"Flee ~ What Purp wants to do every time Glee is on."

"We're Not Gonna Make It ~ After their huge hit song, Twisted Sister kept trying to have another, but none broke the Top 40"

"We're Not Gonna Bake it ~ Then they tried a cooking show"

"We're Not Gonna Rake It ~ What they sing in autumn"

"We're Not Gonna Tape It ~ Their decision to stop recording videos was a major one."

""We're Not Gonna Toke It" Yeah right."

"Avatart - A cast of Cockney characters running a breakfast nook for the wealthy on their way to work. The title is what they ask as they hawk their wares on the street."

"OT: I goofed. "We're Not Gonna Fake It" - the all-female tribute band Twisted Brother sings about not faking orgasms."

"Avatard ~ Those who think that the scenario in "Avatar" could actually happen."

"O.T. - Ravey - though for sure you were going to go with the clothing they wear! Avatard - new and improved, somes in assorted colors, not just blue."

"Valentine's Doy - Like an IDOT, I forgot to get you something. Doyyyy."

"Broodway - the place where actors and actresses go to commiserate after their on-stage failures."

"The Beagles ~ a tribute group that actually sang "Flies in the Vaseline""

"Of Mice And Meh - A lolcatz story that can finally be published, in today's enlightened age of cat worshipping."

"Of Rice And Men - A talented east-Asian cook tells all in this autobiography."

"Wuthering Weights - A new fitness club has opened in town. Heathcliff is looking good in that Under Armour^TM outfit. What will Cathy do? "

"We're Not Gonna Tyke it ~ I'm not off that kick yet. In this rendition, they all have vasectomies under local anaesthetics - they've screamed enough!"

"Withering Heights ~ turns out ol' Heathcliff is afraid of heights, and faints even on his tippytoes."

"The Editing Vroom - a new In/Out designed to combine the fine art of proofreading with the heartpounding action of Nascar circuit racing."

"BlankBerry - what happens when your sophisticated phone suddenly wipes all its memory for no reason."

"BlackBarry ~ Barry White's other nickname."

"BlockBerry - the phone so sophisticated, everyone on your block can use it at the same time!"

"Of Mick And Men - Ronnie Wood, guitarist of the Rolling Stones, explains in his new book how Mr. Jagger differs from most guys."

"Avatarp ~ It's been an especially rainy season and the tarp that covers the baseball field on Avatar is getting worn out, prompting team owners to ask "'Ave a tarp?""

"The Land That Rocks The Cradle - A documentary about the fault lines in California."

"How Stella Got Her Groovy Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot's autobiography and his recollection of his first girlfriend Stella."

"The Hand That Docks The Cradle - A new documentary about an ocean-gong cradle and the one person who can bring it to shore."

"The Glue Lagoon - A coming of age story where two kids become trapped in an old glue factory and learn to deal with a sticky situation together."

"The Bluet Lagoon - A nature documentary about how these amazing little flowers can grow just about anywhere."

"The Farts of Life - Breaking wind in a Girls boarding school"

"The Facts of Lie - Gotta remember your story, and keep the facts of the lie straight, or people whill know when you aren't playing it straight."

"The Pacts Of Life - those little things we all do to get us through encounters with nefarious creatures."

"The Can From Atlantis: A nature documentary about ocean pollution."

"Nudge Judy - A chance for convicted felons to push the judge onto her ass."

"The Fast Unicorn - The story of an unlikely contender for the Kentucky Derby. Sponsored by Red Bull."

"Fudge Judy ~ A trans-gender judge, formerly known as Jude, Takes on cases other judges reject. Filmed in San Fransisco."

"Judge Rudy - A sex-change isn't enough to hold her .. I mean... Him back."

"Budge Judy ~ It's actually a game show, as malefactors attempt to change the judge's mind. The first contestant to make her consider another position for even the slightest of moments WINS!"

"American Lickers - Two guys travel around various parts of the country in search of things to lick. "

"Prank Sinatra - what you wouldn't dare do, unless you knew you could get away with it."

"Dip Hard ~ A heartwarming story about northern Michiganders doing the "Polar Bear Dip" plunge in Houghton Lake."

"Die Herd - When the rancher says, "That's it. I quit," a herd of cows suddenly walk off the set."

"Goldilocks and the Three Bars - A single mother, she works three jobs to make ends meet, all in local bars and pubs. "

"Die, Ward: The Beaver gets his revenge on his mamby-pamby father."

"Die Pard - It's the 1800s and we're stuck in another stupid western. But it's Bruce Willis at his best, saving the country from terrorists. And rustlers. "

"Goldilocks and the Three Bares - An overly curious young lady stumbles upon a remote nudist colony and sees things that can't be unseen."

"The Hand That Rocks the Dradle ~ OK, so I can't spell Dreidle ... Dreidal ... whatever, it's the story of a Jewish boy who cheats at spinning the dradel ... draytal ... donkey ... whatever"

"The Hand That Socks The Cradle ~ The story of a man so obsessed with socks, he puts them everywhere. One time his wife got back from grocery shopping, and couldn't put the baby down for a nap because his crib was full of tube socks."

"Bass Effect 3 - The latest video game due out in March, fight off The Fishers, a race that takes other races and makes them into fishing poles."

