“This is, like, the worst day ever,” grumbled a very depressed teenage girl. Tonight was Friday night, a time where most teenage girls were out with friends or on dates. However, for one teenage girl, she was doing neither because the former was out with the latter. For this teenage girl, she didn’t know what was more depressing, being friendless or dateless.

“This can totally not suck anymore,” she grumbled some more as she walked circles around the living room couch. The name of this dateless girl was Clover and even though she was beautiful, she could never seem to hold onto a man. Clover was a spy for the World Organization of Human Protection, aka WOOHP. You’d think after going on nearly a hundred life threatening missions she would of gained some perspective on what was really important. However, no matter how much danger Clover got into, her greatest concern has always been in getting boys. Right now, she was alone at her shared home, trying to figure out why she was alone on a Friday night. It was mostly because she could be needy at times and was superficial. Clover was still a sweet girl, but those underlining factors kept her from getting into a serious relationship.

“You know what the problem is?” Clover said to herself as she continued to pace faster. “I’m not sexy enough! That’s got to be why I’m alone!”

Clover nodded, thinking she had finally placed the reason for her loneness. She looked at herself and grimaced in disgust. She was a very pretty girl, but in her mind, everything was wrong with her. She grabbed her breasts in each hand, clutching the soft orbs with loathing.

“Look at theses things, they look like mosquito bites. If I’m ever going to get a boyfriend, I’m going to need to be stacked.” Clover let of her breasts and wandered around to the kitchen. She thought she had the answer, bigger breasts would get her the boys and these lonely Friday nights would cease. She knew what she wanted; the problem was how was she going to get it. Breasts implants were too expensive, even for a spy. That left only one option, WOOHP science.

“Good-bye C-cup, hello double D,” Clover chuckled to herself as she sneaked towards her best friend Sam’s room. If she was looking for WOOHP technology, she knew it could be found in Sam’s room. Jerry had been sending Sam new technology all month to test and report on, it was one of the many extracurricular activities the leader of the three spies did for WOOHP. Apparently, WOOHP wanted to know how their new technology would work in the hands of a seasoned spy. Sam had been given a box full of new gadgets and technology, ranging from lightening shooting lipstick to a bazooka bra. Sam had also received some strange non-lethal technology to test. What Clover hoped for was that one of the non-lethal weapons could help her. If WOOHP could make force fields in umbrellas and bubble gum that allowed someone to breathe underwater, maybe they had something to put a little in on top of Clover.

Quickly, Clover got into Sam’s room and started searching. Sam, ever the organized spy had set up each WOOHP gadget on a table and divided it into different sections. Clover began searching through the non-lethal pile, looking for her answer.

“Invisible girdle, no. Color changing hair dye, no. Gravity defying thong, like, eww and no.”

It seemed like it was a bust, until Clover found a strange gun inside a wooden box. It was marked as dangerous and untested, but Clover ignored that and only saw what the gun was called, Expando Ray.

“Totally Bingo,” Clover grinned and lifted the gun out of the box. It looked pretty complicated, with glowing dials and a flashing screen. It seemed a little dangerous and Clover considered putting it down. Then she remembered her date book and how it was completely empty. If she was going to fix that, she needed to fix herself first.

“Here goes nothing,” she gulped and pointed the gun at her chest. It seemed simple enough, point and shoot and something expands, what was the worst that could happen?