“So I say to Goku, if you leave me to train for another month, you’re going to be sleeping on the couch until the next time the earth get nearly destroyed,” Chi-Chi said with a cup of tea hanging by her lips. Today, all of the Z-fighters wives had gotten together to drink tea and complain about their husbands. It had been Bulma’s idea after she realized that the only real time they hang out is when their husbands are fighting it out with the latest monster, alien or robot, which although happens often it was still not that regularly. They were meeting in Chi-Chi’s house because it was quiet and had the serene wildlife outside incase they wanted to go for a walk.
“So did you kick him to the couch until the next monster attack?” Videl asked with interest. Gohan had been giving her the same problem and if Chi-Chi had the answer she was all ears.
“You bet your life I did,” proudly Chi-Chi said.
“So how long was he on the couch for?” 18 asked coolly from the other side of the table.
Despondingly Chi-Chi answered, “a week.”
“Guess your plan backfired,” Bulma laughed gently, trying not to embarrass her friend too much by laughing at her in front of company. “You should have told him that if he leaves he’d be on the couch until the next two monster attack.”
“Great idea, but then I’d have no sex for two weeks. Making me the one getting punished.” Chi-Chi slumped down on the table in defeat, it seemed that no matter what she did, she couldn’t keep her wayward husband in line. It would be one thing if he was constantly leaving her for work or to have an affair, if that were the case then she’d just sleep with some other guy to get back at him. However, Goku was always gone because he was training to save the earth for her and the boys, it was hard to be spiteful to someone for only trying to do good in the world.
“Now there’s a topic that we have never talked about before, sex,” Bulma smiled brightly at the word ‘sex’. Finally they were going to talk about something dirty for a change. All this recipe giving and tea drinking was boring Bulma to death. She wanted to talk about something racy and dirty.
“Lets talk about special talent in the bedroom. Since I have the most experience I’ll go first,” Bulma paused to cough softly into her fist. Then taking a big breath, she started. “One of my favorite things to do with Vegeta is 69ing. Now, most men wont go down on a woman but I find that if you reward them with special techniques they will dive right in there. The secret is to cover your teeth with your lips so you don’t have to worry about nicking him. Then you just keep ramming your moth on it until he blows, but you must have the right tempo or he’ll never climax. So now that I’ve told you about my talented mouth, what things do you do to keep your men pleased.” Everyone looked at Bulma with their jaws on the table and eyes wide open. They had not expected this friendly get together to turn into ‘who did what to who’.
“Umm…” Chi-Chi said with uncertainty.
“Ahhh…” Videl moaned as she looked away from Bulma.
“Yeah…” 18 said with a shake of her head.
“Well I’m not surprised,” Bulma said with an arrogant smirk, which was usually used by her husband. “You girls can’t keep your men in line because you have nothing to offer them. If any of you had interesting sexual techniques that you could employ, then your men wouldn’t be leaving you. I bet you have sex the same way, on the same day and probably always in bed. If any of you had anything interesting sexual capability then you wouldn’t be such cold fishes.”
“Enough!” 18 screamed as she slapped her palms onto the table. Glaring at Bulma she thought, how dare this woman call them that, sure they weren’t kinky or as fun as her but calling them cold fishes was crossing the line.
“I got something interesting that I can do, I’ve never done it with Krillin because I don’t know how he would react. Nonetheless, it can be seen as sexual in nature to the right person.” 18 was afraid to even say it to Krillin because she was afraid it would make him think she was a monster. But she had to say something and it was finally coming out.
“So what is it?” Videl asked.
Calming herself through breathing deeply, 18 told her secret.
“I can eat men whole with any of my orifices.”