: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 09-23-11 @ 7:44am
: *sings quietly to himself, Send in the clowns...send in the clowns...too late...They're Here...*

: Steve Ellen
: 09-23-11 @ 2:21pm
: *makes notes on clipboard* Patient P is making real progress. Finally he is singing quietly. Thank God for that. Patient D is still charging around the ward knocking over anyone in his path.

: Dad
: 09-23-11 @ 8:43pm
: Note to Steve: Maybe if you take away Patient D's credit card, he'll stop charging around town, and start paying his bills. *realizes who Patient D is* Uh, never mind.

: Steve Ellen
: 09-24-11 @ 6:42am
: Clipboard: Patient D gained new level of self-awareness today. I think we can take him off the dog leash and let him eat at the table.

: Dad
: 09-25-11 @ 10:24pm
: Note to Steve: Not too fast.. Patient D might become too self-aware, and become overly self-righteous. Removing the dog leash is OK, but maybe you should just let him lick the scraps off the floor for now. *realizes who Patient D is* Uh, never mind.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 09-26-11 @ 4:08pm
: Note to self: take away the notepads. Sticky notes do NOT belong in the pudding.

: Dad
: 09-29-11 @ 10:28pm
: Note to PH: It depends on what flavor the pudding is.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 09-30-11 @ 4:00pm
: Cool. Is it shaky pudding? I know, I know. that's not really a flavor.

: Dad
: 09-30-11 @ 10:46pm
: Shaky pudding is fine. But just for you information, sticky notes belong on bread pudding and Yorkshire pudding. Sticky notes cannot make them taste any worse.

: Steve Ellen
: 10-01-11 @ 8:33am
: The only words that belong with pudding are chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch.

: Dad
: 10-01-11 @ 9:33pm
: Don't forget banana! Mom makes one bad-ass banana pudding!

: Dad
: 10-02-11 @ 2:31pm
: And pistacchio I love pistacchio pudding. I just can't spell it.

: Steve Ellen
: 10-03-11 @ 11:07pm
: Neither could Pinocchio.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-04-11 @ 7:36am
: Don't you mean - Neither WOOD Pinocchio?

: Dad
: 10-04-11 @ 9:28pm
: But didn't The Good Fairy make himn a real boy at the end? And why aren't there any Bad Fairies in children's stories? It's always Evil Witches and Good Fairies. Aren't there Bad Homosexuals, too?

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-05-11 @ 9:20am
: There are good witches too. And Dad, if you want to know about evil fairies, write me a personal email. This I/O is 13+

: Dad
: 10-05-11 @ 10:10pm
: You are right. Glinda the Good Witch comes immediately to mind.

: Ravenwand, Rising Star!
: 10-06-11 @ 5:50am
: I have been called a witch, but never a good one.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-06-11 @ 7:44am
: Are you sure that was the correct first letter? I was thinking it started with ST

: Steve Ellen
: 10-06-11 @ 12:51pm
: Lots of things start with ST. Even start starts with ST. Now if it started with ZK then you would have something special.

: Dad
: 10-06-11 @ 9:27pm
: Purp is wrong. It doesn't start with ST. It starts with IT. It ends with IT, too, now that I think about it.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-07-11 @ 6:00am
: I was referring to a stitch, since it begins with ST and rhymes with witch. As if an insane person is described as "a stitch short of a tapestry."

: Steve Ellen
: 10-07-11 @ 7:20am
: But would you be insane if you were only one stitch short? I mean, I would think there would have to be giant holes ripped out of the tapestry before you could justify using the word "insane". One stitch short is like "eccentric" or "quirky".

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-07-11 @ 8:08am
: If you leap off a tall bridge in Paris, and land in the water, you're officially In Seine.

: Dad
: 10-07-11 @ 9:00pm
: I like some of the descriptions of dumb people: "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer," "Not he brightest bulb in the pack." My favorite: "Can't pour water out of a boot with instructions written on the heel."

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-08-11 @ 8:07am
: Couldn't sign his name if you gave him the pen and moved the book around underneath it.

: Dad
: 10-08-11 @ 10:56am
: A .22 caliber intellect in a .357 Magnum world.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-09-11 @ 9:34pm
: In that movie, which one was 'dumb' and which was 'dumber'?

: Dad
: 10-10-11 @ 8:27pm
: They were both "dumb" "Dumber" were the ones who plunked down their hard-earned money to purchase tickets.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-11-11 @ 8:36am
: When I asked my brother about the movie "Ghost", back before I'd seen it and he had, he replied, "Make ya laugh, make ya cry, make ya kiss five bucks goodbye."

: Steve Ellen
: 10-11-11 @ 9:10am
: Better than kissing is a stern admonishment that if the five bucks are not back in your wallet by dawn, you'll deposit them in a sperm bank. Play on their pride. You kiss them then they think you're a pushover. "Aw, why should we ever go back? Good-bye!"

