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| >> In & Out >> Entertainment >> ID #1040777 |   |
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Same Weird Stuff, new weird title. Miscellaneous ramblings of demented minds - and those who want their brains bent a little funny. Read, post, be silly. Rules:  There are no rules. See the First Rule Paintbombs approved, use with discretion-(please don't soak everything in illegible rainbows) Ignore the warning at the bottom: WritingML WILL be processed. ...If there are no rules, why am I writing this?>>DANGER! INVALID LOGIC LOOP DETECTED. TERMINATING... >>... >>... >>... >>TERMINATION SEQUENCE ACTIVE. BRACE FOR SHOCKWAVE... Kieve's brain goes into nuclear meltdown and explodes... |
Hmmm, trust you... Should I? Should I not? Ok, I need to spend a little quality time in my meditation chamber. -- Steve Ellen  6:50am, 09-25-2011 You have one? Are there toilet paper lined walls and bookshelves filled with corny joke books. -- Singular Scribbler  1:44pm, 09-25-2011 It's like you've been there! Except I've redone the walls in aluminum foil. Much more protection from any mind-altering rays that get beamed in my direction. Where do you meditate? I picture a closet filled with computer monitors. -- Steve Ellen 11:51am, 09-26-2011 His name is Irwin Von Mandible, an eight-foot long millipede with an elegant moustache and a gold-rimmed monocle. He is very suave. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 11:40pm, 10-25-2011 Once you put a gold rim on your monocle it's almost impossible NOT to be suave. You practically have to drop your pants and fart Blue Moon while clapping your belly with four spoons to spoil the suave illusion. -- Steve Ellen 10:04pm, 10-26-2011 As far as I'm aware, Von Mandible does not wear pants. It takes forever to put 'em on when you have a hundred legs to deal with. One foot goes in the wrong pant-leg and boom - you have to start all over! -- ΚΙΣVΣ 10:54pm, 10-28-2011 That explains the kilt then. If a millipede climbs to the top of a watchtower, do you consider him to have reached his goal when his front legs hit the top or do you have to wait until his backmost legs do? -- Steve Ellen 10:38pm, 10-30-2011 I think if millipedes are climbing watchtowers, I'd find myself questioning their motives more than anything. But I say when at least 50% of his body length is above the threshold. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 10:09pm, 11-03-2011 Where do you go with all of that body? Would 50% of his body just dangle uselessly in the air while the rest of him climbs to oblivion? -- Singular Scribbler 10:12pm, 11-03-2011 It's not necessary to assume that if one is dangling in the air then one is doing so "uselessly". Dangling in the air can be quite refreshing. -- Steve Ellen 10:43pm, 11-04-2011 This time of year with the change in the weather is when lots of people get sick. Strangely, it's a great time of year for bacteria and they are healthier than ever. -- Steve Ellen 5:45pm, 11-07-2011 I'm a great believer in knowing your place. I'm 99% sure I'm in my own place now. I hope so. Because when a mistake is made it leads to yelling and shouting and sirens and TV news cameras and it's just better to know your place as well as you can. -- Steve Ellen 9:56am, 11-09-2011 Is it better to know the place you've been given or make one of your own? The latter seems noble and wonderful, but you have to wonder about all the people who get clubbed in the head in the process. -- Singular Scribbler 7:17pm, 11-09-2011 Hey, if a little head-clubbing is what it takes to keep the other hobos out of my cardboard box, so be it. It took ages to weatherproof it in Saran Wrap. