Who: Bucolica
When: 09-02-10 @ 8:39pm
What: A peeling contest involving freak bananas had never been held in a fourth-world country.

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 09-03-10 @ 1:09pm
What: "Try this one," the scorekeeper said, as he handed out a three-foot-long banana that had a mouth full of sharp teeth. "I should warn you that it's trained to resist being peeled. Watch your fingers."

Who: SharotheFantasyWriter
When: 09-10-10 @ 8:42pm
What: "Watch your fingers" said a random onlooker, watching a game of Five-Finger Fillet between three blind men.

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 09-11-10 @ 6:29am
What: Three blind men had three blind mice who liked to chase the farmer's wife.

Who: Bucolica
When: 09-11-10 @ 10:41am
What: The farmer's wife was fairly certain that the three blind mice didn't have "a roll in the hay" in mind.

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 09-11-10 @ 4:59pm
What: Mind you, she didn't completely exclude it, she just thought that, being blind, they would probably fumble when they tried to put on those tiny little condoms.

Who: SharotheFantasyWriter
When: 09-14-10 @ 2:31am
What: Tiny little condoms aren't easy to find, either. They had to be specially made out of empty pill capsules.

Who: SharotheFantasyWriter
When: 09-29-10 @ 8:08pm
What: Only empty pill capsules? But I've got a headache from killing this thread!

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 09-30-10 @ 5:05am
What: This thread died when the new adult version was created. (called: What Was Last Is Still First)

Who: Bucolica
When: 10-06-10 @ 8:18am
What: First into the center ring was the troupe of seven white geldings with daredevils on the huge horses' bare backs

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 10-06-10 @ 8:56am
What: Back stage the stage mothers were wringing their hands and worrying a lot and saying things like, "Suzy! Don't forget to smile!"

Who: barndoor
When: 12-29-10 @ 3:49pm
What: 'Smile you ungrateful wretches, these people put food on our table, if I had a dime for every time I had to wring your necks...

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 12-30-10 @ 10:04am
What: "R. Neck" said the label on the hillbilly's mailbox. The mailman scratched his head. "Gol-lee! Talkin' mailbox labels! What will they think of next?"

Who: Aimster
When: 12-31-10 @ 2:13am
What: "Next to the purple bottle of shampoo!" yelled Dan's Mother from the kitchen. Why oh why hadn't he just bought his own?

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 12-31-10 @ 9:19am
What: "Ow! Next to the shampoo was a razor blade!" Dan cried. His mother came into the bathroom and said, "Not RIGHT next to it. Here!" And she handed him the vaseline. "Thanks, Mom," Dan said. "If my eyes were snakes they would lay eggs in my brain."

Who: Aimster
When: 01-01-11 @ 8:02am
What: "Brain surgery!" Exclaimed Peter shocked at the stranger on the phone's suggestion, "but I can't perform brain surgery, I'm an out of work trolley boy! I failed human biology and can't tell the difference between a kidney and a liver.

Who: Aimster
When: 01-01-11 @ 8:06am
What: "Liver is what that man next to you wants to be," replied the calm, but frustrated man on the phone. "You don't understand, I can't do this! I'm sorry you'll have to get someone else!" "No I'm sorry because if you don't do this that man will die!"

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 01-01-11 @ 11:06am
What: "That man will die no matter WHAT you do!" replied the calm, but annoyed, voice on the phone. Peter gave the matter some thought. " I could put him on the trolley and take him to a hospital?" The calm, but disgruntled, voice on the phone said, "Do that."

Who: Aimster
When: 01-02-11 @ 5:19am
What: "That trolley sir... I need your trolley... quickly", yelled Peter as he swiftly approached the old man in the trolley bay. "No! It's mine!"

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 01-02-11 @ 12:53pm
What: "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!" Peter sang at the top of his lungs and the old trollyman shrank back and said, "Here! Take the darn trolley! You're crazy!" Peter smirked. "You're lucky I didn't trample on your grapes, old man."

Who: Aimster
When: 01-10-11 @ 7:50am
What: "Managed to find a trolley! Now what do I do?"

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 01-10-11 @ 10:21am
What: "Do what your heart tells you. And if your heart won't talk, then ask your liver."

Who: Aimster
When: 01-13-11 @ 5:56am
What: "Liver? What the hell..." Just then Peter's phone cut out, "shit! Now what?"

