"She: You wouldn't want to bet on that, fella. Now, get your muddy shoes off my satin sheets."

"He:Yeah,she bought satin sheets.Satin Sheets!Ever try them?Your pillow will slide from under your head first.You actually can't stay on the bed.You'll find yourself on the floor in the morning!"

"He: Golleee! Them thangs are strange. Do you thank they's got a mother ship somewhere? What are they doing now? 'At's a mite strange what they a doing now."

"She: Why are all the good men taken? (And sometimes by bad women?)"

"He: Maybe because they're not that good after all."

"It: Where are the good men taken?"

"She: To places they never return from."

"It: I'm sensing a lot of hostility here. Particularly related to this special soup stirring stick."

"He: Hehehehehe......."

"He: Hey Baby, I've got a stick for ya! She: *snorts* You call THAT a stick? It: I don't understand this stick business."

"He: Aww honeybutt, you don't need that there buzzin stick, you got me! She: I know I have you, that is precisely WHY I need this buzzin stick! It: It's all tingly :)"

"He: "Say darlin, when's supper gonna be ready?" She: "As soon as you take yourself in the kitchen and cook it." It: "He's making hot dogs again isn't he?" She: "Yes!""

"It: I have neither hair nor an ass, does that turn anyone on?"

"He: "Hey baby, why don't you come on over here and gimme some sugar?" She: "Why don't you go take a shower and brush your teeth and I'll think about it sometime!" "

"He: Women! You can't live with em and you can't live with em."

"It: Am I mistaken or is that redundant?"

"She: Rudundancy is what a real man is all about. Sometimes that can be a good thing! "

"He: " We gotta stop at Home Depot on the way to Best Buy!" (while thinking OH BOY a day in heaven!)"

"It:I am considering recommending to my home world that we eliminate one of your earth genders to stop this endless and chaotic dialog. I have not decided for sure yet..or which sex should go if that becomes the answer..."

"It: I've decided both sexes deserve each other. I'm the one that doesn't deserve this kind of mental abuse. "

"He: Hey Woman, it's Monday morning, how about a little breakfast before I face the world? She: Sorry, quickies are not on the house menu."

"He: Honey will you grab me a pack of cigs? He: Will you pack them? He: Will you open them for me? She: Do you want me to smoke the damn things too???"

"He: "Oh baby you were really screaming my name while we were makin love tonight, I liked it" She: "Don't flatter yourself, my hair was caught in the headboard""

"She: "Why won't you cuddle anymore?" He: "Why do we always have to cuddle before you'll give it up?""

"It: "How do turn the oven on?" He: "We have an oven?" She: "Honey it's the thing I keep asking you to put your head in""

"It: Can you explain the difference between having sex and making love? She: It's all in the presentation. He: Well I've presented it just about every way I can think of and she still calls it raunchy sex. "

"She: Sweetie, would you grab that can off the top shelf for me? He: Get a chair. It: Go go gadget arm."

"He: There's something amiss here. She: You mean me? It: You haven't been a "miss" since you married that no-good bum you call a husband. She: That doesn't sound very "Spockish"."

"He: It has a sprocket loose. She: It has pockets? It: LOOSE! As in loser, which you married. He: Lose her? Bad advice, Spock. It: Ohhh, cheese and rice... I .. am .. not .. Spock!"

"It: "Why must you always call me "IT"! I have a name you know and it aint spock!" "

"He: "Well then what is your name little buddy?""

"It: "Now you ask, after all this time! After all we've been through!""

"HE: We have been through a lot, haven't we? Blood, guts, sweat, and tears. SHE: Oh, you make everything sound like a major battle. HE: Well isn't it? SHE: It's only an In&Out, not World War III."

"It: "What is 'War'"?"

"HE: It's the way civilized people settle their arguments. Might makes right. History is written by the victors."

"It: "Who's Victor? I haven't met him yet.""

"SHE: Victor? Mature? I think not!"

"HE: More mature than your children. She: You mean the ones that I made by myself and apparently am raising by myself? It: You procreate singularly too?"

"HE: I have to she's always gotta headache."

"He: Well, I guess I'll go get my toolbox. She: I guess I'll call the plumber. It: I guess it's time for me to go home now..."

"He:Damn, woman always trying to find new ways to spend money. I can fix the sink myself. She:I should probably get the first aid kit, as well."

"She:Why is the kitchen flooded? Honey? Where are you? He: I'm under the sink, I think I found the problem She: Me too, but all I see are his feet. It: Your appliances don't fix themselves?"

"He: Where's the remote? She(sarcastically): Did you check up your ass?"

"It, excitedly: Finally, a similarity! I also have storage units in the area you humans call an 'ass.'"

"He: (looks her up and down) "You're kind of snippy today. Is it that time of the month?""

"She: You mean the time of month I consider divorce. He: Well, it's definitley the time when I consider it."

"It: You also find new mates each month?"

"She: "Only when I'm lucky""

""He: Why do women always respond to problems by crying? She: Why do men always respond to problems by getting drunk? It: I always cry when I get drunk.""

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