: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-04-09 @ 9:22am
: *sneaks some icing off the cake with a finger* Mmmmm! Chocolate.

: Dad
: 10-04-09 @ 10:05pm
: May I cut you a piece of that cake, Steve? *cuts Steve a piece of cake, places it on a plate and hands it to him*

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-05-09 @ 10:01am
: Oh, you are being just so so polite. I hope Miss Emily is impressed with your politeness. I hope you and Miss Emily live happily together forever and ever! *storms out of room*

: pentatonic
: 10-05-09 @ 10:48am
: (Drama...) *under his breath*

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 10-05-09 @ 11:23am
: Oh Steve, *follows steve out of room and begins to comfort him*

: Dad
: 10-05-09 @ 9:46pm
: *bemused look on his face* If he didn't want cake, he could just have said, "No thank you." *eats cake*

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-06-09 @ 9:28am
: *returns shame-faced* I'm sorry I spoiled the par-- *notices Dad* Hey! Are you going to eat ALL the cake!? Why, you dirty-- *leaps*

: Dad
: 10-07-09 @ 9:50am
: *watches Steve leap, twirl, pirouette, and somersault* You're very talented, Steve. *wipes crumbs from mouth* Want some cake? I'll cut you a piece.

: pentatonic
: 10-07-09 @ 3:21pm
: Dangit, I'll have some too! *tired of watching everyone else have cake*

: Dad
: 10-07-09 @ 4:17pm
: *cuts piece and hands it to pent* Here ya go!

: pentatonic
: 10-07-09 @ 5:36pm
: *grabs cake**munches cake pensively*

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-08-09 @ 9:49am
: *exhausted* OK, I think I'm ready for my cake now. I like to earn it. *stares meaningfully at pentatonic*

: pentatonic
: 10-08-09 @ 5:15pm
: *averts eyes with a haughty, cake-having attitude*

: Dad
: 10-08-09 @ 10:02pm
: *Gives Steve a piece of cake.* If this isn't enough, Steve, you can always ask Emily for a piece.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-09-09 @ 9:35am
: Hey! Somebody better go outside and find her! She followed me out but she didn't follow me back in! She's out there somewhere and it's Halloween. Jack, Freddy, and Alvin might be out there on a killing spree.

: pentatonic
: 10-09-09 @ 3:20pm
: I don't see how a chipmunk is any reason for alarm.

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 10-09-09 @ 3:25pm
: *walks in with dillated eyes* don't mention that evil chipmunk ever again! You don't konw the things I've seen, the things I've heard...

: Dad
: 10-09-09 @ 10:55pm
: *hands Emily a piece of cake and a glass of water, and helps her sit in one of the musical chairs* Was it worse than your date with Steve?

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 10-10-09 @ 10:25am
: *staps out of chipmunk trance* I-I n-never w-w-went on a d-d-d-ate with, with with, steve

: Dad
: 10-10-09 @ 10:31am
: And I'll bet you're damn glad of that, too.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-11-09 @ 9:06am
: Stop putting words in her mouth. It's bad enough you're stuffing her with cake. You don't have to eat that third piece of cake if you don't want it, Emily.

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 10-11-09 @ 6:57pm
: That's alright, it's very good cake. Now who made it?

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-12-09 @ 9:30am
: *eyes grow big* Uh oh! I guess we should have found that out before we started eating it. Oh nooooooooo!

: Dad
: 10-12-09 @ 10:11pm
: I know! It was the bakery at the grocery store my son works at. Don't worry. I've never found a hair in any of the cakes we've bought there. And arsenic only once.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-13-09 @ 10:29am
: Why do you assume that a hair in a cake is the worst thing we can imagine? Whenever I found a hair in one of my Mom's cakes she told me that meant I would be lucky that day.

: pentatonic
: 10-13-09 @ 5:04pm
: Sure, you were lucky. You were eating hair-cake.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-14-09 @ 11:02am
: It's not like one little hair can make an entire cake taste like a toupee.

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 10-14-09 @ 1:30pm
: True, but what about a whole clump?

: Dad
: 10-14-09 @ 11:21pm
: I agree with Steve. Given the choice, I'd rather eat a cake that has a hair in in than one with arsenic.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-15-09 @ 10:16am
: I think we can all agree with that. OK. Is there ice cream? Is it perfect ice cream with no flaws? This party is not as beautiful as I was led to believe it would be. *covers cake with a napkin*

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 10-17-09 @ 9:49am
: Well I certainly am offended, as I am the one who organized this little gathering

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-18-09 @ 9:53am
: I'm so sorry, Emily! I'm sure your ice cream is wonderful! Uh... I'll wait until Dad eats a dish of it before I try it. Just being polite.

