: Steve Ellen
: 03-26-08 @ 9:58am
: Fine Print: I hope you like porn.

: Steve Ellen
: 03-26-08 @ 9:59am
: Product: a fine-toothed comb

: Steve Ellen
: 03-29-08 @ 7:23am
: Fine print: Do not put in mouth. Do not confuse with jigsaw. Your jingasa was handmade in Edo by retired Geisha.

: Steve Ellen
: 03-29-08 @ 7:25am
: Product: instant mashed potatoes

: Steve Ellen
: 03-30-08 @ 7:48am
: Fine print: For god's sake keep your fingers out of the way! We've had so many of these things returned because of snipped off fingers that I don't know how much longer we can keep selling them.

: Steve Ellen
: 03-30-08 @ 7:50am
: Product: mint-flavored mouth wash

: Steve Ellen
: 03-31-08 @ 4:04am
: Fine print: We are not responsible for whatever hatches out of these eggs. One thing we do know - it ain't bunnies.

: Steve Ellen
: 03-31-08 @ 4:06am
: Product: chrome-plated ice cream scooper

: Steve Ellen
: 04-01-08 @ 9:42am
: Fine print: Our Customer Service Department is no longer answering letters asking why we inject our turkeys with coffee. Just don't buy them if you don't understand the concept! And be sure to try our new chocolate turkey.

: Steve Ellen
: 04-01-08 @ 9:46am
: Product: meat thermometer

: Spink - Engaged!
: 04-03-08 @ 7:56am
: Product: Bag o' Monkeys

: Steve Ellen
: 04-03-08 @ 8:05am
: Fine Print: Contents of bag may settle during shipping. Bag was full when shipped. Remove dead monkeys before using. Wash thoroughly.

: Steve Ellen
: 04-03-08 @ 8:15am
: Product: head of cabbage

: Spink - Engaged!
: 04-09-08 @ 8:02am
: This cabbage has been promoted through the ranks to become Head Cabbage of the Cabbage Counsel. Respect the cabbage.

: Spink - Engaged!
: 04-09-08 @ 8:03am
: Product: Indecently shaped carrot.

: Steve Ellen
: 04-10-08 @ 10:21am
: Fine print: Approved by Bugs Bunny and Roger Rabbit. Try our other erotic vegetables: the too long turnip, our zuchini of ecstasy, and for you guys, our new soft squishy cantaloupe.

: Steve Ellen
: 04-10-08 @ 10:22am
: Product: A jar of jelly beans

: Steve Ellen
: 04-13-08 @ 7:12am
: Fine print: Some mosquitoes may be attracted instead of repelled. Please ignore them. Every species has a few perverts. Fortunately, they will not bite. They only want to lick the repellent off your arm.

: Steve Ellen
: 04-13-08 @ 7:23am
: Product: smoked ham

: Steve Ellen
: 04-14-08 @ 3:42am
: Fine print: Some ants may not be completely covered. We tried to cover all of them, but putting chocolate on ants is a really tedious job. You have to use these really tiny chocolate brushes and hold a magnifying glass. Really, we did the best we could.

: Steve Ellen
: 04-14-08 @ 3:44am
: a big fluffy pillow

: Simplicity-In-A-Jar
: 04-28-08 @ 3:58pm
: Fine Print: It's not really fluffy, but puffy. Picture measures 3x3 cm, Actual size. Pillow is covered with feathers, pink, artificial, feathers.

: Simplicity-In-A-Jar
: 04-28-08 @ 3:59pm
: Product: Can Of Spam

: Shell
: 04-28-08 @ 8:58pm
: A delete spam button sold seperately

: Shell
: 04-28-08 @ 9:00pm
: Product: Prancing Horse wall ornament

: Simplicity-In-A-Jar
: 04-28-08 @ 9:36pm
: Watch out for stampede. May include whinny-ing in the night.

: Simplicity-In-A-Jar
: 04-28-08 @ 9:37pm
: Product: Steve's Dogbone Action Figure.

: Steve Ellen
: 04-29-08 @ 10:22am
: Fineprint: Not for children.

: Steve Ellen
: 04-29-08 @ 10:23am
: Product: BunnyRabbit's clip-on puffy cotton tail.

: Steve Ellen
: 05-02-08 @ 12:03pm
: Fine print: The signature is genuine but "scrumptious" has a special meaning which we refuse to reveal unless we are required to testify before Congress..