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 8:21pm, 11-09-2011 Maybe you are in the wrong place. Sounds like you should have chosen Southern California. -- Steve Ellen 8:37pm, 11-17-2011 No. Southern California is a freaky place, fraught with weirdos, chill people, cush doctors and beachheads. You don't want to take your box there. -- Singular Scribbler 10:00am, 11-18-2011 But the weather is good, isn't it? How many visitors do you think he'll get since he lives in a box? Or is that what makes them weird people? That they will visit your box? That could get spooky if you were asleep at the time. -- Steve Ellen 5:15pm, 11-18-2011 That's what the guard-rats are for. They're albinos who escaped from the lab. They are made of hate and razor blades, and do not cuddle well. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 11:46pm, 11-21-2011 Description of a bad dating experience: She was made of hate and razor blades and did not cuddle well. -- Steve Ellen 9:24pm, 11-22-2011 But the break up was fraught with risk. That's why he insisted they break up by email, even though email breakups are socially unacceptable. Sure, you can meet someone in Cyberspace, but just try to break up with them there. Suddenly you are uncouth. -- Steve Ellen 1:51pm, 11-27-2011 So that's what people consider uncouth these days? And here I was living in saran-wrapped boxes with rats. If only I'd known I could skip all that and just end a relationship or two digitally... Ah wait, I see the problem. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 11:18pm, 11-29-2011 I don't. We're writers! Making up characters is part of what we do. Pick a persona, develop him, then use it to exploit lonely women around the world! Don't let your creative talents go to waste! -- Singular Scribbler 1:50am, 11-30-2011 No, LET your creative talents go to waste! Let everyone see how you could have been a genius, but instead, for the sake of enlightening mankind about the futility of existence, you fritter away your talents bidding for trinkets on ebay. -- Steve Ellen 9:15pm, 11-30-2011 I almost bid on ebay once, but while the shipping was free, they claimed the "handling" was mandatory. I'm uncomfortable with property that insists on being molested. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 4:58am, 12-06-2011 That reminds me of Charo, the "cuchi cuchi" girl... I get the feeling she insists on being molested. Not that that's a bad thing. Naturally, if it's your lawmower or your blender doing the insisting then you have a problem, Houston. -- Steve Ellen 8:54pm, 12-06-2011 I thought you might. There is a big blueberry smear on your cheek. -- Steve Ellen 8:56pm, 12-07-2011 Why does it have to be Houston? Why is Houston the only city with problems. We all know that's not true. Why can't we talk about someone else's problems? Gotham has tons of them! Gotham, you've got a problem! Give Houston a break! -- Singular Scribbler 12:55am, 12-20-2011 Um... actually the line is Houston, WE have a problem, not Houston, YOU have a problem. That's alright. The rest of your audition was very good. NEXT! -- Steve Ellen 11:04pm, 12-20-2011 I'm sorry, Miss, but I am afraid you are too high-strung for this job. Please put down that floor lamp. -- Steve Ellen 9:22pm, 12-23-2011 High-strung? Hah. He says I'm high strung! *giggles* If you want to see high-strung, see the guy hanging in the back. I'm not high strung at all! I'm very relaxed! *throws lamp to the grown and watches with glee as it shatters* -- Singular Scribbler 12:39am, 12-24-2011 I'm assuming you were born in Gotham on a dark night. What am I saying? All the nights in Gotham are dark. Do you have childhood memories of eerie background music? -- Steve Ellen 1:45pm, 12-25-2011 I can't answer that. Mostly because I can't really remember my childhood, but partly for spite. -- Singular Scribbler 8:21pm, 12-25-2011 Spite can be a powerful motivator. You will go far in life. At least, everyone in your home town wishes you would. -- Steve Ellen 5:51pm, 12-26-2011 Oh, I intend to do just that. To do otherwise would put me within range of the fallout of its destruction. That, my good man, would be bad juju. -- Singular Scribbler 4:10am, 12-27-2011 But I liked all 3 of