Unfortunatley, his twin sister, Giasseppe, got her name from his italian father, and her hispanic mother. This messed up all plans for her to have her own cooking school. (Dreamin1_StormyWeather )

Fortunately, it was still looking good for a high-class brothel catering to rich tourists. (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, the blowfish ended up not only taking a leak, but carrying a leek and therefore, sending the next F/U plotline into the thick of things, thistle-style. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Fortunately, the hermit crab, whose name was Alberto Giuseppe Umberto Antonio Giancarlo Smith, caught his train to the Metropolitan Opera house and his role in Don Carlo. Updon arriving, his agent suggested he take a shortre stage name. (Dad )

Unfortunately, Giuseppe misunderstood, shrugged, and said, "OK. I'll call it The Met." (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, the Mets were playing right next door at Old Shea stadium and his arrival was well-met, as they needed an extra-long named crab from the hermitage. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, Giuseppe got into an argument with an umpire and threw a pizza pie in his face. "Hey, dummy!" yelled Giuseppe's sister Giaseppe. "You're wasting good pizza. That was my mushroom and anchovy!" (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately for Gia, the umpire threw the pie back, Giu ducked and Gia got a faceful of mushroom and anchovy. (In case anyone is wondering why that scene is familiar, it featured in 'The Umpire Strikes Back') (deemac )

Unfortunately, their dad didn't like the messy pizza hijinks. "Look. I am you father," he said. "Cease this madcap Italian-flavored tomfoolery and get back to the Met, for the curtain rises upon Don Carlo and your silvery tones are not there. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, there was a cab waiting at the curb at that very moment, so they hopped into it. Even more fortunately, the cabbie actually understood English, traffic laws, and the secret of good hygiene (Dad )

Unfortunately, there were extra charges for this service, and because they were set in their ways, they were all hauled to Sing Sing prison (Dreamin1_StormyWeather )

Fortunately, it was the prison set backstage at the Met. It's fortunate because we may get out of this silly plotline and into something dyslexic or spoonerific. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, a spoonful of dyslexia can give you the stish, where you tit on the soilet and distle whixie while waiting for your space capsule to splash down. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, that weird Reverend Spooner gentleman who lives next door understood nearly every word of that; except he asked me if I knew what a case spapsule was. (deemac )

Unfortunately, you didn't. Not surprising since spaps have been out of fashion for over 50 years. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, fashion guru Avery Otterford was surfing the net, saw spats, mistook them for spaps, and decided to make them the fashion world's Next Big Thing. He put white spats on all his shoes, even tennis shoes. The fashion world was taken by storm. (Dad )

Unfortunately, it all blew over when he had a spat with his distributors. (deemac )

Fortunately, he was able to convert most of his spats to spatulas and sell them to cooks who had a foot fetish. (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, everything made with the spatulas made from spats tasted like they were made from shoes. Even more unfortunatly, the shoes they tasted like tasted like they had been worn by me. (Dad )

Fortunately, the cooks' foot fetish was the worst kind, a fetid foot fetish. (deemac )

Unfortunately, the UFF - Unfetished Foot Foundation - stepped in at that moment and put their stamp of unapproval on the big toe of the Case Spapsule Company. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Fortunately, spats were not longer popular. An upcoming and very successful company named Stompya Cola Bottling company had their re-grand opening. A monument was decloaked, which revealed a handsome, giant military boot filled with the beverage.. (Dreamin1_StormyWeather )

Unfortunately, they forgot to plug the lace holes. (deemac )

Fortunately, it was the greatest Oops ploy in the history of marketing. The boot leaked, the milling-about-customer drank and was merry. He called a buddy on his i-Phone and more people showed up to drink. All told, some 237 people had Stompya that day. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, although they would drink gallons as long as it was free, everybody turned up their noses when Stompya started charging a fee. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, the fee was smaller than my weekly income, which isn't saying much. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, much needed to be said. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, with Steve, Purp, Dad and deemac around, lots will be said. Little will make any sense, but lots will be said! (Dad )

Unfortunately, there would be an occasional distraction, which left them in traction. (Dreamin1_StormyWeather )

Fortunately, it was a distraction of the female persuasion, one that my fellow colleagues and I were glad to agree was a welcome distraction despite it being an obvious cliche, which looks really weird without an accent. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, one of my colleagues was having difficulty choosing between the distraction of the clish and the attraction of the tish. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, most of the big leaguers assumed both those terms were asexual. (Dreamin1_StormyWeather )

Unfortunately, where you have asexual usually another one comes, then you have two, and everybody knows what happens then. We get shut down for bawdiness and have to reopen as a bowling alley. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, Biff Tenpin, champion bowler, agreed to appear at the opening of the new bowling alley for a nominal fee and a six-pack of the best beer in the house. (Dad )

