Kim was in a foul mood, even more then normal, when she arrived for band practice. Slogging her way into the house from the cold Canadian winter wonderland outside, she hung up her coat and joined everyone else in the living room. Kim had no reason to be upset other then she spent the evening alone in her apartment and she felt crumby about it. It had been months since she had gone on a date and she couldn’t even remember the last time she got laid. She was in a sour mood and just hoped she didn’t have to deal with anything annoying today.

“Hey Kim!” Scott cried out with all the enthusiasm of kid in a candy store. He was standing with Knives and Ramona sporting a smile big enough that Kim could count all his teeth. Kim closed her eyes and shuddered at the positive vibe Scott was giving off. The only thing that made being miserable worse was when someone was in a much better mood. Spotting Stephen sitting on the couch with a blank expression on his face, Kim sat down beside him to avoid the big ray of sunshine that was Scott Pilgrim.

“What’s up?” Kim asked as she sat down beside Stephen and leaned back. Stephen blinked, turning his head slowly to Kim with the same empty look on his face he whispered into her ear, “You notice anything about those three?”

Kim stared at Scott, Ramona and Knives, noticing that Ramona was wearing a black leather jacket over a blue long-sleeved shirt, with a tight black leather skirt that matched her nylons and boots. Knives outfit was very similar to Kims. They both had tennis shoes on and were wearing blue skirts, but Knives still had on her black and white jacket. Both of the girls looked good, then when Kim looked at Scott she saw that he had on a creased ratty shirt, a pair of jeans with a stain on it and his socks didn’t match. Kim huffed softly before turning to Stephen to answer. “I notice that with those two standing close to Scott he looks like an even bigger slob?”

“No! Not that!” Stephen hissed and pointed to the three young adults. “Look how close they all are?”

Rolling her eyes, Kim looked back at the trio focusing on them all together instead of individually. That’s when she noticed that Stephen was right, they were hanging out pretty close together. Kim saw Knives chest brush against the side of Scott’s arm in plain view of Ramona, but the blue haired girl didn’t bat an eyelash. Scott had his arm around Ramona, but Kim was able to see his other hand on Kim’s back. Kim’s face slowly drained of color like Stephen’s did as she saw something that didn’t compute.

“What the Hell’s going on with you three!” Kim screamed, making everyone in the room jump back, even Stephen who was thrown behind the couch. Smiling nervously, Scott tried to play dumb. “W-what do you mean? Nothing’s going on. You’re silly. Hahaha!”

Kim narrowed her eyes as Ramona and Knives both sighed at their boyfriend’s inability to lie properly. Kim crossed her arms over her chest and growled at the trio. “If nothings going on, why is Knives’s hand on your butt?”

“Hehe, oops,” Knives weakly said as she pulled her hand off Scott’s butt. She couldn’t help herself and now Kim knew something big was up. Ramona shook her head, knowing it was going to take a convincing lie to keep their relationship secret. They had decided, technically she decided, that the less people that knew they were all dating each other the better. Ramona didn’t want their reputation to be destroyed. She could just imagine what people would say if they found out that they were all having sex with each other. Ramona had lived through having her dirty laundry being made public and didn’t want to have that happen again.

“The truth Kim is that I’m dating both of them again, but this time they know. Heck, it was Ramona’s idea,” Scott explained and Ramona facepalmed. So much for keeping their relationship private. Feeling a migraine coming on, Ramona was ready to excuse herself when Scott wrapped each arm around her and Knives’s waists and pulled them closer. With the two girls pressed up against his side, Scott proudly said, “I’m dating Knives and Ramona. If you guys can’t handle it tough luck because I love them both.”

Ramona smiled happily at her boyfriend, finding his lack of tact nice for a change. He was a terrible liar, lacked any self-control and made bad decisions, but he cared deeply for them and was proud of it. Ramona would have given him a kiss right there, but Knives grabbed his head after he said he loved them and crushed her lips to his. Ramona could hear them exchanging a sloppy kiss from the wet slurps they made as they kissed. She even saw Knives’s cheek move as Scott moved his tongue around her mouth. Ramona watched them closely, but didn’t feel a shred of jealously, mostly because she knew that once that kiss ended it would be her tongue in Scott’s mouth.

“Wow….just wow,” Stephen mumbled as he watched Scott kiss Knives and when that was done turn his mouth to Ramona’s lips. Kim remained silent, unable to decide whether she should be angry, happy or jealous that Scott had seemingly started a harem. Kim wanted to talk to Stephen, but he was too busy idolizing Scott.

“Awesome,” Stephen squeaked and scampered towards Scott who had just finished cleaning Ramona’s tonsils with his tongue. Grabbing his slacker friend, Stephen ushered him out to the kitchen where he could get all the juicy details. It took Kim one awkward second to figure out she was now alone in the living room with Scott’s two girlfriends. Fan-Fucking-Tastic.