Dad

"So long as you leave your pants on."

Dad

"No problem. I accidentally glued my zipper shut."

Steve ~ Friction

"Just as long as you didn't glue your zipper to your "...Do not touch certain parts of your body while you are on the football field.""

Dad

"Dear Catty, Can you please save us from ourselves? Love, Red-Faced from Reading this in Reading."

Dad

"62"

Steve ~ Friction

"61"

Steve ~ Friction

"60"

Steve ~ Friction

"59"

Steve ~ Friction

"This is like singing "99 Bottles of Beer" on the schoolbus."

Steve ~ Friction

"Ah, the good ol' days. Drinking beer on the schoolbus. The schoolbus driver usually bought for us. I wonder if that's why I spent 4 years in the 3rd grade. Or 3 in the 4th."

Dad

"We're nearly half way there!"

Dad

"We'll never make it. It's hopeless."

Steve ~ Friction

"{c:greenHang in there, Steve. It'll work out."

Dad

"No it won't"

Steve ~ Friction

"Maybe Catty came back, took one look at this, and ran away again."

Steve ~ Friction

"Who the hell could blame her? I'd delete the whole damn mess and start over again, if it were mine."

Dad

"All she has to do is click on the "do not allow writing ML" link and all this will clear up immediately. "

Steve ~ Friction

"So where the hell is she when we need her? We miss you, catty."

Dad

"I'm like a buzzard, sitting in a tree, when nothing is dying. Patience my ass. I want to kill something. BTW: you mean they didn't look awful before?"

Dad

"Lime jello in my pillowcase? I'd rather pistacchio pudding."

Dad

"Now if she'd just get rid of the bold and italics."

Dad

"Just a few posts to delete. She can do it. I know she can."

Steve ~ Friction

"You can delete them, Steve. You have the power. You have the ability. You are good enough. And, darn it, people like you. Well, maybe not, but you still have the power!"

Dad

"test"

Steve ~ Friction

"test"

Steve ~ Friction

"Heyyyy, you're right!"

Steve ~ Friction

"See? Occasionally, I get one right!"

Dad

"*struggles to reduce size*"

Steve ~ Friction

"*struggle struggle struggle*"

Steve ~ Friction

"Finally!"

Steve ~ Friction

"Firstly!"

Dad

"The power of self-deletion is cool but I would rather have the power to delete others."

Steve ~ Friction

"C'mon catty. Quit watching and start adding. Do you know how long it's been since someone not named Steve or Dad has posted something here?"

Dad

"They're probably afraid of getting lime jello put in their pillowcase."

Steve ~ Friction

"So, let's eat all the lime jello. Details, details."

Dad

"Ugh! You eat all the lime jello. Do you know what jello is made from?"

Steve ~ Friction

"Yes. I work in a jello plant. Someone has to make that shit, ya know."

Dad

"*barfs*"

Steve ~ Friction

"Okay. Now you have to find someone to clean that up."

Dad

"Catty?"

Steve ~ Friction

"I don't think she comes here any more. I think she has had her fill of our silliness. So I say nuts to her. Vomit on the floor if you want. I'll write on the walls. *Writes "Steve for President" on the walls*"

Dad

"But maybe she has the swine flu and can't do anything right now but oink and snort?"

Steve ~ Friction

"*Writes "Steve called catty 'piggy'" on the wall*"

Dad

"Hey! Only while she has the flu. Then one day Piggy will be Catty again. "

Steve ~ Friction

"*Erases last sentence from the wall*"

Dad

"*cleans walls* Ahem! Catty does not have swine flu, catty has no internet!"

catty WDC since 2003

""Well, catty's back. Maybe I should start behaving myself again. I know. I'll leave myself a note. *Writes "Dear Dad. Please don't write on the wall. Catty's back and doesn't appreciate it. Love, Dad," on the wall." "

Dad

"Catty is not completely back if she has no internet. We probably just glimpsed her at a library computer."

Steve ~ Friction

"Ah, but you are wrong, butterfly. I simply said catty's back. Catty's back is complete. She may not visit here very often, but her back is all colored in, regardless of how often she visits us. *Writes "Confusius" on the wall*"

Dad

"You definitely confuse us."

Steve ~ Friction

"Ah, my work here is done. *Wipes hands on walls*"

Dad

"Ewwww... Looks like it's time for another hosedown."

Steve ~ Friction

"*hoses them down* Now what?"

catty WDC since 2003

" *ashamed* I'm sorry, catty. It's just that with you gone so much, I miss you and get carried away with myself."

Dad

"I don't want to watch that."

Steve ~ Friction

"Good choice, Steve. It wasn't pretty. And I think I injured myself when I dropped me."