: Shell
: 05-04-08 @ 11:06pm
: OT: I finally have my own sweets! *Jumps for joy*

: Steve Ellen
: 05-05-08 @ 8:18am
: OT: A: Nobody knows what you are talking about. B: Nobody is me. C: Without a C there would be no point in having an A and B.

: Steve Ellen
: 05-06-08 @ 10:25am
: Fine print: Sweets not included.

: Summer... who's she again?
: 05-06-08 @ 12:04pm
: Product: Giant fluffy tiger.

: Steve Ellen
: 05-07-08 @ 9:33am
: Fine Print: Inspect closely for giant fluffy fleas. If found, you must carefully remove the fleas and pick off their fluff and flush them down the toilet. Fluffy fleas float and do not flush well. Remove the fleas' fluff first.

: Steve Ellen
: 05-07-08 @ 9:47am
: Product: underarm deodorant

: Summer... who's she again?
: 05-10-08 @ 10:12am
: We never mentioned the scent, did we? 3 clues: Goes in mouth, goes out rear end, goes in toilet.

: TSC- MIA
: 05-13-08 @ 2:30pm
: Fine print: This is NOT cherry flavored. Do not attempt to eat unless you have a death wish. If so, eat with a cold glass of milk and warm cookies.

: Steve Ellen
: 05-14-08 @ 8:02am
: Product: sidewalk chalk

: Summer... who's she again?
: 05-25-08 @ 1:44pm
: Fine Print: Oopsie, we forgot to include two words: "Made from". Ah well, we did have a low budget for packaging.

: Summer... who's she again?
: 05-25-08 @ 1:49pm
: Product: floral-scented extra-thick perforated tissue paper

: Shell
: 05-30-08 @ 12:22am
: Fine Print: extra thick should concern the tree huggers but we have no problems with that.

: Shell
: 05-30-08 @ 12:23am
: Product: Paper making kit

: Kimberlily
: 05-30-08 @ 1:14am
: Fine Print: Includes templates for: Triangle-shaped and Star-shaped paper. Rectangle temmplate sold seperately.

: Kimberlily
: 05-30-08 @ 1:14am
: Product: Store-Brand Chicken

: Summer... who's she again?
: 05-30-08 @ 12:38pm
: Product: used photo album (have fun!)

: Summer... who's she again?
: 06-30-08 @ 8:19am
: Fine Print: If it breaks, say goodbye to $10 for a $5 case of Sprite.

: Summer... who's she again?
: 06-30-08 @ 8:20am
: Product: Case of Sprite worth $5

: Steve Ellen
: 07-01-08 @ 10:24am
: Fine Print: Bubbles not included.

: Steve Ellen
: 07-01-08 @ 10:29am
: Product: A gallon jar of dill pickles.

: Summer... who's she again?
: 07-01-08 @ 12:18pm
: Fine print: The JAR is one gallon, the PICKLES actually only fill up a pint.

: Summer... who's she again?
: 07-01-08 @ 12:22pm
: Product: Disgruntled ex-candidate for President (American).

: Shell
: 08-03-08 @ 9:47pm
: Fine Print: All requests for refunds will be refused. Buy one and get the next for free.

: Shell
: 08-14-08 @ 10:11pm
: Product: Burgular Alarm

: Summer... who's she again?
: 08-16-08 @ 12:18pm
: Fine print: it's the alarm burglars use to tip themselves off when the houseowner wakes up. Not for security purposes (unless you are a burglar)

: Shell
: 08-20-08 @ 12:01am
: Product: Tracking device

: TG
: 08-20-08 @ 2:43am
: Fine Print: slight wind may disrupt signal. also does not work indoors.

: TG
: 08-20-08 @ 2:45am
: Product: Oil Paint Set

: Mr. Chowda Head
: 08-20-08 @ 7:35am
: Fine print: contains one pint of #6 crude oil so you can paint everything so it looks like oil.

: Mr. Chowda Head
: 08-20-08 @ 7:35am
: Product: Start Your Own Sardine Farm Kit

: TG
: 08-22-08 @ 12:22am
: Fine Print: Sardines not included

: TG
: 08-22-08 @ 12:23am
: Product: Build by Numbers Art Easel

: Sherri the Writer
: 08-22-08 @ 3:50pm
: Fine Print: Please translate number by anagram, sold seperately.

: Sherri the Writer
: 08-22-08 @ 3:51pm
: Product: Magnetic compass

: TG
: 08-25-08 @ 8:31am
: Fine Print: Needle sold separately

: TG
: 08-25-08 @ 8:31am
: Product: Pocket size DVD Player

: *~* Pens Thanks Anonymous *~*
: 08-25-08 @ 7:28pm
: Fine Print: Pocket size DVDs yet to be invented.