: Dad
: 10-14-11 @ 9:37pm
: It's been awhile since someone of the female persuasion has posted here. Just exactly who are you kissing?

: Prosperous Snow
: 10-14-11 @ 10:32pm
: Does kissing an old flame in your dreams count?

: Dad
: 10-15-11 @ 11:10am
: Doesn't kissing an old flame scorch your eyebrows?

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-15-11 @ 11:30am
: I would think it'd scorch your lips first. Unless it's a virtual flame?

: Dad
: 10-16-11 @ 5:37pm
: Purp makes a good point. Would a virual flame case bodily damage?

: Steve Ellen
: 10-17-11 @ 9:27am
: First it would burn your virtue, then your common sense, then your caution.. and then the real fun begins.

: Dad
: 10-17-11 @ 9:43pm
: Let's see. *thinks quietly for several minutes, manages to stay awake* I lost my virtue as a teenager, along with my innocence. I threw caution to the wind years ago. I have no freakin' clue what common sence is. *looks up* LET THE FUN BEGIN!!!

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-18-11 @ 1:36pm
: If I threw caution to the wind enough, would I get a discount later on in life? I could really use a "wind" passing discount right about now.

: Dad
: 10-18-11 @ 11:10pm
: I don't "pass" wind. I break wind. It's gas that I pass. (Hey! I'm a poet and didn't know it! My feet show it! They're long-fellows!)

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 10-19-11 @ 7:48am
: Don't make me put the gun on STUN again, Dad.

: Dad
: 10-21-11 @ 9:42pm
: I prefer for phaser to be on STUN. Much much better than KILL.

: drew from sam's townn
: 12-21-11 @ 1:06am
: Aren't you supposed to be asking ODD questions in here? by the way, What is an odd question?

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 12-21-11 @ 5:44am
: Glad you asked. From what I can see, it's every-other entry. The even ones are statements, the odd ones are questions. See? This one is not a question.

: Dad
: 12-21-11 @ 11:04pm
: Here's an odd question: If you got run over by a Mannheim Steamroller, would you hear music before you passed out?

: drew from sam's townn
: 12-27-11 @ 4:28am
: Doesn't that depend on which part of the body is run over first?

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 12-27-11 @ 6:24am
: I always hear music before I pass out. I figured it was the soundtrack of my life. Are you saying it isn't?

: drew from sam's townn
: 12-27-11 @ 6:59am
: Why and How do you pass out? Is it because you always get run over by a Mannheim Steamroller?

: Dad
: 12-27-11 @ 10:08pm
: Or maybe because he lives in a flophouse over the Dew Drop Inn on the outskirts of town?

: Steve Ellen
: 12-27-11 @ 10:15pm
: Our town has skirts? Passing out and passing on. What about passing in? Ever heard the expression: He didn't have a pot to pass in? Just thought I'd mention that in passing.

: Dad
: 12-27-11 @ 10:29pm
: I heard about a snake that was so poor he didn't have a pit to hiss in.

: drew from sam's townn
: 12-28-11 @ 1:35am
: Is that why he did the hissing in the local pub?

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 12-28-11 @ 9:06am
: I heard about that snake too. He had a Hissing Booth at the County Fair, but nobody wanted to touch his tongue.

: Dad
: 12-28-11 @ 10:57pm
: Is there anything on earth more pitiable than a snake with a lisp? "Hith! Hith!"

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 12-29-11 @ 7:44am
: I think a hairlipped dog would be pitiable too - Mark Mark. Or a stuttering cow? M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-ooo. Or a perverted frog? Rubbit Rubbit. Should I go on?

: Steve Ellen
: 12-29-11 @ 9:15pm
: If you mean go on down the road then don't let us keep you from your... what is it you do again?

: Dad
: 12-29-11 @ 10:24pm
: He makes fun of anything that deserves mocking. And mocks anything that deserves being made fun of.

: drew from sam's townn
: 12-30-11 @ 6:37am
: that's what she said.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 12-30-11 @ 7:53am
: Did she say it oddly?

: Steve Ellen
: 12-30-11 @ 5:09pm
: She said it so oddly that the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. When the hairs in my ear saw that they said, "Hey, while you're up can you get us a beer?"

: Dad
: 12-30-11 @ 11:04pm
: The hair on the back of his neck stood up because the hair on the top of his head can't. Because it ain't there.

: Steve Ellen
: 01-01-12 @ 10:34am
: May they rest in peace. (The hairs that aren't there anymore.) Fortunately, the hairs in my ears are working overtime trying to make up for the loss. I estimate they grow about one inch per week.

