“It started with a flash in the sky, and a ripple through the clouds. Nobody knows what caused it exactly, but the Avengers were the first on the scene. All of a sudden, the Scarlett Witch, Wasp, Tigra, and She-Hulk felt themselves being taken over by an unknown force. The hunger is what brought it here, and feed it did, until the heroes we knew were no more, and were instead replaced by even hotter versions of themselves. I know right? I was slack jawed to, but soon, we all found out just how things were going to be from now on. The next thing Captain America knew, some of his teammates were EATING SUPERVILLAINS! By the time S.H.I.E.L.D. showed up, Scarlett Witch had wolfed down Quicksilver, Tigra had the White Rabbit filling her belly, and I had caught Wasp gobbling up Electro. Naturally, after seeing Janet ingest the mother of all bug zappers, everyone was pretty freaked out, me included. Sure I was happy for Jan’s assist in knocking out Electro, but then she started stuffing him in her mouth and my jaw dropped just as much as hers. I tried to stop her, but she just zapped me into a wall. At least she apologized while licking her lips though.”

“Although as shocked as the rest of us, Fury was never speechless and berated all of the girls, while all they did rub the fat bellies stretching their spandex. At one point, they all at once burped in his face and actually knocked him on his kesiter. That sent the Black Widow off as she yelled obscenities you kiddies at home should never learn. Fortunately, She-Hulk then hoisted her into the air, and Black Widow screamed all the way down. I gotta admit, seeing She-Hulk swallow someone whole like a giant snake wasn’t the scariest thing for me personally, but rather how much tighter I felt my tights becoming.”

“I wanted to ram my head into She-Hulk’s fist; one of now several human beings was just eaten alive by people I know and work with, AND I LIKED IT?! Well yeah, later on I had to admit to myself, watching Jen suckle and lick Black Widow’s knockers and the rest of her all packed into that skin tight leather is unquestionably hot, but before that, something very interesting happened. A few seconds after Jen belched up one of the Black Widow’s shoes, the Black Widow picked it up!”

“At this point, everyone’s bottom jaws were now cracked from the several concrete hits, as we saw the real Black Widow alive and well, save for being drenched in spit. It was anyone’s guess what was in Jen’s belly then, but it eventually digested…along with the supervillains.”

“So Reed, Stark, Professor X, and all the other big brains were called in to address and hopefully contain the situation, but they soon found the latter to be impossible. In that one, every single person without a Y-Chromosome and with powers were all going through the same thing. Heck, even some of them who didn’t have any powers went through the same thing, which confused everybody even more. Naturally this made everyone pretty nervous, but then the girls came to our meeting and told us their side of the story.”

“They pleaded with everyone not to cast them out or try to lock them away, saying they were still the same heroes we all know and love. In fact, I was actually the one to then point out that what ever caused this thing also brings back good people when eaten, just not villains. At this point, everyone slowly but surely got on the same page. There were still a lot of unanswered questions, but this may not be the big disaster everyone thought it would be. If that wasn’t enough, Deathbird of all people suddenly teleported into the room, leaving any X-men pretty dumfounded, especially when they got a good look at her.”

“Her armor was now easily five times bigger than before, but it was still pretty tight since now there was a lot more of Deathbird filling. She was now round enough to be called Deathstar. On top of that, she had this drooling smile and a look of sheer ecstasy, which again made me uncomfortable. Lilandra then teleported next to her and Deathbird fell onto her knees, making her giant boobs bounce out of her top….yeah.”

“She actually begged and pleaded everyone to let her stay here, and told us that she had spent the last day eating every lowlife that worked for her. She said she never imagined something could feel so good…well okay, here words were A LOT more vulgar, but she also said that it wasn’t just the eating, but getting fat to. I saw plenty of murmuring going on amongst the girls, but meanwhile Lilandra once more begged for her sister, stating that what had happened to her had completely changed her. It was then that everyone agreed how much we loved this change.”

“Sure there was the question on whether it was right to digest and kill someone, heck even I asked myself that, but now, honestly things have never been better. Crime is going down everyday, the girls have never been happier, and certain folks like, well we’re benefitting in another way to. Hey look, Nickelback!”

Down below in Time Square, that very band started to rock for all to see.