"#5 In the Top Ten In&Out. No one ever goes there."

"#4 Beside Waldo's girlfriend. Not even Waldo has found her!"

"#3 In a Santa Claus costume. Not even aliens would hurt Santa! "

"#2 In the IN at the top of this In&Out that's about to become an OUT just as soon as I post this."

"#1 Right out in the open. They'll never, ever think to look in the most obvious of places"

"Top Ten Reactions To The Just-Concluded American Elections"

"#10 Thank God they are finally over"

"#9 We voted on something? What did we vote on?"

"#8 You guys had an election over there? Oh, right ..."

"#7 Yayyy! Major changes! ... Oh... wait a minute... never mind..."

"# 6 "Marla, Pack the Car! I'm gonna get me some marijana""

"#5 Yeah yeah yeah, vote. Uh huh. Now let's get back to something important, like the next season of America's Top Model."

"#4 Why do we even bother? All politicians are the same. I wish my friend Adam had won the state rep vote, but Gene's been in there over 26 years and Adam's a nobody. He did get 33% of the votes though!"

"#3 Gene has to die someday. Politics is the only profession where retirement age means NOTHING. Oh, and maybe the ministry."

"#2 "Thought that freakin' saga would NEVER end." Talking of which ... ?"

"#1 Can't we just shoot them all and start over?"

"The Top Ten Ways to Pass the Time while waiting for someone to post a topic for the next Top Ten List"

"#10 Experiment with WritingML."

"#9 Watch our fingernails grow"

"#8 Wonder why my new costumicon makes me feel like Batman's archnemesis The Riddler. (Thanks, catty!)"

"#7 Wonders why Dad doesn't visit the costumicon page and get himself a costumicon that doesn't broadcast "I don't know how to change my costumicon!" to the whole world."

"#6 Sits and wonders if Dad and Steve are as crazy in real life as they portray themselves online. Then goes out for a smoke."

"#5 Sit and try to decide if Pengy likes her tobacco regular, menthol, or wacky"

"#4 Try to figure out where the costumicon page is "

"#3 Wonders if anyone helpful will email costumicon changing instructions to Dad."

"#2 Thinks, Heck, nobody's posted a new topic yet, let him steam for a while. "

"#1 Suddenly get an awesome exciting for a new list ... then your connection goes down and by the time you're back online you've forgotten your so you just post another lame topic instead ..."

"#10 Top Ten Costumicons to give Dad for Christmas"

"#10 A Toulouse-lautrec broad dancing the can-can "

"#9 It's too bad there isn't a blank costumicon. That would be perfect for him."

"OT That should actually read: "#10 A Toulouse-lautrec fat broad dancing the can-can ""

"#8 A costumicon with lots of children on it because I have only one."

"#7 A picture of catty. She bought it for me."

"#6 Penguins, cuz he wants to be like me!"

"#5 Turnips, because you waited too long to shop and got stuck with the last available costumicon."

"#4 One with lots of pairs of red, green and purple striped, polkadot socks on it to remind him of what his dear old departed Great Aunt Matilda used to give him every year."

"#3 One with 10,000 ties. Everybody knows that the best gift to give a dad is another tie, which is just what every dad wants."

"Top Ten Reasons I Hadn't Reviewed This Before"

"OT: Ignore the post titled "Top Ten Reasons I Hadn't Reviewed This Before" It doesn't belong here."

"#2 A costumicon labeled with the numbers from 10 to 1 would come in handy for him."

"#1 One with a picture of Mom on it, of course."

"Top Ten Presents Ms Penguin Will Get For Christmas"

"#10 Fish. Duh!"

"#9 That super comfortable bra they keep advertising on late night infomercials that I watch with fascination."

"#8 Something to put into the bra (Oh, Dad, you are wicked tonight)"

"#7 A harem of hot men with lots of stamina. Please? (I have plenty to put in it, Dad. But, I heard those bras don't work well for larger busted women)"

"#6 (Tell that to the bra models they are using. They ain't skinny!) ... Pearls. Don't get excited. You aren't really getting any pearls, but I thought one out of the10 gifts should be something nice, or at least something that you can pawn for cash."

"#5 Cash (Notice how I never said I'd be giving her cash. Just that she might possibly kinda could be maybe pretty please with sugar on it maybe might get)"

"#4 A life-size 'The Penguin' action figure from the Batman series - with kung-fu grip and a removable, vibrating umbrella. "

"#3 A life-size vibrating umberlla."

"#2 A case of vodka, a case of tequila, a case of diet coke and a bag of limes!"

"#1 A little memory book to remind her of her name and address and any other details of her life that she might lose as all her brain cells are gradually consumed by alcohol."

"Top Ten Midwinter Vacation Trips You Would Be Glad To Win On A Game Show"

"#10 Florida. "

"#9 You know that "Atlantis" place they keep advertising on cable with the dolphins and the special deals and the clear blue Caribbean waters and especially that chick in the bikini at the end of the ad?"

"#8 Nassau in the Bahamas. Went there when I was 8,. Loved it!!!"

"#7 St. Thomas, Ste. Maarten, St. Croix, St. John, St. Vincent, but not the Grenadines"

"#6 Costa Rica with a side trip to Jurrassic Park."

"#5 Any place that does not include the phrase "State Prison," "Federal Correctional Institution," or "Work Camp" in its title."

"#4 A trip to another Game Show to win a Mid summer's vacation."

"#3 A vacation on TopTenList Island - unvisited by any other human being throughout the entire winter months"

"#2 A one-way ticket to Spring."

"#1 an all-Expense paid trip to the Top Ten List I/O"

"Top Ten Successful Lines to Try to Get Catty into the Sack"

"#10 Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...."

"#9 Your place?: My place? Maybe the bar restroom?"

"#8 Oh, I almost forgot, I've got something for you."

"#7 Get in this sack right now!"

"#6 Let's play presidential intern!"

"#5 Hey catty! Wanna see something you've never seen before?"

"#4 Respect you in the morning? Hell's bells, I don't respect you NOW!"

"#3 hey, catty! Do you wanna...>>> ,,,, >>>.... How'd you get naked and ?into bed that quick"

"#2 Hey, catty! Have you ever heard of that game that involves a long stick, balls, and a hole? (I AM, of course, referring to gold (or billiards))"

"OT: I meant, of course, golf, not gold. !#@$*()@},/{)@ tyops"

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