: pentatonic
: 10-18-09 @ 5:29pm
: *thinks he saw Joe Rogan offer a similar dish to gameshow contestants*

: Dad
: 10-18-09 @ 9:40pm
: *stares uncertainly at dish of ice cream* *hears voices in head that seem to say "Go ahead. Eat the ice cream. It won't hurt you." Oddly, the voice sounds like Mom's who's standing nearby with the life insurance policy.*

: ProsperousSnow
: 10-19-09 @ 1:41am
: Am I the only one here who can cook a 20+ lb. Turkey in a microwave oven?

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-19-09 @ 8:37am
: Yes. None of the rest of us have Salmonella poisoning.

: ProsperousSnow
: 10-19-09 @ 1:35pm
: If you carve the bird first you don't get Samonella poisoning, but it takes a while to cook the turkey.

: Dad
: 10-19-09 @ 10:28pm
: Problem with that is the stuffing doesn't get a good, crunchy crust on top.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-20-09 @ 10:25am
: I've never been happy with meat cooked in the microwave. Best way to cook a turkey is either use a plastic bag in the oven or else smoke it for a long time. Fastest is deep frying whole turkey if you like really crisp skin.

: Dad
: 10-21-09 @ 10:09pm
: Actually (and I admit this sounds crazy, but it's true) cooking it in a brown paper bag is supposed to be good, too. Don't know for sure, never tried it, but I've heard that. Personally, I prefer it in the oven, uncovered.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-22-09 @ 10:02am
: Brown paper bag sounds too much like a kitchen fire to me. LOL. Grease-soaked paper next to red hot electric elements... what could go wrong?

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 10-22-09 @ 3:07pm
: Well if anything could go wrong, it would happen to us!

: pentatonic
: 10-22-09 @ 4:17pm
: Wouldn't want to break Murphy's Law...

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 10-22-09 @ 5:46pm
: Now I'll bet Murphy's Law applys more to me than any old fool named Murphey.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-23-09 @ 10:13am
: Since you managed to spell his name wrong before you could finish your sentence... I guess yeah you're right about that!

: Dad
: 10-23-09 @ 10:29pm
: Dad's Application of Murphy's (Spelled Correctly) Law: Any mechanical or electric device, when shown to the repairman, works perfectly.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-24-09 @ 10:47am
: Amen. But I've discovered the secret. Now I just pretend that I am the repairman and the device is fooled into working right again.

: Dad
: 10-24-09 @ 11:28am
: That works, until, alas, it sees me attempt to fix something, then, voila', it realizes it has been fooled, and malfunctions again.

: Amyaurora
: 10-24-09 @ 3:41pm
: After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

: Dad
: 10-24-09 @ 10:29pm
: Should fish wait an hour after eating before swimming? And to they have to lie on the bottom of the fish bowl, waiting?

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-25-09 @ 9:45am
: I have no problem waiting an hour after eating before I do anything. It's a great time for a nap!

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 10-27-09 @ 3:35pm
: But technically, a nap is doing SOMETHING. Really, how can you do NOTHING? it's impossible! show me someone doing nothing. Just one person, one live person doing nothing. Then I will shuttup

: Dad
: 10-27-09 @ 11:21pm
: Is it true that, when Steve is napping, he's still lying?

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-28-09 @ 10:41am
: Don't shut up, Emily. You speak truth. I knew I was actually living an active lifestyle with three naps a day. :D

: Dad
: 10-31-09 @ 12:22am
: And that just goes to prove that truth is stranger than fact.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 10-31-09 @ 10:08am
: Thank goodness we finally proved something. For a while there I was becoming fearful we were just producing meaningless babble. But obviously we are not.

: Dad
: 10-31-09 @ 12:14pm
: WE produced something more than just meaningless babble? *clutches chest and collapses*

: pentatonic
: 10-31-09 @ 3:06pm
: CLEAR! *defibrilates Dad with whatever's lying around*

: Dad
: 10-31-09 @ 5:04pm
: *comes to* Hmmmm. I never thought a AA battery and 2 ping pong paddles would work. Thanks, Pent.

: pentatonic
: 10-31-09 @ 5:11pm
: *thumbs up sign*

: Joan
: 10-31-09 @ 8:09pm
: Thumbs up sign means the plan(any plan will do even awesome plan) is working beautifully.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-01-09 @ 8:52am
: Um... yes, that's true. That IS what it means. *thumbs up*

: Dad
: 11-01-09 @ 3:57pm
: And it's a hell of a lot nicer that this one. *extends middle finger at no one in particular*

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 11-04-09 @ 4:49pm
: *sends email from far away land: has anyone missed me yet? I have swine so I am far away from humanity*

: pentatonic
: 11-04-09 @ 11:29pm
: Feel better and return to us! *hopes Emily gets well soon*

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-05-09 @ 8:07am
: Now I know someone who has H1N1. Cool. By the time she reads this she will be well again. :-)

: Dad
: 11-05-09 @ 10:39pm
: *hopes Emily is awesome again very soon* Oh, and BTW: Emily, I saw some.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-06-09 @ 9:59am
: She has wine now so she doesn't care what you saw.