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 01-13-11 @ 10:46am
What: "Whatever you like..." said a sultry voice behind him. Peter whirled around to see a beautiful blonde woman dressed in a sexy gown sitting on one of the trolley seats. His mouth fell open. "How did you get in here?"

Who: Aimster
When: 01-15-11 @ 7:14am
What: Her evening gown shimmered heroically, as she stood seductively revealling her cleavage. Peter hid himself surprised by the greeting. "Don't be shy," she practically purred the words to him, "Can I give you a hand?"

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 01-15-11 @ 9:22am
What: "A hand?" he gulped. "Er... what do you mean by give me a hand?" She giggled. "If you want that kind of hand I can give it. My, you have such nice smooth trousers."

Who: Aimster
When: 01-16-11 @ 8:35pm
What: "Trousers? That's it!" With that Peter pulled off his trousers and turned back to the man on his back, "Give me a hand, please, we need your help!"

Who: Paige has found her muse!
When: 02-02-11 @ 7:24pm
What: 'Help! I need somebodyyy...not just anybooddyy, you know I need someone...' the man drunkenly warbled.

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 02-03-11 @ 8:12am
What: "War bled us dry," an old codger in a side seat mumbled. "Taxes were outrageous. And the enemy was relentless." Peter frowned. "I thought the enemy was radical extremeism?" The old codger waved his cane and yelled, "That's what they WANT you to believe!"

Who: sarge
When: 02-26-11 @ 1:03am
What: do you want to believe what i just said?

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 03-19-11 @ 9:17am
What: Barney brushed the crumbs off his purple fuzz suit and started singing: "I love you. You love me. We're a happy..."

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 03-20-11 @ 10:57am
What: Live TV is better than dead TV, isn't it?

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 03-21-11 @ 10:04am
What: It will if enough viewers write in and demand it.

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 03-21-11 @ 11:00pm
What: They zombies. These, on the other hand, are yombies: yombies yombies yombies yombies.

Who: Bucolica
When: 03-22-11 @ 7:16am
What: I estimate we've used up our quota of neologisms.

Who: Mr. Chowda Head
When: 03-22-11 @ 7:37am
What: Is 'ms.dos' still used anywhere? What about punch card readers for FORTRAN programs?

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 03-23-11 @ 9:36pm
What: That is "What's Last Is First" so don't forget the one and only rule you need to follow when you post. And yes, MS DOS and FORTRAN are still in use.

Who: Joan
When: 04-06-11 @ 4:47pm
What: Use computer language, not me! Me don't know what you guys are talking about!

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 04-06-11 @ 9:30pm
What: About obsolete computer languages I will speak no more!

Who: Mrs. Penguin
When: 06-11-11 @ 1:05pm
What: More information please, I'm a little confused.

Who: GMartin
When: 07-03-11 @ 10:56pm
What: "Confused?" She said as she leveled the baretta at his chest. "Let me clarify it for you."

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 07-04-11 @ 4:33am
What: "You see that?" the coroner said at the autopsy. "On his face there seems to be the look of a man who understands everything."

Who: Kalliope
When: 08-04-11 @ 10:28pm
What: Everything is not always what it seems.

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 08-05-11 @ 10:48pm
What: Seems to me that everything is not even always everything. Such is the world we live in: incomplete, ambiguous, and sometimes far too humid.

Who: Kalliope
When: 08-05-11 @ 11:08pm
What: Humid is right! Ohio was hotter than Florida last month because of it, but then again my pregnancy hormones could've exacerbated the situation.

Who: Makae
When: 08-16-11 @ 2:25pm
What: situations are usualy bad but this one is just peachy bleachy keen

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 08-16-11 @ 3:06pm
What: Keen eyes, steady nerves, and no fear of dying are all qualities that the would-be gunslinger needs to have. Also a gun and some bullets.

Who: Craig H
When: 09-04-11 @ 1:55pm
What: Bullets are best served warm with some liver and a dash of red sauce.

Who: thatoneperson
When: 09-16-11 @ 3:33pm
What: "Red sauce on pancakes don't go together! I mean Honestly Jacob, What are they teaching you in school?" Cried his mother. Look at Peter!

Who: Steve Ellen
When: 09-16-11 @ 11:16pm
What: "Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater!" Jacob yelled and his mother cuffed him. "Jacob! I told you not to hurl insults at children who eat vegetables from the Squash family."

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