yours! You aren't being Even Steven with me! *pouts* -- Steve Ellen 4:46pm, 12-30-2011 I'm always willing to be even with you, man, provided we exchange quality for quality. -- Singular Scribbler 11:13am, 01-03-2012 You make a valid point. Where is that old windbagger anyway? -- Singular Scribbler 2:03am, 01-05-2012 He disappeared a month ago. Extended holidays? Maybe he is in Rio de Janiero. -- Steve Ellen 9:28pm, 01-05-2012 Rio de Janiero is on my list of places to go, just so I can figure out what the big deal is. I don't want to vacation in a place with tons of people, flashy lights and prices they know I'll pay because they tourism conspiracy stretches for miles around. -- Singular Scribbler 2:35am, 01-07-2012 Rio is in the southern hemisphere so it's a good winter destination. It's on a beach and ringed by mountains, populated by tolerant people, and there is enough poverty so that you can have anything you're willing to pay for. Need more inducements? -- Steve Ellen 3:04pm, 01-07-2012 Oh great. Not only has ΚΙΣVΣ disappeared but SIngular Scribbler has too. Hmmm... I wonder if they are in Rio together... -- Steve Ellen 5:22pm, 01-14-2012 Haha. Nope. I am at a physics conference in Tennessee, though. Also, I have no use for beaches and other tourists. -- Singular Scribbler 12:48am, 01-15-2012 I love physics conferences. The highlight for me is when they do the reenactment of the Isaac Newton falling apple moment, then sing the theme song from the Black Hole TV show. Also good is th pageantry of the opening Parade of the Science Fair Recipients -- Steve Ellen 9:46pm, 01-15-2012 The Sliding Block Down An Inclined Plane races are pretty exciting. As is the Pendulum Timing contest. -- Steve Ellen 10:51pm, 01-19-2012 My favorite was my experiment to see what would happen to a baby that was not strapped in when the vehicle in which it was riding was in a car accident. But...I guess what you're talking about is fun...? -- Singular Scribbler 1:19am, 02-06-2012 What's not fun about test crashes? Smashing things for the sake of science and improved safety is the best and most fun job in the world. -- Mr. Chowda Head 5:44am, 02-06-2012 Exactly! I'm glad somebody understands that. My lab class just thought I was crazy and sadistic. Though...there may have been a touch of that too. >:] -- Singular Scribbler 8:53am, 02-06-2012 At least you are the tester and not the dummy. Better to be crazy and sadistic than dumb and masochistic. -- Steve Ellen 8:49pm, 02-06-2012 But not to be one yourself. What's the most masochistic thing a person could want? ... To be a masochist!!! -- Steve Ellen 7:37pm, 02-12-2012 Or to be a sadist that's forced to be kind and gentle towards everyone. -- Singular Scribbler 11:11pm, 02-17-2012 Like you have to put on an Easter Bunny suit and officiate at the egg hunt. Or they make you the den mother of the local My Little Pony friendship club. -- Steve Ellen 6:36pm, 02-18-2012 I'm not sure even the most hardened den mother could handle that many young males in one place... they do call it a "herd" for a reason... -- ΚΙΣVΣ 5:09pm, 02-19-2012 We'll need an Oklahoma den mother who wears spurs and twirls a rope. -- Steve Ellen 8:25pm, 02-19-2012 Well that would be in keeping with the S&M trend you started here, but I'm not sure if it's what you were going for? -- ΚΙΣVΣ 10:48pm, 02-22-2012 I was going more for a "Spring Renascence" ambience. I wanted lots of flowers, but blue ones, not these horrible yellow ones. It's all wrong now! Now it's the "Winter of My Discontent". -- Steve Ellen 8:23pm, 02-23-2012 Now I have a weird mental image of EVEIK as a child who has stumbled away from the egg hunting grounds, only to run into some sexy S&M cowgirl. Meanwhile, Steve watches from the bushes. -- Singular Scribbler 9:48pm, 02-23-2012 My childhood was never that . . . "interesting." Though that does explain the creepy feeling of being watched. I always put it down to lawn gnomes... despite the fact that we have