Note of caution here~ this poem will be hard for many to digest and/or fathom. As many are already aware, I grew up a severely abused child. The hows & whys I survived are to this day unclear to me other than to conclude at some point that I was chosen to heal others as I myself would come to terms with my horrific past. I'm only guesstimating though, for in all reality, I shouldn't be alive. While you were most probably celebrating your third birthday on the back of a pretty white pony, I, on the other hand, was not so fortunate. However, writing since the tender age of nine saved my life, as did my bond with nature and animals ~ they were the outlet to face head-on my spiritual demons. Despite what tragedies I have endured, I consider myself a Survivor today, no longer that innocent Victim shoved from the winds of cruel fate. The scars are still there, deep inside, but I have managed to pull through what most would have succumbed beneath. No, I am by no means Super Woman or Special. But for some reason, God saved me and I'm here today as living (damaged) proof!
This haunting poem is the title Poem for my Fourth Book, "The Ragdoll Chronicles" which is with the Publisher now and soon to be released.
All the world is not toys and peppermint. Some of us learned much too early the darkness that lurks behind false smiles of human nature, and that candy was meant to lure . . . . but not often derived from motives spawned of pure, simple love.
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A life no less dismembered
finds its prosthetics from
the gift of words.
So may I run from you ~
at the same time, forever towards you ....
~ 11/1/07, by Susan Joyner-Stumpf
Author of "The Ragdoll Chronicles"
THE RAGDOLL CHRONICLES
No chant of soothing "mommy" words
strings of ruptured voices, yes
adorn fiery air like jeweled- revulsion
screams muddled behind a hunter's hum
nothing close to comfort, only a foul hiss
seeping out of meadows safe, and beyond
fears plagued my ragdoll senses
please, make it go away
yet monsters would tumble forth towards me
at phantom nano-speed
cast at the helm of stenched wrath
tucked inside bowels of their insatiable
hungering, devouring spree
God, I would whisper, softly
in childish cracks of torn whimper
is there no rainbow to magically capture
where's my kingdom of honey-rapture
no white ponies to ride away, only yearn for
whatever mirage of happiness came before
leaves its broken wings for me to find
as I mend pangs of rumpled, injured time
tears swept away by a motherless wind
blanketing me from fingers of itching sin
haunting me in hidden shadows of human lichen
pretending I was dead; all movement ceased
perhaps they would move on to live victims
please, make it go away
remove the footfalls of this hounding beast
it would come for me, find the invisible, fetal curl
unravel my worst nightmares out of innocent pearl
Torture travels in victims' blood
leaves imprints of its flow diminished; thawed
up from scabs of memories, I weakly clawed
find a way out of mental dismemberment
forgotten soups of pain poured from luring peppermint
sprawling like a colt without strength of legs
to carry forth its journey to save itself
now adult hostage to history doomed to repeat
her song of eternal gloom
please, make it go away
I've managed to survive in a desert bloom
monsters walking by keep on going
playing dead in life's slaughter room
a ragdoll spawn of many slivered moons
calling nature back like her ghost children
back to my empty, waiting, womb.
~ ~
"The Ragdoll Chronicles" is back with my same publisher for "Tortured Light," PublishAmerica. I was not going to go back with PA, but as it happened, while "Crimson Whispers" is currently with a publisher named AuthorHouse, I was, in fact, searching for another publisher for my fourth book. PA contacted me and asked if I had another manuscript to be published, and so timing is everything, and I decided, well, heck, let's go for it, so, they have "The Ragdoll Chronicles" in their possession and is available now at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble and Broders.com. This book is a first for me combining poetry with Short Stories and Lyrics.
For my fifth book, "Fatal Drums," also in the works, I may attempt to self-publish (as many friends on WDC here have) with Lulu.com but I am not sure I have the time to self-publish. If I do, I will graciously assist the help of Jimmyfin and Bobbie, two friends of mine on this site who have successfully had their own great books promoted by Lulu.com. Self-publishing can be a daunting task and one has to do a lot of work on their own in production, but I think with these two fine authors, they will walk me through Lulu.com for my fifth book.
Check out my very interactive Port where there are also c-Note Shops and Graphics for sale and I'm sure you will find something you like. I am a Certified Webpage Designer, an Amateur Graphics Artist, and, as many of you know, I'm also a Published Author.
Rate and Review ""The Ragdoll Chronicles" now availale!" #1497024
