"Shut up Baa-Chan, stop trying to interrupt one of the best parts!"

"So the man who killed Jiraiya came to the village looking for me, and completely destroyed the village with all of its strongest jonin in it. Kakashi, Gai, you Baa-Chan... Yet none of you could stand up against him. He completely wiped the floor with you guys and killed a lot of the villagers."

"Naruto pl..."

"So that's when I arrive. I arrive to see a completely destroyed Konoha, and see you Baa-chan, barely able to stand and challenging Pain. Pain would've quite easily killed you at that point. But luckily for you, me, the terrible and idiotic ninja stepped in. I used the power of sage mode to do what no one in Konoha could do, I defeated Pain."

"But you...The Kyubi was the one that..." Tsunade started.

Naruto grinned. "I did release the Kyubi didn't I? I got so damn pissed off when I watched Pain kill one of my friends because she was trying to help me... I guess I couldn't help it. But is the Kyubi before you now? No. That's because with my father's help, I resealed the old fuzzball. Now stop interrupting Baa-chan, because we aren't even to the best part yet."

"So after I defeated all of the paths of pained, I, who you deemed an idiot, was able to figure out a way to track the final Pain. I tracked him down on my own, and I confronted him. And even though he had killed countless villagers, including both Kakashi and Jiraiya, I was able to talk to him calmly, and through our talk Pain aka Nagato gained faith in me and revived all of the villagers he killed. So half the people that you bitches see everyday wouldn't be alive if it weren't for me. But I'm just a crappy ninja right? Anyone could've done that..."

"Naruto we're..." Sakura started.

"But we're STILL not to the best part!" Naruto interrupted with a happy smile. "Nope! But why don't we fast forward a little bit because quite honestly, the next thing I'm about to mention hurt like a bitch and I really don't want to spend too much time on it."

"I went to Iron Country to convince the Raikage to drop the order to kill on Sasuke... for you Sakura."

Sakura's eyes widened. She knew where he was going with this.

"And after receiving some disturbing news related to Sasuke that literally fucked with mind, enter Sakura-chan! And oh look everyone! Sakura-chan loves me!" Naruto crowed with a bitter smile. "Oh wait... nope. That was just a lie. She was just trying to use my feelings to get me to stop chasing after Sasuke so she can deal with him herself. Ah, THAT sounds more like the Sakura we know doesn't it?" Naruto winked.

"But let's move on from there. This next part is my absolute favorite. This is a reason neither of you have ANY excuse to be treating me like this. Realizing I needed more power to save the world, and realizing that my father sealed the Kyubi within me because I trusted I could master its power, I unsealed it and had a battle of wills with the most powerful and terrible demon to ever walk the earth."

"Now tell me Sakura-chan, do you see the Kyubi right now?"

"No..." Sakura quietly replied like a scolded child.

"Baa-chan? See any Kyubis around here?"

"No..." Tsunade mumbled.

"Really? No Kyubi's, why is that... OH MY GOSH!" Naruto screamed. "That's because I managed to control the Kyubi isn't it? Tell me something Baa-chan, if all my determination was from the Kyubi, how did I manage to beat in in a battle of wills then?"

"I don't know..." Tsunade mumbled.

"I was able to beat the Kyubi because I had people to protect!" Naruto answered as if he were teaching a child the most basic thing ever.

"And to bring this story to an end, I combined the Kyubi's power with my own and saved the whole fucking world. Now tell me Tsunade, Sakura, does that sound like the story of a pathetic and idiotic ninja to you?"

"No..." Both women mumbled in unison.

"No fucking duh."

"But I still have the contract..." Sakura mumbled weakly. Sakura would never know why she mumbled that, frankly after listening to Naruto tear into her and Tsunade she felt horrible. But old habits die hard I guess...

Naruto started laughing at her. "As if anyone in this village could enforce that contract. Besides, I'm leaving this stupid village, so I wouldn't be able to "serve" you anyways Sakura."

"What do you mean...leaving?" Sakura asked hesitantly.

"I mean I'm leaving this stupid village and never coming back. I've made some good memories here and there, and made a couple of friends along the way, but overall, this village has done nothing but torture me my entire damn life. I thought it was getting better, I thought I was gaining respect. Then the Hokage and the girl who's opinion means more than anyone else's in the world to me go and pull this shit. I'm stubborn, and I don't like giving up, but enough is enough. I don't have to put up with this crap, so I won't."

"Naruto, as Sakura's slave you aren't allowed to leave the village without Sakura's permission, does he have your permission Sakura?" Tsunade asked in a strong voice. She also felt terrible for what she did to Naruto, but she now realized that the only way they were going to keep Naruto in the village was if he was under Sakura's control.

"No..." Sakura meekly replied.

Naruto chuckled. "I already told you, I'm not Sakura's slave. No one in this village can enforce that."

"Don't be so confident brat." Tsunade replied icily. "Sakura and I can take you."

Naruto burst out into laughter. "Are you fucking kidding me? You two? HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm a sage, I've mastered the Kyubi's power... those are two reasons you can't touch me. But more importantly, you two are way too slow to contend with my father's flying thundergod technique."

Tsunade cracked her knuckles together menacingly, and Sakura followed her master's lead.

"We'll see about that brat..." Tsunade threatened. Naruto gave her a cheeky grin.

"Oh wow, this is priceless. Ok ok, fine. I'll give you a shot. I'll fight both of you without using the Kyubi's power, I wouldn't want either of you contributing my victory to the Kyubi after all! Now, if you win, I'll be Sakura's perfect little slave. You'll never see another glare from me nor hear another complaint. But if I win, I get to leave the village without becoming a missing nin. Not that I can't handle whatever Konoha throws at me, it's just I would prefer NOT to have ANBU and hunter nins coming after me when I move to another village."

"Deal." Tsunade replied. "You're way too full of yourself Naruto."

Naruto chuckled. "Likewise Hag. Now then Sakura-chan, Baa-chan, can we get this fight underway? I really want to get out of your presences sooner than later, because frankly the mere sight of you is enough to piss me off."