Beetlejuice's eyes slowly widened as he watched Lydia's mouth widening. He felt like he was staring into the mouth of a sandworm. He might as well have been, because what he saw next was pretty scary.
Lydia grabbed a hold of her recent lover, and shoved his head into her mouth. Like Claire, she managed to fit his entire head in.
"Salivating Sandworms!!" Beetlejuice yelled, now fully awake. So many things had just happened which he still couldn't believe. First, he finds out that Lydia has eaten that little bitch, Claire. Next, he realized that she had the hots for him, and then proceeded to ride him!!
Now, she was eating him!!!

"I've been in some sticky situations, but this takes the-" before Beetlejuice could turn into a baked good, he felt the mouth vibrate around him. It came so suddenly, but he had feeling what was happening.
Again, Lydia had been so hungry, she had not completely thought through what she was doing. Aside from Beetlejuice being her best friend, there were more obvious reasons she could not eat him. It was bad enough tasting dead flesh, but this was Beetlejuice. As in, the guy who spends his late nights in a rot tub. As in, the guy who's breath could stop a train. As in, the guy who had beetles stuck between his teeth, in every episode!

"BLECH!" Lydia coughed up her friend, and then proceeded to scrub her tongue.
"Yeah, I have that affect on people." he managed to say.
"Beetlejuice?" Looking back, he noticed that Lydia was coming back around. Good thing to, because they had a lot to talk about.
"Ugh! Why is my tongue....." Lydia looked at the situation around her. She noticed her plump belly, that she was naked, and so was a currently saliva coated Beetlejuice.
"Oh my god, Beetlejuice? Did I....did we.... and then I tried....?" Lydia covered herself up. She hoped that she had imagined the whole thing.
"Yeah, yeah, and almost babes." he answered.

"Oh no," Lydia covered her eyes, and started to weep. Beetlejuice saw this, and as weirded out as he still was, this was still Lydia. He floated over to her side "Ah come on babes, enough with the waterworks, *turns into a leaky faucet* everything's okay now.".
" *sob* No it's not Beetlejuice, I've ruined everything. Our friendship, my life, I even tried to eat you!" she still cried. In one foul swoop, she had virtually destroyed everything that made things the way they were. Now there was no going back, and Lydia thought it was all over.

"Well, that last one we probably don't have to worry about. But even so Lyds, it's not like I hate you." Lydia ceased crying. In this den of misery that she had created out of mindless lust and hunger, the only thing that would make her feel better is knowing that her best friend wasn't going anywhere.
"Really?"
"One hundred percent really. I knew that wasn't really you. The phony you couldn't stomach me, while the real you can. I could see it in your eyes babes." Beetlejuice's eyes popped out of his head. Lydia giggled. The two of them shared a reassuring hug.
"Besides, it's not your fault that stuff made you loopy." Lydia broke the hug after that. It was confession time.

"Actually Beetlejuice, my last meal may have made me horny, but I meant everything I said. I....I love you." As Beetlejuice's jaw dropped again, Lydia got everything else out in the air "I know your head must be spinnng, I mean more than usual, but I've been meaning to tell you this for a really long time now. In all the years I've known you, you always make me laugh, and there are so many things about you that I love so much. You're the only person who really understands me, whereas most people don't have a clue. I know a relationship between a human being and a ghost is strange in every way, but I just can't keep it inside anymore. I love you. I love you and I need you Beetlejuice!" she finished.
The next few seconds felt like an eternity. All she heard was dead silence. Lydia had her back turned to Beetlejuice, after her speech she still couldn't look him in the eye. Did this mean all her feelings were for nothing?

*Smooch*
If not, then the kiss on her cheeks would have been out of place.
"You had me at strange in every way." Both of their eyes leaked with tears of joy. For both of them, this was their first love, and they wanted it to be their only love. They embraced one another and shared another kiss.
"Thank you Beetlejuice. I'll spend the rest of my life, and afterlife loving you." Lydia couldn't stop smiling.
"Babes, I'm yours forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and...well you get the idea." he responded.
"Besides, there is no way I can turn down a smoking body like yours." Lydia brought a finger to her butt cheek and made a sizzling sound. It was soon followed by a loud rumbling.
"I think we've still got a probelm here." she placed her hands on her paunch.
"Don't sweat babes. I may be revulting, and proud of it, but I'm sure you'll find that other Neitherworld folk are much more, tasteful." Beetlejuice smirked.






"Couldn't stand the wait at the office huh?" Scuzzo the clown handed someone a book from the section "For the recently deceased".
"Like no way, I need to find the nearest mall in this freaky place." spoke the late Claire Bruster. She had arrived in the Neitherworld, and was now dressed in a tight leather outfit like the slut she said she was.

Suddenly, the doors swung open.
"Hello Claire." Lydia licked her lips. Claire screamed. She tried to run, but was once again tackled by Lydia.
"No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" she kept saying no as she clawed for the floor while Lydia ate her feet first. After whining about breaking a nail, Lydia finished her off.
*GULP* *GULP* *GULP*
Terrified by what he had just seen, Scuzzo tried to back towards the exit. It was soon blocked by a brick wall, with a face.
"Not so fast clown boy, we're gonna have some laughs, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" After Scuzzo looked back, Lydia's mouth enveloped the camera.

"UUUUUUURRRRRRRP!" Lydia rubbed her huge, thrashing belly. She may have torn clean through her pancho, but it was worth it to have a meal this filling. After holding up a 10.0 score card, Beetlejuice appeared before the audience.
"Don't worry, they'll be fine." he held up a copy of the Beetlejuice movie "How do you think I came back? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!".