"'Course not, nuncle."

"No, I thought you said pickles. And if you believe that, you'll buy my watch!"

"Is it a good watch? "

"It's a piece of cork tied around his wrist with twine, how much do you think he wants for it?"

"How does it tell time? Does he put the cork in his drink and when it tugs at his wrist he knows 10 minutes have passed?"

"THAT'S RIGHT!!! How'd you guess?"

"Two bodies. One entity. Enough said."

"We are NOT The Man With Two Brains. In that, we are sadly lacking."

"I think she meant we are the two men with one brain between them. Fortunately I got the half that knows how to type."

"That's ridiculous! If we truly were two men with one brain between us, why would I not pick it up and stick it in my head, which is currently empty?"

"I didn't say anything about brains. We're talking about metaphysical consciousness here and all you can talk about it a muscles dependent on static electricity?"

"Ummmmm ... Huh? That looks an awful lot like English. I speak only English, but I have no idea what metaphysical consciousness is."

"That's because you're thinking about it too hard. Just let it happen, Dad."

"Ridiculous. Dad never thought too hard in his life. Now ME. I know what hard thinking is. I've been hardly thinking for years now."

"Isn't hard thinking what leads to wet dreams?"

"In my experience that would be the bucket of water your children/friend/sibling dumped on you while you slept."

"Yes, but your female. us guys, we get fun dreams that ... uh, ... leave thing ... sticky ... messy : "

"hm.."

"Dear catty: What's the best way to describe the fun dreams us guys get that ... uh ... leave things ... sticky ... messy"

"I woke up to a sticky mess once. I forgot to take my plate off my bed before sleeping and spilled syrup everywhere. "

"Hmmmmm I get the feeling that ain't exactly the dream I was thinking about."

"I know what nocturnal emissions are, Dad. As innocent as I pretend to be, I am far too inquisitive to not explore the mysteries of the less...family friendly side of life. The internet is a magical place, my friend. Magical and terrifying. "

"I would like that on my tombstone: He was magical and terrifying! ... Instead I'll get the usual pile of three stones and a hastily scribbled note: "We berried dis guy we found layin daid. He didn have no wallet. If you know who he wuz pleez tell his kin""

"Me? I wanna be cremated, stuck in a brown paper bag, and left at the bus station. Someone'll steal me, and that'll be one less thing for Mom and Son to worry about."

Total Displayed: 25