: Dad
: 01-01-12 @ 10:08pm
: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

: Steve Ellen
: 01-02-12 @ 5:00am
: Happy Next Day!

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-02-12 @ 7:08am
: Happy two hours after that!

: Dad
: 01-02-12 @ 10:30am
: Happy I Ain't Gotta Work Today Day!

: drew from sam's townn
: 01-04-12 @ 10:31am
: Happy I do not recall what happened last 3 days. If any body asks where I was, I was here. who doubts?

: Steve Ellen
: 01-04-12 @ 8:01pm
: We got your back, bro.

: Dad
: 01-04-12 @ 11:02pm
: Here's an odd question. What exactly is a blue-footed booby?

: drew from sam's townn
: 01-05-12 @ 6:19am
: Isn't that a booby with a blue foot or feet? I am not drunk!

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-05-12 @ 9:08am
: It's just a seabird with blue feet. It has also been spotted wearing a matching bra. So here's an odd question back, what's up with the Tar Heels?

: Dad
: 01-05-12 @ 9:31pm
: Aren't Tar Heels down?

: Steve Ellen
: 01-06-12 @ 8:13pm
: It's the Tar Toes I worry about. I'm having a seafood party this weekend and I don't want to run out of Tar Toe sauce.

: Dad
: 01-06-12 @ 10:13pm
: While we're on the subject of weird athletic mascots, did you know that the University of Delaware'a teams are chickens? And what the hell is a Hoya and why is it Georgetown's mascot?

: Steve Ellen
: 01-08-12 @ 7:28am
: Apparently it's either a climbing shrub... or the Georgetown mascot!

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-09-12 @ 6:13am
: Well, they couldn't rightly call them Whorrrrrrrrrrrres, now, could they?

: drew from sam's townn
: 01-09-12 @ 9:12am
: Isn't a Hoya related to Oscar De La?

: Steve Ellen
: 01-09-12 @ 9:29pm
: Oscar De La Mayer?

: Dad
: 01-09-12 @ 10:56pm
: Then the song would go, "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar de la Hoya weiner. That is what I truly want to be-ee-ee. 'Cause if I were Oscar de la Hoya weiner,. everyone would be in love with me!"

: drew from sam's townn
: 01-10-12 @ 12:16am
: Who would be crazy enough to be in love with weiner?

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-10-12 @ 6:21am
: I can't stand 'hotdogs' ever since Ralph Nader showed me what they put inside.

: drew from sam's townn
: 01-10-12 @ 7:03am
: Isn't that what Monica Lewinsky said?

: Steve Ellen
: 01-10-12 @ 8:36pm
: They don't put prizes in hot dogs! You must be thinking of Cracker Jacks.

: Dad
: 01-10-12 @ 11:08pm
: I thought Monica Lewinsky said she'd not eat hot dogs after she found out that they put them inside.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-11-12 @ 7:41am
: Rat hairs and boogers? oh my!

: drew from sam's townn
: 01-11-12 @ 8:59am
: Huh!

: Steve Ellen
: 01-11-12 @ 8:17pm
: They haven't offered boogers for prizes since the Great Depression of 1933.

: Dad
: 01-11-12 @ 10:50pm
: It was the Great Depression of 1973. When I found out they put boogers and rat hair in hot dogs. It was 1973 & I was depressed.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-12-12 @ 9:07am
: I was depressed in the 70's. Then my sister Andrea the Giantess got off my head and I straightened up again.

: Steve Ellen
: 01-12-12 @ 8:41pm
: I think I dated her. Was she the one with the butt that needed three seats at the movie theater?

: Dad
: 01-12-12 @ 9:56pm
: Didn't she have the best mustache in the 7th grade?

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-13-12 @ 6:08am
: Ha Ha. The best part was she could buy beer for the 20-year-olds, at 14.

: Steve Ellen
: 01-13-12 @ 5:10pm
: On Halloween we would let her sit in the yard and scare the little trick-or-treaters. But we had to quit that after the Halloween when she ate one of them.

: Dad
: 01-13-12 @ 10:49pm
: Calling her "Gorilla Girl" probably was a little mean and thougtless. To gorillas.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-15-12 @ 7:49am
: When she finally moved to Europe, she caused a great depression there too. Lucky them, eh?

: Dad
: 01-15-12 @ 2:40pm
: I didn't know The Grand Canyon was in Europe! I thought it was in Arizona.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-16-12 @ 9:04am
: No, I was referring to Le Grande Canon - that's in Seine.

: PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters
: 01-18-12 @ 7:34am
: Never mind, eh?

: Steve Ellen
: 01-18-12 @ 8:22pm
: Is that anything like never land?

: Dad
: 01-18-12 @ 10:49pm
: only that they both begin with the letter N, end with D and have the same number of letters.

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