"990 Luft Ballons ~ we thought 99 Luft Ballons was about the Russians, & they thought it was about us. Now, with 10 times the balloons, it can be about us, the Russkies, the Chinese, the Israelis, and 6 different Arab countries, all at the same time!"

"Slow White - Will the princess ever figure out the Evil Queen is trying to kill her? How many murder attempts will it take before she realizes her life is in danger? And why did they film the whole movie in slow motion??"

"Washington, BC - The entire District of Columbia is somehow thrust back to the Stone Age. But nobody notices, apart from one congressman's page. But it's too late. "

"Jew York, Jew York ~ An uplifting musical about a jewish Deli owner"

"New Dork, New York - Another sad comedy about life in the Big Apple, with a bite taken out for good measure."

"Mite Romney: He has to get cream for that."

"Mist Romney - What we see."

"Mit Romney ~ He can't make up his mind if hie's a fielder's mit, a first baseman's mit, or a catcher's mit. He wans to be the one mit that works for everybody."

"Titt Romney - What a boob!"

"Spikerman - Bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker turns from innocent student into superior beach volleyball player in a matter of minutes."

"Spinerman ~ Brent Spiner's (he played Data on Star Trek, The Next Generation) favorite nickname."

"The Grateful Dad - An up-and-coming band that celebrates fatherhood in all its songs. Their hit song: Better Off Dad."

"The Grateful Deaf ~ Henry is glad he's hard of hearing, because his wife is nagging him again."

"The Grateful Dread - A reggae band covers all the greatest hits. (See Dread Zeppelin for a real one.)"

"The Grapeful Dead ~ They drink nothing by wine"

"Faulty Towers - A Britcom featuring an overly anxious and easily excitable building inspector."

"Fawlty Powers ~ Same show, featuring Austin Powers in the lead. "

"Monty Python's Frying Circus - What the lads did after they quit the Flying Circus."

"Ped Zepplin ~ Eveybody at their concerts get an exercize bike, each hooked to a generator. It's how they make the electricity to power their instruments!"

"Ted Zeppelin - Ted Nugent, the aging rocker, teams up with the remaining boys of Led Zeppelin to create a super(old)-band."

"Loghat ~ A bunch of s***heads from the seventies try to sing again."

"The Dookie Brothers - Somewhat popular band of the 70s, best known for their bathroom humor song 'S*** Keeps You Runnin''."

"The Commohores ~ A seventies band that consists of reformed prostitutes. "

"The Home Despot - A massive store catering to the construction industry of slightly insane political leaders. "

"Rodio - The failed attempt to sell the Rodeo on the Radio."

"Tradio ~ A rummage sale-like swap shop done on the radio. Note: This one is real! I hosted it years ago when I was a dj in Pennsylvania "

"Walk-Mart - what you'll have to do in this megastore, to find the shoelaces or one tube of toothpaste."

"Wreath of the Titans - The third in the sequel, this one due out at Christmas."

"Wrath of the Kitans ~ About the sport of Extreme Kite Flying."

"Bleeping Beauty - A tale of a vulgar young princess whose cursing gets her cursed!"

"Dick and Zane - Brokeback Mountain meets elementary school primer."

"Hick and Jane ~ The same premise, only in a southern US setting."

"Barfey - Not a purple dinosaur, a technicolor one."

"The Princess Bribe - Age-old tale, retold with a 21st century twist. Instead of marrying the princess, our hero bribes his way out of the marriage. He runs away with a lowly chambermaid instead. "

"The Princess Bridle - This time, she's a filly. True, horses usually aren't princesses, but in this adaptation, she is! Hilarity ensues as our hero tries to hide his love for her well-rounded rear."

"The Princess Tribe ~ Every member of the tribe is young, female, and extremely spoiled. Paris Hilton would be right at home. Nothing ever gets done, but who cares! As long as they can go shopping!"

"Poop Tarts - The breakfast treat guaranteed to end all of your colon woes! Now with extra fiber."

"The Day The Hearth Stood Still - A heart-warming story about a hearth that kept a family warm through many generations atop a craggy knoll in eastern Kentucky. And then, it stopped warming them, suddenly, without warning."

"Three Men and a Barby - Okay, so I can't name you three Australian actors off the top of my head. Can you?"

"The Princess Pride - A woman grows up thinking she's the shizzle. Pride goeth before the fall."

"Star Spangled Banter - When the Hollywood Hos starlets get together to just chit-chat."

"Bark Shadows - a vampire dog is brought back to the land of the living. Hilarity, unfortunately, does NOT ensue."

"The Green Bay Parkers ~ They are the guys out in the parking lot of Lambeau Field, telling you where to stop your car."

"Watch Me If You Can - The in-depth behind-the-scenes story about an adult film star."

"Green Day Packers ~ not sure if we've done this one before, but if not, they are the guys who puts Green Day's latest CD back into the packing crates to send them back to the distributors after they haven't sold because they suck."

"Chicago Dears ~ Chicago's entry in the new Homosexual Football League"

"San Francisco 69ers ~ San Francisco's entry int he HFL. Other teams are the Green Bay Fudge Packers, The New England Patsies, the St. Louis Lambs, and the Pittsburgh Feelers"

"Detroit Liens - a right to retain possession of another's property pending discharge of a debt - was bound to happen sooner or later in the stricken Motor City."

"Lice Krispies - A breakfast cereal popular among lower primates."

"Loco Puffs - the new breakfast cereal loaded with THC."

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