Unfortunatley, Bill got the best bear in the house instead. (Dreamin1_StormyWeather )

Fortunately, it was Bear Bryant Jr. the best bowler this side of a haberdashery in Brooklyn. They bowled to new heights in the annals of time, proving you could talk turkey to a bear. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, Bear was throwing frozen turkey at the 's instead of a and was disqualified (Dad )

Fortunately, when the turkeys thawed they begged the referee to reinstate Bear. "We just did it for thrills," they claimed. (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, the ref was an Aussie and told them to get stuffed. (deemac )

Fortunately, the turkeys were already stuffed and everyone enjoyed engorging themselves on the stuffing so much that they reinstated Bear, restated bearings, reined in the state bears and even stamped out a few forest fires. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, one forest fire burned the ranger station and the bowling alley downbefore it got stamped out (Dad )

Fortunately, none of their balls caught fire, nor were they stamped upon. s aside, Deemac's right. U n d e r w e a r ! ! (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, if Deemac was right he would not have been asked to stay away until Feb. Let's hope he learns his lesson during his little time out. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, he's been asked to stay away only until February. He was facing 3 to ten in the state prison, ya know. (Dad )

Unfortunately, February is only 12 days away. Quick.... hide. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Fortunately, there are plenty of places to hide. He's not really here, he's only virtually here, so he can't actually see us. (Dad )

Unfortunately, if you keep painting your face yellow and grinning I don't see how he could NOT see you. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, he got it from the "Where The Sun Don't Shine" store, so it wasn't that brilliant of an . (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, that silly yellow face looks better than the real one. (Dad )

Fortunately, the sun had once again risen in the east, eliminating the illuminating effects of his bright yellow face . (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, the sun rising didn't eliminate the need for Dad to cover that front part of his head that he claims to be a face (Dad )

Fortunately, the Plot Clock chimed "new plot... new plot... new plot..." and it was time to tell the story of the astronaut, the blonde, and the crocodile. (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, after the astronaut and the blonde streetwalker got married, all their wedding guests ended up in the croc's stomach. On the upside, they called home on cellphones while cruising around in there. (Dreamin1_StormyWeather )

A fortunate bowel movement freed all the guess just in time for the band to play the Chicken Dance song in which all participated. (Mr. Chowda Head )

Unfortunately, the crocodiles didn't eat the band playing the Chicken Dance Song. (Dad )

Fortunately, someone had brought a real live chicken to the dance and soon everyone was learning how the REAL chicken dance goes. The astronaut said, "This is even better than a trip to the moon!" (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, one of the wedding guests (No, for once it wasn't Steve - he hadn't been invited to the wedding) tried to take the chicken home so he could do unspeakable acts to the chicken ij the privacy of his own home. (Dad )

Fortunately, it was a talking chicken so it was impossible to do any unspeakable acts with her. She would speak about ANYthing. Don't ever ask her how the egg-laying is going unless you have an hour to kill. (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, Steve has first-hand knowledge on this. He asked her how the egg-laying is going. He killed an hour he didn't have, and now he owes The Great Time Keeper an hour, and he has no idea how to pay it back. (Dad )

Fortunately, he remembered daylight savings just in time and promised that extra hour to the Great Time Keeper. (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, The Great Time Keeper relaizes that we Spring Forward, so he won't get the hour back, he'll be fronting Steve a second hour. "I'm on to your skullduggery, Steve!" he said, in his big, booming bass voice. (Dad )

Fortunately, the blonde was none other than Penelope Skullduggery, who'd changed her name to Naut, to be with her new boyfriend Theastro and marry him. The GTK was no match for the two of them. Even if he was on top. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, after the GTK was defeated and the astronaut and the blonde went off to get married, there was no one left to carry the story forward but the chicken. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, the chicken was none other than the iconic 60's cartoon, Super Chicken! (Dad )

Unfortunately, just as he was about to carry the story forward, he decided to cross the road. Nobody knows why. (deemac )

Fortunately, there was an elephant standing by the side of the road who explained: "It's my day off. But thankfully, Super Chicken was here for me. That's why he crossed the road." (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, though the chicken had told the elephant how to carry the story forward before he had crossed the road, the elephant forgot. (deemac )

Fortunately, the chicken had stuffed a note in the elephant's trunk, knowing he might forget, so when the elephant blew his nose, as the chicken knew he eventually would, there was his reminder, a bit soggy with snot, but still legible. (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, the note tickled the elephant's nose (trunk?), causing a gargantuan sneeze. The gargantuan sneeze blew the snot-soggy note halfway into the cornfield across the road, where it would be found the following fall by the farmer, Ol' McDonald. (Dad )

Fortunately, his grandson Young McDonald (not to be confused with his son, Ol McDonald Jnr.) spoke fluent Snot. "Y'wan I translates 'er Gramps?" he asked. (OK, so maybe his English wasn't so good, but who's perfect?) "Eeieeioh," said Gramps. (deemac )

