Some days start out looking like everything is going to go well, but then you get a curveball that just throws everything out of whack. For Karen Starr, aka Power Girl, that curveball was the Ultra-Humanite not only attacking with robotic sentries, but lifting the ENTIRE ISLAND OF MANHATTAN INTO THE SKY! So why did he do that? Just so he could get Power Girl’s attention, capture her, and transplant his brain into her body.

Now, plenty of men want to get into Power Girl, just not in such a disturbing way. Most of them wanted her for her body, which made sense since her chest was as big as her head, but Humanite wanted to have all the power she possessed to be as strong as he was smart, and he almost succeeded. He had drained some of the solar radiation out of her cells, enough to cut her head, but the so called genius apparently forgot that Kryptonians get freezing breath when under a yellow sun. He probably thought she was stupid, a dumb blonde victim that was all body and no brains, which was frankly what he intended to make her either way, but unfortunately for him, Power Girl likes it when people underestimate her.

Kara felt so great when she slammed that ugly monkey into the wall of his spaceship. What did not feel so great was accidentally dousing him with chemicals that left him looking like a one eyed Freddy Krueger. To make matters worse, the only way she had to save the city was to cut every single cable that held it all at once so Terra’s Earth Catcher’s Mitt could steadily hold it. Power Girl managed to do it, but there was the matter of the damaged spaceship falling out of the sky. Fortunately, she was able to slow its descent and land it safely in the ocean.

Beachgoers then got plenty of photos of her dragging the Ultra-BBQ-Humanite out of the water, though Power Girl suspected most of the photos were to capture her in her tight and now wet costume. With a bigger issue at hand, she as usual had to ignore the perverts, along with some guy in a corduroy jacket and a hat asking why she only wore one shoulder pad.

“God I hate you so much.” While Power Girl caught her breath, she had to listen to the Ultra-Humanite being a sore loser. Sure, his entire body was burned, but as he kept on clenching his fists, she was certain his bigger concern was his giant ego being harmed by being beaten. Frankly, she wanted to tell him to get over himself since plenty of other heroes had kicked his hairy butt, but instead she told him “You lost. Now I’m getting you some medical attention for those burns and some psychological help.”

“I don’t need help. I need…for you to hold still!” the tired monster suddenly sprung to life as his arms lashed out and grabbed Power Girl’s. Still weakened from that solar drain, she was tugged his way and his other fist slammed into her arm where she felt a sting. Crying out, she looked to see the Ultra-Humanite now holding an empty hypodermic. He had managed to snag it before Power Girl came into the ship and got him out, hidden in his fist up until now. Naturally, she asked him “What the hell was that?!”

Ultra-Humanite’s laugh sounded a lot more like a cough, but he still grinned at his foe “Just relax.” Power Girl actually did as she was told as she immediately felt herself getting drowsy fast. She held her head just before falling over and onto the beach. The bystanders all gasped, but then screamed as gun-toting animal men stomped their way onto the scene. As she felt the ground tremble with them around, and Power Girl heard a familiar and maniacal villainess cackle, the last thoughts she had before passing out were “I’m confused…and hungry.”

What the Ultra-Humanite didn’t know was that he injected Power Girl with the wrong substance. What he thought was just a powerful sedative for the brain surgery was actually a compound he planned to use in another evil scheme, which was derived from the DNA of the Ix Negaspike, an alien creature that is a voracious eater, with one being able to devour an entire planet. So, now that stuff is running through Power Girl’s veins….anyone else expecting trouble?





Power Girl groaned as she slowly started to regain consciousness. She felt like her whole body wasn’t just telling her to go back to sleep, but slip into a coma. She knew she couldn’t rest anymore, especially when her eyes finally adjusted to show her in a cell, and the door suddenly opening to reveal an unfriendly face.

“Rise and shine blondie.” Satanna ordered her. Even though she the overwhelming feeling of the serum had Power Girl really out of it, she could see that Satanna had come prepared, dressed in a leopard print power suit and carrying a giant mallet. Satanna then added “Get on your feet. I can’t risk you being carried this time. Some of my strongest soldiers broke their backs lugging your fat ass around.”

“That really hurt…coming from someone with a purple crotch plate.” Power Girl mocked her armor as she stumbled onto her feet. She quickly slammed into the wall and groaned while she clutching her sides. She knew her strength was back, but voiced why she still felt so weak “It feels like my organs are being twisted.” While Satanna just sneered “Seems appropriate. If it helps though, soon you’ll lose the least used one.”

Power Girl felt sick to her stomach, but at the same time, she felt like eating just about anything right now. Kryptonians really didn’t need food, while her gut did flip flops, she somehow at the same time wanted to make a pig of herself. As her stomach bubbled and grumbled loduly though and her groans of pain grew louder, making Satanna grin even more, Power Girl still managed to say “I get it, you get aggressive without some monkey lovin’. Didn’t I see an episode of Friends about that?”

That joke cost her however as a blow to the head slammed her right into the ground. Satanna’s Sonic Boom Hammer seemed to do the trick, but now even she was cringing at the noises Power Girl and her belly were making, and questioned the intentions of her old boyfriend “Man, is Gerard sure he wants ‘this’ body?”