pm, 01-27-2013 And as wonderful as those memories are for you, Steve, it's about time you let old habits die. It's not cute anymore. -- Singular Scribbler 6:28pm, 01-28-2013 You never get tired of the thrill of seeing that look of surprise on their face when you rip the shower curtain open. -- Steve Ellen 10:58pm, 01-28-2013 Surprise doesn't even cover it. Total shock and fear,,,,lol. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 11:32pm, 01-28-2013 Dear Earth: Please check your gravitational fields. Due to your constant spinning, I recently fell off and found myself drifting in empty space for several days (thank you, Moon, for returning me to my place of origin). -- ΚΙΣVΣ 10:36am, 02-07-2013 How did you survive in empty space for several days?? -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 3:25pm, 02-07-2013 Do they still make Tang? I remember it being quite tasty. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 11:16am, 02-08-2013 Still there. Kraft Foods. The creator of Tang, William A. Mitchell, also invented Pop Rocks and Cool Whip. -- Steve Ellen 6:33pm, 02-08-2013 Editor's Note: Combining all three may lead to unintended side-effects such as jitters, ADHD, footprints on the ceiling, memory loss, and waking up in a padded cell wearing a straightjacket. If you experience memory loss, consider it may be for the best. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 10:40pm, 02-09-2013 Kids play a game where they stagger around with their arms held sticking straight out to the sides and chant: "Pop rocks, cool whip, and tang! Pop rocks, cool whip, and tang!" -- Steve Ellen 3:50am, 02-10-2013 That's a game? I thought they were auditioning for a new horror slasher flick. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 10:01am, 02-16-2013 They would be awesome weapons, the pop rocks, the cool whip, and the dreaded Tang! (Tang: ancient Chinese weapon with horrendous barbs) -- Steve Ellen 1:13pm, 02-16-2013 And if you add a little carbonation you can watch the cute kiddies explode! -- Singular Scribbler 1:20am, 02-17-2013 Now THAT I would pay to see. Not that I need to, as that's exactly the sort of bizzaro-world stuff that finds its way onto Youtube on a daily basis. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 2:18am, 02-17-2013 The miraculous gift of the internet - reducing the difficulty of finding the bizarre. Now we are all explorers in the rainforest of human diversity, capturing whistling butterflies or eagerly plucking strange fungi from the roots of the nup nup tree. -- Steve Ellen 3:14am, 02-17-2013 Of course we are bizarre. If you found substantiated proof of alien life, would you keep it to yourself or announce it to the world? -- catty 12:25pm, 02-26-2013 Wouldn't that depend on the relative profitabilities of the two alternatives? Would I share it with the world if keeping it secret would make me a millionaire? -- Steve Ellen 10:15pm, 02-26-2013 I'd be more afraid of the government making me disappear. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 10:17am, 02-27-2013 You assume that the government is efficient enough to do so. -- Singular Scribbler 12:05am, 03-05-2013 So not all of me would disappear? Clues would be left behind. My toes and my grin. -- Steve Ellen 12:36am, 03-05-2013 Yes, there is not enough of you to leave anything behind. Not only would YOU disappear but a portion of the person standing next to you would go as well. -- Steve Ellen 5:16pm, 03-05-2013 Actually, I have not. I have a policy of never seeing anything that will destroy my mental image of anyone. Formed it after being wrong so many times. However, in your case enough hints have dropped here and there that I assume you are pretty and have lar -- Steve Ellen 4:31am, 03-06-2013 Reached the 255 char limit! I guess we know how the sentence ended.  -- Steve Ellen 4:32am, 03-06-2013 lol...I think I figured it out. Let's just say, I'm not skinny by any means. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 7:02am, 03-06-2013 I'll bet ΚΙΣVΣ is skinny. Don't ask me why I think that. It's entirely a subconscious impression, part of my mental image. Also, I'm trying to tempt him into posting again. -- Steve Ellen 4:59am, 03-07-2013 That's very sneaky of you, Steve. Or is it manipulative? -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 8:54am, 03-07-2013 Sneaky, but effective. And yes, I have perfected a method of turning sideways to disappear. Sometimes I roll myself up in a tube and let the breeze do my traveling for me. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 10:05am, 03-07-2013 It worked! I must learn to trust my ways. ... I turn inside out to disappear. Ms P never disappears. She is stuck in an endless cycle of appearing. -- Steve Ellen 12:06pm, 03-07-2013 I kind of expected that. But do you think you could stop blowing that toy trumpet every time you appear? You are scaring my cat. -- Steve Ellen 1:14am, 03-09-2013 Sorry, I was wondering why my cat was glaring at me, too. *puts trumpet away* -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 12:47pm, 03-10-2013 *scratches catty behind the ears* Calm down, it's ok. No one is going to try to tame you. -- Ms. Penguin - 7 Yrs On WDC 7:24pm, 03-22-2013 Hmmph! I should think not! No touching the ears...well, ok, maybe a little touching the ears... -- catty 12:56am, 05-14-2013 Total Displayed: 100 |
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