Unfortunately, Young McDonald thought Gramps, Ol' McDonald, was spelling farm. Young McDonald said, "Gramps, weez gottz chikins an orsez an moocows, an cheepzes,an eben summm goats. But we ain gotz no effelumps!" (Dad )

Fortunately, Ronald McDonald, the black sheep of the family, was visiting from the big city to rest his golden arches. He nudged the elephant, who not only didn't fall forward, he remembered that Super Chicken had also tucked a note in his ear. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, the note in the elephant's ear just said "don't forget to check in your trunk" and so an entire clan of McDonalds spent the rest of the day speculating about the elephant's fate and whether now the story was about them rather than it. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, the elephant suddenly, just then, remember that when Super Chicken said In your trunk, he meant in your suitcase! The elephant, and all the McDonalds, including chikinz, orsez, moocows, cheepsez and goats, hurried to check his suitcase (Dad )

Unfortunately, the elephant had packed for a loooooong stay. http://tinyurl.com/7ab38jz (deemac )

Fortunately, it was the off season and even the cheepsez found rooms so nobody had to share a bed with the McDonalds. (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, Young McDonald tried to share a bed with young Gisele McDougall, his cousin. (Dad )

Fortunately, Old McDonald had a farm and Gisele and Young found a place they could E I E I O all afternoon without anyone overhearing. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, Gisele was a creative young lass and decided to A E I O U for awhile. That made Grandpa McDonald's ears perk up and he yelled, "Young! Are you molesting the pigs again? That ruins the bacon, son!" (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, the McDonald/McDougall liaison produced a bouncing Baby McDongle. (deemac )

Unfortunately, Baby McDongle bounced out of his baby buggy and bumped into the Baby McRufus, thereby switching the babies at birth. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Fortunately, there is very little difference between a McDongle and a McRufus other than one has hairy ears and the other has a hairy rear. (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, when the two babies bounced into each other's buggies, they landed upside down, so no-one noticed any difference ... until one day, 23 years later ... (deemac )

Fortunately, the plot writers will let us know all about it in their next post. Because I heard it wasn't pretty. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, there are 57 chapters to cover between now and 23 years later, so... The next day Nurse Cratchett was pushing baby A's buggy when she came upon Nanny Nonose playing Find Your Bottle with baby B. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, the baby in Cratchett's buggy had its bottom diapered and a bottle in its mouth. (Dad )

Unfortunately, baby B farted and Nanny Nonose had to be rushed to the Special Bottle Removal Unit at the local hospital; all through the night, the Nonoses gathered, keeping watch while preparing for the worst. (deemac )

Fortunately, the worst happened and they congratulated each other on being so well-prepared. Look! Papa Nonose said. I even brought a backup watch! (Steve Ellen )

Unfortunately, they ed the wrong and got ed by Nanny Nonose. (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Fortunately, Nanny nonose forgave Papa nonose, and even bought him a black with no cream and sugar. (Dad )

Unfortunately, he wanted an oriental with coconut milk and a spicey peanut sauce. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, he believed in the old saw "All good things come to those who wait" and sure enough, 23 years later, his oriental with coconut milk and spicy peanut sauce arrived. Double fortunately, it was on the house coz it was over 5 minutes late. (deemac )

Unfortunately, as he was climbing up the ladder to fetch it off the roof, a buzzard fell into it. Any other bird and he would have still eaten it, but... a buzzard? (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, Konichiwa (aka Kona), the naked ninja drink server, arrived on the scene. (Dreamin1_StormyWeather )

Fortunately, he had grown up in Vultureville where his Uncle Drac had run the best diner in town ... http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3338/3638464302_a8aa0ca594.jpg (deemac )

Fortunately, deemac meant "unfortunately" in his previous post, so it befell to me to right the wrong, invert the triangle and steer the ship away from the sandbar. Double fortunately and you can win in Vegas! (PurpleHaze - 5 VH2 chapters )

Unfortunately, three fortunatelys in a row is very bad luck and often leads to one giant UNFORTUNATELY that sinks the ship, reverts the triangle, wrongs the right, kills the buzzard, and makes life hell for the next poster. (Steve Ellen )

Fortunately, Part Deux, Scene 3 was played out yet again for the 100th time. "BREAK!" someone yelled and everyone departed. (Dreamin1_StormyWeather )

Unfortunately, this is an Unfortunately, else deemac would have had a Fortunate opportunity to explain that the 2 Fortunatelies were simultaneous posts, which is one of the hazards of life in In&Outsville, the other being that a post will exceed 255 chara (deemac )

Fortunately, my posts NEVER exceed 255 characters, but mama always said I was the most conscientious of all the siblings. Now, about the plot. I'm not pointing fingers but someone has lost it. (Steve Ellen )

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