none... -- ΚΙΣVΣ 12:20am, 02-24-2012 You don't have to have them to feel their effect. The people who owned the house before you may have buried Indians in the backyard or performed taboo lawn gnome rituals. -- Steve Ellen 2:53pm, 02-24-2012 "In 1972, five lawn gnomes were beheaded when early Weed Whacker tests went awry. Their porcelain souls continue to haunt the yard to this very day." -- ΚΙΣVΣ 1:21am, 02-25-2012 Loretta, the sensitive child, wakes at 2am and runs to Mommy. "I heard it again! It sounds like Whacka whacka whacka! I'm a gonna get ya!" -- Steve Ellen 1:57pm, 02-25-2012 That's not the scary part, though. The scary part is the way you can never get rid of them. Throw it away, you'll find it in your garage a month later. Give it to your neighbor, it'll pop up in your backyard after a few weeks. -- Singular Scribbler 10:41pm, 02-25-2012 Smash it to pieces and someone is suddenly stricken by an inexplicable urge to but you another on just like it. You will never escape. -- Singular Scribbler 10:42pm, 02-25-2012 ...until 5 minutes before the end of the movie when it is revealed that [spoiler alert] and everyone lives happily ever after. -- Steve Ellen 7:52am, 02-26-2012 This gives me the urge to write a B-movie horror flick about the shards of a destroyed lawn gnome. Bare feet beware! -- ΚΙΣVΣ 11:44am, 02-26-2012 Be sure to include the scene where the family's cute little daughter's head swivels around 360 degrees and she says in a multivoice whisper: "They're back!" -- Steve Ellen 8:22pm, 02-26-2012 Sometimes B-movies are better than A-movies. There's more room for the classic stroke of genius. Now I want to have a B-movie marathon. Any suggestions? -- Singular Scribbler 6:20pm, 02-29-2012 You can't go wrong with Roger Corman. You've probably already seen Little Shop of Horrors, but have you seen Bucket of Blood? -- Steve Ellen 7:56pm, 02-29-2012 Why, did you misplace one? I have a few spare buckets handy if you need them. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 10:13pm, 02-29-2012 I've been trying to avoid contemplating what diet would involve hemoglobin. It's a bit like thinking about pink elephants. -- ΚΙΣVΣ 7:49pm, 03-14-2012 Oh, a pink elephant diet is easy to figure out. Lots of pink. Lots of elephant. Gluten is the one I have trouble with. I don't know what it is but it sounds Dutch. -- Steve Ellen 10:30pm, 03-15-2012 I don't know the proper response to that so I will just say that Bella Vista Boca del Mar means beautiful mouth view of the sea -- Steve Ellen 3:37am, 03-18-2012 That's gross, and a more accurate translations would be beautiful view of the mouth of the sea. Get it? -- Singular Scribbler 1:28pm, 05-17-2012 I can't imagine a view of anybody's mouth would ever be beautiful, unless they kept it closed, but the sea has no self-restraint. -- Steve Ellen 10:33am, 05-18-2012 Surely there has to be something people find attractive about mouths since they are so often compelled to suck them off other people's faces. -- Singular Scribbler 1:43pm, 05-18-2012 You can do that without LOOKING at it! Anyway, it's only the open mouth that is unattractive - the view a dentist has. -- Steve Ellen 12:58pm, 05-20-2012 I wonder if dentists do what they do because of some weird and oddly specific fetish. -- Singular Scribbler 1:16am, 05-21-2012 Unfortunately, yes. I had a tooth pulled and the dentist was grunting as he struggled with it. His face was contorted in an odd way. One can only conclude he was experiencing a sexual thrill. Very embarrassing. Naturally I said nothing about it. -- Steve Ellen 12:02pm, 05-21-2012 I wonder what it'd be like to get paid to play out your fetish every day. Fuuuuun stuff. -- Singular Scribbler 11:41pm, 05-21-2012 Ask a gynecologist. Or a foot doctor. Or... Oh, let's face it, the entire medical profession is full of perverts and fetishsists. -- Steve Ellen 10:53am, 05-22-2012 Total Displayed: 100 |
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