"911, what’s you emergency?"

Caller: Uh...yes...um..um..it's my girlfriend. She’s sick. Um…I don’t know what to say, but I think…

Operator: OK, get a hold of yourself. Now, what is your girlfriend’s name?

Caller: Darla…Darla…we..she lives at 65748 Hill Drive..

Operator: I have emergency personnel on the way. They will be able to help you if you tell me what’s wrong.

Caller: I can’t believe, but I think she’s growing, I mean…um..she’s growing really tall! Please, please help.

(Loud female moan heard in the background)

Operator: Are you two using drugs or are you drinking?

Caller: It’s 10 AM, I’m not drinking. I’m cold sober!

Operator: Help is on the way…please stay on the line.

----------------------

Within five minutes two squad cars and an ambulance arrived at Darla’s house. The officers didn’t need to knock on the front door to know what was happening. Darla’s freshly painted red toes had protruded onto the neighbor’s driveway, having overturned a car. Feet as tall as an average man stood upright, having toppled over the property-bordering white picket fence. Darla lay in the pool like no more than she might soaking in a bath. Long dark hair lay among the fresh green grass, brush and flower beds. Jay stood just outside the patio door gawking at the giant beauty as she continued to grow. Before his eyes, Darla’s silky legs gained length, snaking further into the neighbor’s property. The sound of concrete walls, patio furniture and tree branches snapping, cracking and crunching under the weight of an ever-expanding woman filled the air.

Darla lay in the pool, hands and arms at the pool’s edges. “Please, someone help me!” Darla begged. “Help is her, baby!”, Jay assured her. Darla’s hair thickened as it seemed to become more full and sexy. Her lips became more pouty and full as her arms, hands and fingers stretched to insane lengths. Darla adjusted herself to be more comfortable in the pool. Water splashed up all over the yard.

The police, upon entering the backyard were in utter shock. “Uh, dispatch, we have a rather weird situation here. Well, how should I put this…we have a woman here…she’s…uh…she’s a giant. Please call…I dunno, maybe 100 feet! Please call for back up, she’s still growing!

I’M REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE HERE. I CAN’T JUST SIT IN THIS POOL WHILE YOU ALL FIGURE OUT WHAT CAUSED ME TO GET THIS WAY…AND THEN CURE ME. I’M SORRY, I JUST HAVE TO GET UP. “Ma’am, I know it’s hard, but for the safety of your neighbor and for your privacy, I urge you to stay put,” an officer pleaded with the tall beauty. “Baby, do what they say, please!”, Jay urged.

I’M REALLY SORRY, Darla began apologetically, BUT I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE! Darla began to rise as she placed her hands firmly on the pool’s sides, lifted as she brought her impossibly long legs closer in. Gallons upon gallons of water poured down her length as Darla slowly rose to her feet, which lay in the depths of the pool. Jay and the officers looked up in awe at the giant.

She was 150 feet tall, towering over houses, trees, power lines and of course everyone in the world. WHOA!, OMIGOD. THIS IS SO FREAKY! Darla’s bikini had survived the expansion and looked sexier than ever. The bikini was one Darla was looking forward to wearing to the beach and impressing all the guys. And now had the opportunity to show it off to the world. No one could look as good as her in the super sleek fabric with molten shine, featuring a halter top with deep plunge neckline with ties at the neck and back and better yet, a low-rise bottom with “moderate” coverage. The sun reflected blindingly off the swimwear as seemingly millions of strands of dark hair cascaded off the head and onto the face and shoulders of the giant.

Looking down at the people there to rescue her, Darla was speechless. An awkward silence fell over the scene as Darla raised her arms and shrugged her shoulders in dismay and embarrassment…UM, WHAT CAN I SAY? THIS IS REALLY WEIRD! Jay and the officers just stared in stunned silence. Darla then scanned the landscape, which included the countless houses, rows of streets, lampposts, carefully planted trees and cars in driveways and on streets. She could see cars leaving garages as her neighbors assumed their regularly scheduled treks to work and school. It seemed no one had spotted her yet.

OH, NO, Darla moaned as five more cop cars showed up at her door, the occasional siren blaring intermittently. OK, I THINK IT’S TIME I MADE MY EXIT. A GIRL CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH OF THIS. IF YOU DON’T KNOW HOW I GOT THIS WAY, THEN MAY BE YOU GUYS SHOULD BE WRITING TICKETS OR SOIMETHING. PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS BREAKING THE LAW. Darla placed her hands on her hips in an act of defiance and superiority. “OK, Ma’am, please be patient. Just stay where you are. Don’t do anything stupid, people might get hurt,” the police pleaded. Darla wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes as she sighed with impatience.

OH, FORGET IT! Darla lifted her feet out of the pool and stretched her right leg menacingly over her ranch-style house and onto the front lawn, feet and toes landing with a thud that set off car alarms throughout the neighborhood. Darla assessed the area, noting the seven police cars just at her feet and power lines she’d need to negotiate. Two cars heading down the street in Darla’s direction collided with a parked vehicle and a tree, respectively as their drivers either couldn’t take their eyes of the goddess or were completely taken aback by Victoria’s Secret’s new sleek and shiny bikini design.

I’M SOOO OUTTA HERE!