Like chickens that don't have a rooster? (Steve Ellen )

Like a band that don't have a booster? (Steve Ellen )

Like a broad that's not casted? / Like a flabber not gasted? (Roscoe )

Like breakfast when you don't own a tooster? (deemac )

When one's making French toast typed a poster (Roscoe )

Does one stick all one's tongue down the toaster? (Roscoe )

If one just sticks the tip / Does one get a hot lip? (deemac )

Would it be toastier using a roaster? (Dad )

This place is just question after question (deemac )

And all the toast's given me indigestion (deemac )

A sip of soy milk / Coats my stomach with silk (Steve Ellen )

OK, I'm ready for another session. (Steve Ellen )

Where to get help with my taxes? (Dad )

How to get the gov'mint off our backses? (Dad )

For the rich, tax is optional / So great wealth is thus optimal (Roscoe )

Alas, their wealth is greater than deemac 's is. (deemac )

Indigestion can cause me to burp (Dad )

(To Doc Holliday confessed Wyatt Earp) (deemac )

"The cheap booze that you drink /For sure makes those burps stink"  (Roscoe )

and too much of it makes you go .... errrp (Dad )

Poor ole dee can't do John Wayne for toffee (Roscoe )

All he does is say "Mighty fine cawfee" (Roscoe )

His best John Wayne / sounds more like Dietrich Mar - layne (Dad )

Who asked Wayne, "Vood you pleeeze paw me, for free?" (Roscoe )

"My poor ear!" yelped John Wayne, "Why d'you skelp it?" (Roscoe )

Dietrich said (yes, you're right), "I can't hellp it." (Roscoe )

When he retaliated, Mr Morrison / (His dad) said, "Say you're sorry, son" (deemac )

So he did, then his lower lip fell a bit. (deemac )

An irascible Fellow of Cambridge (Roscoe )

"Was it named by the same goon / Who invented Pontoon?! (deemac )

And built his house upon Fame Ridge? (Steve Ellen )

Inductees to Blue Ridge Hall of Fame (Roscoe )

Never delete what they say 'cause it's lame (Steve Ellen )

Dumb it might be / and hard to follow logic'ly (Dad )

But they just never feel any shame. (Steve Ellen )

When Ah'm sat on mah porch banjo pickin' (Roscoe )

Tryin' to teach a new dance to my chicken (Steve Ellen )

If she waltzes real slow / The old cock starts to crow (Roscoe )

She sures sets that cock's ticker a-tickin' (Roscoe )

When the hooch jug gits down to the middle (Roscoe )

Me an' Martha commences to fiddle (Roscoe )

No troubles ensuin' / While we are .... ... um, ,kissing (Dad )

We're too old to do more than a kid'll   (Roscoe )

I had muh truck towed to git it repaired (Dad )

Fer the bill Ah wudn't prepared (Dad )

An arm and a leg / A jug and a keg (Steve Ellen )

It was twice as much as I feared. (Steve Ellen )

Ay luv da sound of my ol' swine a'squealin' (Mr. Chowda Head )

Pigs in muck are jest strangely appealing (Roscoe )

But if I call out, "Sooouiee!" / My wife will you-hoo me [http://southernillinois.14wfie.com/news/events/47714-husband-and-hog-calling-con...] (Katya in Lurv )

Tuh git thar faster, Ah go two-wheelin'! (Dad )

"Want to know" said my wife, "why I'm glum?" " (Roscoe )

"Your gross habits and our net income."  (Roscoe )

You're a big fat blob (Mr. Chowda Head )

And you have no job! (Mr. Chowda Head )

Just as well I'm a lovable bum!  (Roscoe )

I asked doc for advice. He just quipped: (Roscoe )

"Because flies spread disease, keep yours zipped."  (Roscoe )

"She may be a looker // but she's a used-up hooker" (Dad )

"Can you think of something you don't want ripped?" (Dad )

I knew an thespian named Judd (Dad )

Acting was all through his blood (Dad )

He once took the part//of Napolean Bonaparte (Mr. Chowda Head )

But he looked much more like Elmer Fudd (Roscoe )

I knew a world-traveler named Chance (Steve Ellen )

Of her Prince Harry was entranced! (Dad )

So he took her aside / "Any chance of a ride" (Roscoe )

I've got a royal staff in my pants (Mr. Chowda Head )

Harry's uncle, Randy Prince Andy (Dad )

has dated some girls who look quite dandy (Dad )

He don't mind if they're dumb / As long as their Prince has come (deemac )

He'll take any female who's handy! (Dad )

A Limerick that someone once wrote (deemac )

Included a herdsman and goat (Hymns-At-Heaven's-Gate )

One would sing laa-laa! / While the other sang baa-baa! (Steve Ellen )

Anbd neither sounded much like a poet (Dad )

Round his neck the goat wore a bell (deemac )

Nonetheless, he still stunk like hell! (Dad )

The bell clanged / into the mud he spranged (Dad )

And into the next Linerick as well. (deemac )

The herdsman said, "Goat. you still around?!" (deemac )

"I herd heard you fell into a well and got drowned." (deemac )

Baa, humbug! said the goat / You know I can float (Steve Ellen )

"and now fouled water's easily found!" (Dad )

There once was a woman named Bess (Dad )

she hated wearing a dress (Dad )

But she often said, "Wowzers!" / When wearing men's trousers (Steve Ellen )

When asked what she meant, she said, "Guess." (deemac )

There was a young man who made guesses (Steve Ellen )

'bout what hid in his wife's golden tresses (Dad )

He said, "I'm probably wrong / But is it a ding-dong?" (deemac )

She made him wear one of her dresses. (Steve Ellen )

He liked it, much to her chagrin! (Dad )

"The chiffon feels to good next to my skin!" (Dad )

Now together they shop / Buy same clothes at each stop (Steve Ellen )

Though not sizes - she's fat and he's thin (Roscoe )

Eddie's   known for his charity marathon (Roscoe )

Nowadays, not just putting his Ma's bra on (Roscoe )

He'll run 'til o'er he keels / just not in high heels (Dad )

Coz in stilettos, his heels started chafin' ... Who said Blank Verse Limericks wouldn't catch on, huh? (deemac )

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