Confronted with a two-ton beast that had already downed one person, most people would turn tail and take off as fast as they can. But for someone with two tails, running away wasn’t something they would be willing to do. When Kootie Pie took a step forward, Tails found himself instinctively stepping forward, putting himself between the carnivorous Koopa and Birdo. His unconscious act of bravery didn’t go unnoticed by Birdo, who twisted her funnel like mouth into what could only be considered a smile.

No one said anything as Kootie Pie stood in front of everyone, rubbing her bulging belly with a sadistic grin plastered on her scaly mug. Gurgling sounds could be heard inside her as her fat body absorbed the meal she’d just downed without a struggle. Finally, as the gurgling died down, a farther addressed his daughter.

“Uh, pumpkin…. Did you just eat Princess Daisy?”

The huge Koopa rolled her eyes and stared down at the Koopa king, who looked tiny compared to her blubbery daughter. “Like, I’m not sure or whatever. I just saw this sweet brown haired lady in a yellow dress and had to add her to my sexy body, you know.” Kootie Pie let out a low laugh and started picking at her teeth with one of her claws. A warped piece of metal slipped out from better her fang that was quickly recognized as the bent crown of Princess Daisy.

Bowser stared blankly down at the destroyed piece of royal headwear then turned his gaze to his daughter’s chubby, bored face. Laughing uneasily, he tried to smile before his huge child. “Now daughter dearest, you wouldn’t try to eat dear old dad, now would you. After all, I may have never been to any of your birthdays or school functions, but I did give you a castle. That has to count for something. Right?”

“Please, don’t make me, like, gag.” Kootie Pie looked sick as she stared down at her father, sticking her tongue out in disgust as she stared into his beady eyes. “I’m on a very specific diet. I only eat those with, you know, pure hearts and souls. If I ate your evil ass, I’d be, like totally, ruining my diet. Only the good go into this belly.”

With a loud slap, Kootie Pie hit her huge gut making it violently shake. Her fat rippled and jiggled all over, creating a very nice effect that went unnoticed by Wario and Bowser, who were both too busy feeling relieved. Finding out that the giant girl wasn’t going to scarf them down made both of them relax and feel at ease. Those two weren’t exactly evil, but they were self-centered. If Kootie Pie wasn’t going to touch them, then they didn’t care what she did or who she ate. Sadly, Tails didn’t have the luxury to relax.

“What do we have here?” Kootie Pie grunted as she sharply turned her face towards Tails and Birdo, who both took a step back when the Koopa’s eyes centered on them. She stomped towards them slowly, making her fat form shake again. Every single movement she made, from a single breath to a one mighty step made her nearly entirely fat form shake in provocative ways. The sight of so much blubbery shaking made Tails lick his lips. Kootie Pie may have just eaten an innocent person and he might be the second course, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate what he was viewing. However, other then enjoying her shaking, it did nothing else for him. Tails didn’t go for the bad girl type, they were more Knuckles thing.

“What an innocent little fox,” Kootie Pie cooed and smacked her lips. “I wonder how a sweet, friendly thing like you would taste.”

Before the fat Koopa could lay her chubby hands on Tails, Birdo pushed him aside, putting her in the hungry villain’s path. “Back off! He’s mine!”

“He is?” Kootie Pie grunted, looking questionably down at the pink former henchwoman. Beside Birdo, Tails was thinking the same thing. He caught Birdo’s gaze out of the corner of her eye and she winked at him. Blushing lightly, Tails ignored the growing unease inside him and turned his attention to Kootie Pie, who was staring down the smaller, weaker female in front of her.

“So what if he is, like, yours, mosquito-bite tits? He’d probably totally let me eat him, just so he can find out what it feels like to be touched by a real woman instead of a garden hose with a bow on top. Now move aside. I don’t eat bad guys or skanks.”

Tail’s winced at Kootie Pie’s words. He wanted to interject every time she insulted Birdo, but he knew that bringing her attention to him would be bad. Now she was looking right at him and it seemed like Birdo was going to attack. Tails could practically see the egg in her nozzle, ready to be upchucked at Kootie Pie. The egg would do nothing to stop the fat female reptile, only bring her wrath down on Birdo. Wishing he had Sonic’s speed or Knuckle’s fists or even Amy’s mallet, Tails fought back with his only weapon. His intelligence.

“But I am a villain! I do all kinds of evil things, like… um… selling babies! That’s right, I steal and sell babies. That’s very evil.” Kootie Pie brow lifted as she stared doubtfully down on Tails, who tried to look as menacingly as possible. All he did was mange to look adorably in front of the hungry Koopa. Thinking quickly, Tails gestured towards Bowser and Wario. “If I wasn’t a bad guy, would I be hanging out with these two?”