Dad

"That's what happens when catwomen give you the power of self-deletion."

Steve ~ Friction

"Who needs powers like that when you can kill everyone in the room and drain them of blood in less than 60 seconds?"

Dark Angel

"Hey, dad... Who're you?"

Dark Angel

"Hi Dark Angel. I'm Dad, a WDC member since 2001. Have we ever met before? I'm not good with names, but I never forget a face, and your face, well, from where I'm sitting, I can't see it."

Dad

"You would remember her fangs, I think. "

Steve ~ Friction

"And my scythe. Nobody ever forgets the scythe. Something about getting your head cut off with one just leaves quite a lasting impression... Oh and the trail of victims behind me. Some people leave bread crumbs? Yeah, I leave dead bodies lol."

Dark Angel

"Hmmmm. I see. And a trail of blood spatters, too, I would imagine."

Dad

"No, she's very neat. No excessive spattering."

Steve ~ Friction

"*shrugs* my mother always taught me not to waste food."

Dark Angel

"*nods head* Waist not, want not. "

Dad

"So which tastes better -- type O, type A, or type B?"

Steve ~ Friction

"Type O is better for leaving cryptic messages on mirrors, and Type AB is best for drawing fake mustaches on your victims. But as for which one tastes best ... Sorry Ida Know. Maybe we'd better ... wait for it ... Ask Catty!"

Dad

"Good luck asking Catty anything. "

Steve ~ Friction

"Oh, we can ask catty everything. Getting an answer from her is proving to be extremely difficult; nearly impossible."

Dad

"Yeah... "Ask Catty" is becoming a catch phrase meaning something like: "Oh go screw yourself" "

Steve ~ Friction

"Catty just told me to tell you "Ask catty." "

Dad

" "

Steve ~ Friction

"*blinks and slowly backs away*"

Dark Angel

"Oh no you don't! *drags Dark Angel back in*"

Steve ~ Friction

"Hey! Dark Angel Ask catty, too."

Dad

"Ask Catty yourself. "

Steve ~ Friction

"*puts hands on hips* I thought I was the only who was allowed to get personal, and say nasty things. Just for that, Steve, Ask catty."

Dad

"I did and she has a personal message for you. *unfolds note* I'll read it to you. It says: Ask Catty!"

Steve ~ Friction

"*blares music to drown out the sound of your bickering*"

Dark Angel

"Humpf. Just for that: Hey catty! Ask catty!"

Dad

"That wasn't Catty. That was Dark Angel. Now you've gone and asked Catty to "ask Catty" when you should have asked Dark Angel to ask Catty. I think maybe YOU should Ask Catty!"

Steve ~ Friction

"I apologize, catty. I misunderstood what Steve meant. I understood the personal message to be from you. So, I take back my request that you ask catty."

Dad

"I asked Catty if you could undo an ask Catty and she says no, once Catty has been asked then the asking stands. She says if she ever gets back here she will answer all standing questions and also a couple of the sitting ones if she has time."

Steve ~ Friction

"What does she want to do with all the lazy questions , all lying about in various poses of sprawl?"

Dad

"Have a photo shoot?"

Dark Angel

"Sounds like a plan to me. Does she need film for her camera, or does she have a digital camera?"

Dad

"What's film? Is that the way the pioneers took pictures?"

Steve ~ Friction

"No, I think it was the cavemen *gets out the digital camera*"

Dark Angel

"Just be careful with that. I break cameras. All ya gotta do is point it at me."

Dad

"Just act natural. We don't want you all cleaned-up and smelling fresh. Pretend the camera isn't here."

Steve ~ Friction

"Doesn't matter. Just point the damn think at me, and it breaks. Sorta like mirrors do for Herman Munster."

Dad

"But if we don't have a photoshoot then what am I going to do with all these flashbulbs? (for the pioneer camera)"

Steve ~ Friction

"Use them as strobes at the disco! (Do I have to think of everything?)"

Dad

"No, you just have to show up and look like you are the kind of person who would have been invited to attend."

Steve ~ Friction

"Hey! I do NOT crash state dinners at the White House."

Dad

"For my senior project I'm going to burn down a clay/wood model of the White house and write a 2,400 word or 10-page report on a U.S. government conspiracy of my choice"

Dark Angel

"Fluoride in drinking water is a government conspiracy to support the dental industry. Catty is leading a government conspiracy to support the lime jello industry. NASA is a government conspiracy to keep teenage boys interested in long, cylinder objects."

Dad

"Hip Hop is a govenment conspiracy to make everyone wear baggy pants that take more cloth to make which requires more cotton to be grown which requires more oil to be used which drives up the price of oil which makes people angry which causes... uh..."

Steve ~ Friction

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