January, the 22nd

We held our Baptist-Catholic service in our home, in what used to be the master bedroom. I dressed normal because old Father Francis, who helped at the 2nd Vatican Council, always said God did not like anything fancy but Eddie donned himself with a jacket and a tie. It is fortunate that the owners of this house had kids.

First we only used a simple cross with no Jesus in it and candles. Like I'd rather have an image of our Lord, but I think Eddie feels better this way. We had to make our cross with two pickets from the fence, btw, so it is white and odd. The only Bible we could find in this house was a Gideons' one, so that's the one we used. I proposed one reading from the Old Testament, one Psalm and one reading from the gospels, and Eddie said OK.

The whole celebration went like this

a) Hymn - Amazing Grace + 1 hymn Eddie knew.
b) Prayers. We prayed almost for anything.
c) Readings.
d) Our Father who art in Heaven...
e) More prayers. We thanked God.
f) More Hymns.

We loved every minute, but it was odd for most of us. I don't know if God will be pleased because we did not do everything right. I hope Eddie is right when he says it doesn't matter.

I had a nightmare. That woman went for me, and shoot me but I did not stopped but kept on walking very slowly towards her and then I bit her...

I can't become a monster. And I'm afraid I could, not like a zombie, but... you know... they said it was bad for kids to see people die. What about see the whole world die? I could be traumatized. That's why I sometimes don't speak for hours...

Thank God Eddie is getting used to that, but I'm scared all the same. Scared about the virus; about that woman; about being screwed by God.

Scared about me. About me, big time.

Oh, Eddie and me have made a drawing of our home. That's how it looks, more or less.