“Of course I’m coming. I have to be here to rub it in your face when my team wins.” You brag. This, of course, sets off a long string of flirtatious boasts as you and Ashby go back and forth; the same thing that happens every year. Whose team is better, who’s going to make who look stupid, etc.

“God, you two need to settle this once and for all.” Dee says. “We’re sick of hearing about it.”

“You mean our two teams?” You ask.

“No!” Katrina butts in. “The fact that the two of you so obviously want each other.”

“Yeah, I guess both of them.” Dee says.

You and Ashby laugh, trying to disarm the situation, but the roommates stand firm.

“You should have a bet.” They say. “If Troy’s team wins, Ashby, you finally have to fuck him.”

“What do I get if I win then?” Ashby asks, pretending as though sleeping with you wouldn’t be a reward for her.

“Then you finally eat him and we settle this once and for all.” Dee says. “I mean, you heard him earlier, he says he doesn’t even have any future plans because he’s always been planning on you wolfing him down.”

Suddenly, Ashby says something unexpected. “So if he wins, I have to do him, but if I win then I get to eat him. I’m down.”

You, who have not said anything in this exchange, now look at her in shock.

“What do you say, Troy?” the roommates ask. “50/50 shot you get laid out of this.”

“And a 50/50 shot you end up in the commode.” Ashby comments.