: *~* Pens Thanks Anonymous *~*
: 08-25-08 @ 7:33pm
: Product: Edible crayons.

: Mr. Chowda Head
: 09-02-08 @ 8:52am
: Fine Print: They bite back.

: Mr. Chowda Head
: 09-02-08 @ 8:54am
: Product: Self Publishing Starter Kit

: Summer... who's she again?
: 12-02-08 @ 10:49am
: Fine Print: The Starter Kit published itself and lost the manuscript. No refunds.

: Summer... who's she again?
: 12-04-08 @ 9:35am
: Product: Chocolate cake

: Mr. Chowda Head
: 12-12-08 @ 5:56am
: Fine print: Sometimes tasts like meatloaf. Product: Christmas Tree Lights

: Summer... who's she again?
: 12-14-08 @ 7:29am
: Fine print: Sets Christmas Tree aLight.

: Summer... who's she again?
: 12-14-08 @ 7:34am
: Product: Complete set of Star Wars movies

: Mr. Chowda Head
: 12-19-08 @ 10:21am
: Fine Print: Repetitive veiwing turns you into an annoying geek who worships Yoda, Laser Sticks, and George Lucas Product: Solar powered electric tooth brush

: Summer... who's she again?
: 12-23-08 @ 10:01am
: Fine print: May burn your gums and electrocute your tongue. Use with caution and for heaven's sake keep away from water!

: catty WDC since 2003 Whew!
: 01-08-09 @ 11:47am
: PRODUCT: First Snow Flake of winter

: catty WDC since 2003 Whew!
: 01-09-09 @ 1:52pm
: FINE PRINT: Not responsible if melting or yellowing occurs once on the ground.

: Summer... who's she again?
: 01-11-09 @ 10:52am
: Product: Rubber glove

: catty WDC since 2003 Whew!
: 01-12-09 @ 10:47am
: FINE PRINT: not responsible if glove is used in place of neoprene or on wrong appendage.

: catty WDC since 2003 Whew!
: 01-13-09 @ 1:08pm
: PRODUCT: Triple ply toilet tissue

: catty WDC since 2003 Whew!
: 01-14-09 @ 12:13pm
: FINE PRINT: Not responsible for heavy use or resulting overflows.

: catty WDC since 2003 Whew!
: 01-15-09 @ 10:36am
: PRODUCT: Self-deleting ML

: catty WDC since 2003 Whew!
: 01-20-09 @ 2:53pm
: FINE PRINT: Not responsible when self-deleting ML codes self delete.

: Shell
: 02-09-09 @ 8:07pm
: Product: bonsai kit

: catty WDC since 2003 Whew!
: 03-18-09 @ 4:32pm
: FINE PRINT: Not responsible when kit kills self and takes out other plants on same shelf.

: Shell
: 04-09-09 @ 12:35am
: Product: Pre-paid internet

: Mr. Chowda Head
: 04-10-09 @ 5:17am
: Fine print: 1200 baud connections Product: Beer Flavored toothpaste

: TSC- MIA
: 05-20-09 @ 2:56pm
: Fine Print: Alcohol content high. do not use before driving, escepecially in the morning.

: Dad
: 05-21-09 @ 10:06pm
: PRODUCT: Elmer's glue

: Louise Alberto McAtee
: 07-09-09 @ 11:46pm
: Fine Print: Caution: Should not be eaten, used in coffee, or smeared on face.

: Louise Alberto McAtee
: 07-10-09 @ 5:39pm
: Product: Book for Men: How to ask for directions.

: Mr. Chowda Head
: 08-10-09 @ 5:06am
: Fine Print: Caution written by a bitter old man-hateing hag jealous of anyone with a sense of direction. Product: Solar powered night vision goggles

: Louise Alberto McAtee
: 09-30-09 @ 6:34pm
: Fine Print: If you buy these we have moon beam sunglasses too

: Louise Alberto McAtee
: 09-30-09 @ 6:37pm
: Product: Seedless grass

: Shell
: 09-13-10 @ 1:13am
: Fine Print: You may think this product is for those with allergies, this is not the case. This product will cause constant sneezing and a big very red, swollen nose.

: Shell
: 09-20-10 @ 1:20am
: Product: Ginger Bubble Gum

: shell
: 05-26-11 @ 2:59am
: Ginger not included.

: shell
: 05-26-11 @ 3:00am
: Product: See through bandaids

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