“I like suppose so,” Kootie Pie grumbled, rubbing one of her many chins. “No self respecting good doer would hang out with my cruel and wicked daddy or his smelly friend.”

“Damn right,” Bowser huffed, not bothered that his daughter thought he was a fiend. He had raised her to think of him as the baddest dude around, if she started thinking of him as respectable, he would have been let down. The prodigal daughter grumbled something under her breath, clearly disappointed that she couldn’t eat the two tailed fox. Her refusal to eat him because of his so-called evil perked Tails interest. He was curious about why the Koopa princess was only going after good guys for her meals. What was the big difference between eating pure hearted and impure hearted people?

“This totally blows, I guess I’ll have to like wait until I find Princess Peach before I get to eat someone new.”

“What!” Stomping towards his daughter, Bowser shook a clawed finger at her and started screaming right at her face. “You are not eating my lovely Peach! I don’t know how you got so big or hungry, but you aren’t laying a hand on her! I won’t let you!”

Standing defiantly in front of Kootie Pie, Bowser looked positively small in comparison to the titanic lizard girl. Kootie Pie rolled her eyes at her father’s threats, knowing she could take him if he got into her way. She had taken down the old man’s arch enemies in a full total of five seconds, something he hadn’t been able to do once in five years. She could beat his ass easily and now that he was standing in front of her, trying to boss her around, maybe she will whip his sorry ass. Rising her chubby hand up, she prepared to bring it down in a mighty bitch slap and knock out a few of Bowser’s teeth, when someone spoke up.

“If you want to know where Peach is, I’ll tell you.”

Everyone turned towards Tails, who was candidly offering the princesses location. The fox looked relaxed and cool, calmly staring up at Kootie Pie with a cocky grin. Bowser, Wario and Birdo looked at Tails in shock, over him offering the Princess up on a platter to Kootie Pie. Maybe he wasn’t lying when he said he was a villain.

“Then spit it out small stuff,” Kootie Pie grunted, uncaring that Tails was giving up a supposed friend to her. Birdo wasn’t as okay with it, she narrowed her eyes at Tails and readied to upchuck an egg at him. Peach was her friend and if Tails was going to betray Peach, he was in for a pounding, no matter how cute he was. Birdo waited a second, giving Tails enough time to speak.

“Peach is in my dimension, in a little city called Eggland. She’s staying with the kind and benevolent leader of the city, Professor Eggman. Go looking for him and you’ll find Peach.”

Grinning broadly, Kootie Pie memorized the locations and name Tails had given her. Now she didn’t just have the location of one good person to eat, but two. This Eggman would make a good appetizer when she gets to Eggland. “Thanks kid. I like totally owe you. I hope we meet again soon so I can give you an awesome reward for the help.”

“Not too soon,” Tails muttered, knowing any reward he got would be unpleasant after Kootie Pie finds out Peach isn’t in Eggland and Eggman is no nice leader. Hopefully, when Kootie Pie comes back, Sonic or someone will be around to lend a hand in beating the hungry Koopa.

As Kootie Pie turned to leave, Tails watched her lumber away, wondering how someone her size was going to get around. As he looked on, finding himself glancing down at her huge, chunky ass, a glow started to form around Kootie Pie that quickly grew more intense. With a pop, Kootie Pie disappeared, leaving only her huge footprints behind. Tails gapped at the spot where the giant girl had once stood, recognizing what had just happened.

“Teleportation,” he murmured. How had a savage beast like Kootie Pie gotten the technology to teleport? More questions were being raised by the second, but they had to wait. Birdo was coming over to him and she had a glint in her eyes that concerned Tails.

“I’m going to take a guess and assume this Egg guy you sent that mount of lard after isn’t a nice guy?” Tails nodded solemnly. He didn’t like the thought of sending anyone to fight that nutcase Eggman, but he figured the mad scientist would keep Kootie Pie busy until he could figure out what was going on.

Unnoticed by Tails, Birdo was looking fondly at him. Finding his ingenious move and serious demeanor very sexy. Sliding up behind him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and whispered softly into his furry ear. “So, you steal babies do you?”

“N-no, not really,” Tails gulped nervously at the feel of Birdo pushing up beside her. Giving her a small grin, he said calmly back at her, “So, I belong to you do I?”

“Psst, kids,” Bowser grumbled at the display Birdo and Tails were putting on. Wario nodded behind him, finding the whole display disgusting. Both villains weren’t saying it, but the truth was they were a little jealous right now. Why don’t they ever get the girl?