: Dad
: 11-06-09 @ 10:03pm
: She has to whine now? Just now? I thought it was all the time.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-07-09 @ 9:09am
: You misunderstood. I meant she has some awesome wine.

: Dad
: 11-07-09 @ 10:41am
: Oh. OK. I understand.

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 11-07-09 @ 12:46pm
: I'm back, but still coughing (there it is *cough cough*)

: Dad
: 11-07-09 @ 10:50pm
: *Puts a handkerchief on a stick and pushes it across the room closer to Emily* Here. Use this. And stay on that side of the room until I get H1N1. I mean, so I don't get H1N1.

: pentatonic
: 11-08-09 @ 12:26am
: If you're not careful, you'll jinx yourself into it somehow.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-08-09 @ 8:27am
: I used to believe a lot of weird superstitions like that. But now I wear a necklace of garlic and that takes care of all the evil influences. It's no longer necessary for me to make the warding signs and sprinkle salt everywhere I walk.

: Dad
: 11-08-09 @ 9:07pm
: I find that wearing garlic and a crucifix and keeping my fingers crossed and not walking under ladders and not breaking mirrors works. However, I avoid watching the nightly news, so I never know is anything bad happens any way.

: pentatonic
: 11-09-09 @ 5:11pm
: Oh. So, I guess you don't know about the... 'Incident'.

: Dad
: 11-09-09 @ 9:40pm
: Er, uh ... *squints* I had nothing to do with that. Those are wild rumors started by my enemies! I am innocent as a newborn baby!

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-10-09 @ 7:33am
: But in the movie The Omen the newborn baby grew up to be Satan. How do we know you're not a demon baby?

: Dad
: 11-10-09 @ 10:53pm
: Because The Church Lady has never looked at me and said, "Could it be ... Say - ton?"

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-11-09 @ 8:23am
: But did she take your diaper off? The devil is in the details.

: Dad
: 11-11-09 @ 9:14pm
: Yes. She took my diaper off. And I told her that she was never to dress you in my clothes again.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-12-09 @ 10:28am
: I hope Emily is better. Wouldn't it be awful to see the tomstone salesman's car parked at her house?

: Dad
: 11-12-09 @ 11:01pm
: I do agree with you, Steve. It would be awful to see the tombstone salesman's car at her house. But ... well, it'd be better to see it at her house than at mine.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-13-09 @ 9:39am
: I just pretend I'm not home.

: Dad
: 11-13-09 @ 10:10pm
: Well, let's toss one back in honor of Emily I Saw Some. *Tosses back a pitcher of cough syrup*

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-14-09 @ 8:30am
: *buys a bag of the expensive cough drops instead of the 100-for-a-dollar kind* It's worth it to honor Emily.

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 11-15-09 @ 12:13pm
: "Emily I Saw Some" has beat the pig! now what are we going to do with all those cough drops steve?

: Dad
: 11-15-09 @ 10:06pm
: I know! Next time we see one of them Salvation Army kettles, let's drop them in instead of cash!

: Dad
: 11-15-09 @ 10:07pm
: And, welcome back, Emily. Hope you're feelin' better. I Saw Some people with Swine Flu, wasn't pretty.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-16-09 @ 8:47am
: *Salvation Army captain beans Dad with a kettle*

: Dad
: 11-16-09 @ 10:23pm
: Hey, Mr. Salvation Army captain! At least I made a donation. I never saw ol' Mr. Steve ~ Friction deposit anything in your kettle. So there.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-17-09 @ 8:10am
: I got arrested the last time I deposited something in a kettle. Not making that mistake again.

: Dad
: 11-17-09 @ 10:59pm
: As Confusius says, "Man who puts corn and pees in the same pot is unsanitary."

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-19-09 @ 9:02am
: So true...

: Emilyisawesomeagain
: 11-19-09 @ 3:31pm
: Are you sure that's a confusius quote, and not one of the highly philisophical "dad"?

: Dad
: 11-19-09 @ 10:50pm
: Not sure, Emily, but I do have to admit that I didn't hear Confusius say it. I heard it from my Dad. (His name is Grandpa.)

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-20-09 @ 10:03am
: My Gramps said, "Make sure the bellringer is looking the other way when you snatch the kettle."

: Dad
: 11-21-09 @ 12:25am
: Sounds like your Gramps was a very wise man. Or a wise guy, or something.

: Steve ~ Friction
: 11-21-09 @ 8:59am
: He's doing 7 to 10 at the State Pen.

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