“Can you…” Ranma pointed to the doll sized man. “…Help me…” He patted his own chest. “…. Get big again?” He raised his hands up high and waited for the strange, foreign man doll to say anything. He looked at Ranma, waiting for him to say anything else excitedly. He smiled brightly at Ranma when he saw that he was done and said something that put a big smile on the gender challenged boys face.

“Yes.”

“Alright!” Ranma cried. He pumped his fists in excitement. Finally, things were starting to look up for him. Feeling lucky, Ranma decided to test his luck with another question.

“I…” He patted his own chest again. “ …Have a gender switching curse…” He moved his hands down his body into an hourglass shape. “…Can you…” he pointed at the doll sized man once more. “… Fix it?” Ranma bit his lip and crossed his fingers.

“Yes.”

“Wahoo!” Ranma started dancing and crying out, ‘never going to be a girl’, as the man looked on with that big plastic smile. Ranma finished dancing after a few minutes and jumped at the man, grabbing the man by the shoulders, he smiled so wide his face looked like it was going to split apart.

“Fix me now,” Ranma said, not asking, but rather demanding. He wanted to hold onto his manhood and stop worrying about rain every time he left the house. He felt happier about his curse going away then he was about return to normal. Being small sucked, but not as bad as losing his little Ranma and having fat, hairy guys ask him out.

“Yes.”

“Huh,” Ranma mumbled, seeing the blank look in the dolls eyes. Ranma got a funny feeling in his gut that this guy wasn’t all there. To see how much this guy understood, Ranma said the first thing that came to mind.

“Poodle car, vroom vroom, bad stick weasel eat toaster on hotdog.” If the man answered yes, then Ranma would know this guy was as stupid as a pile of bricks.

“Uh oh, hotdog!” He slapped his palm against his cheeks and made a surprised face. Ranma looked at him dryly.

“Great,” Ranma grumbled and ran a hand through his hair. This guy wasn’t as dumb as a pile of bricks. He was more of a stupid American comedy stupid, which is about a little above the intelligence of spoiled cabbage. The door to Shampoo’s room creaked open and the purple haired Chinese girl walked in. Ranma stared up at her eagerly. Maybe she could communicate with this guy.

“Shampoo bring tiny thumb bowl full of yummy, yummy ramen noodles.” She fell to her knees in front of the dollhouse and held out a thimble full of noodles. Ranma’s face scrunched at the offering, he could see dust balls in the thimble and the noodles were over cooked. Shampoo had found his meal on the floor and had hurriedly come to bring it to him. She still saw him as a toy, therefore didn’t quite feel he needed people food to eat. Ranma ignored the bad cuisine and tried to get some answers from the doll guy by asking Shampoo.

“Shampoo, ask this guy if he knows how to change me back or fix my curse.”

“Doll idiot won’t know. He idiot that not speak Chinese or Japanese.” Shampoo couldn’t believe that Ranma would think that idiot would know anything. Shampoo only kept him around because his ignorance made her feel better about her own limited education.

“What does he speak?”

“He speak idiot, what you think?” Shampoo chuckled and dropped the thimble of burned, dirty ramen at Ranma’s feet. Ranma grumpily ate the food, giving sideways glances at the idiot doll as he said ‘uh oh, hotdog!’ over and over again. Or at least he did, until Ranma punched him in the head and he was knocked out.