“Look, can I ask you something?” Jason continued.

“Sure,” replied Robert.

“Have you always been fat, or is it just a recent change? You don’t mind if I call you fat?”

“Heck no, I’m FAT!” Robert replied. “Do you mean, is what you see here just the freshman 15 or have I put on more?” Robert continued, slapping his formidable gut with one hand, sending ripples rolling through the soft flesh.

“Yeah, sort of,” rambled Jason. “I mean, I didn’t used to be a fat guy, just sort of stocky, but I’m the biggest frosh in my frat, and I like to eat, so the guys make me eat, and I know I’d put on a few pounds, the freshman 15, only now I’ve decided I’d like to get bigger and I'm going for the freshman 50. You’re a sophomore, right? How big was your freshman '15'? And what did you mean about ‘encouraging’?”

“Slow down,” begins Robert, “yeah, I’ve always been a chubby guy - you’d probably say fat - my mum even had me on diets - but last year I...