"Shoot for the stars, and if you fail, you can still tell people you're an astronaut."

"The touch of evil is soft and cool like a mouse's nose. Instead of giggling, you should snatch it up and chew off its ears."

"Even a slight breeze is strong enough to get plastic grocery bags tangled in the oleanders."

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. "

"This statement is false."

"It was me."

"Desperation is the father of invention. "

"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.~ Homer Simpson "

"Contrary to popular belief, life never actually gives you lemon."

"When life gives you lemons, eat them!"

"It is impossible for everything to go wrong at the same time because we are always moving through time."

"Statics tells me that if I have one hand on an ice block and the other on a red-hot burner, on the average I'm comfortable."

"The existence of a pebble is quick! So goes the essence of the green arrow -->."

"Can you have self-control without also having a split personality?"

"“Duct tape can’t fix stupidity, but it can silence it” — Quoted from Facebook!"

"Idiots are stupid. "

"Leadership is not about capability, it's about responsibility."

"Hear of not what you can see. "Invalid Item" "

"The scratching you hear at night is most likely not an illusion."

"In the grand scheme of things, we are merely a dust mote dreaming of changing the grand scheme of things. "

"Yellow raincoats foretell of emerging technologies from the 1800’s"

"Life is supremely fair in its supreme unfairness."

"Every time a bell rings. . . . a bell rings! "

"BINGO BLITZ!"

"Every time a duck quacks, a Star Wars fan curses the invention of midichlorians. Quack. Quack. Quack. Quack."

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