Alarms blared inside the Planet Express ship as it’s crew calmly tried to keep the ship flying. Or at least the captain retained her cool, everyone else just ran around screaming.

“WWAAAHHH!” In a voice more suited for a little girl, Philip Fry, or just Fry to his friends, enemies and acquaintances, ran around, waving his arms as smoke filled the room. His mad dash came to an abrupt stop when he ran face first into another terrified member of the crew.

“I can’t die! No one pretty or rich ever dies!” Screamed Amy Wong, resident intern and ditzy Asian. She wasn’t even supposed to be on the ship, but had come along because she was bored and there was nothing but reruns of ‘Everyone Loves Hypnotoad’ to watch. Wishing she was back home, watching paint dry on the competitive paint drying channel, Amy clung to Fry as the ship rocked and more fires spread.

“Well, we’re boned,” grumbled the ships only robot and Fry’s best friend, Bender. The robot leaned against the wall, smoking a cigar he’d lit from a fire coming off his arm. He watched the pathetic meat bags scream themselves silly with distain. Why couldn’t they be more like him, screaming insanely in his mind and begging Robo-Jesus to save him?

“Shut up guys! I’m trying to stabilize the ship!” Screamed Leela. A mutant purple haired Cyclopes, Leela was as strange as she was talented. Master of the rare kickassfu, Leela could knock your teeth down your throat and pilot a ten-ton space ship past a black hole. Right now though, she’s give up all her fighting prowess just to have her ship running properly.

Grumbling to herself as she tightly clutched the steering wheel, Leela tried desperately to try and keep the ship from spinning out of control. “I knew this mission was going to kill us. I just knew it!” As an intergalactic delivery ship, they brought packages to every corner of the universe. Today’s delivery; nitroglycerin, fireworks, gas and easily flammable oily rags. Leela had put Amy in charge of making sure that the cargo didn’t blow them to kingdom come, but she had passed it on to Fry, who passed it on to Bender, who passed it on to his lit cigar. They barely got out of their own galaxy before the cargo went up in flames. With half of the ship on fire, Leela was trying to get the ship stabilized so they could land somewhere safe to make repairs. She needed complete concentration.

“Oh Fry!”

“Oh Amy!”

Turning sharply around, Leela stared at her two human crewmates in an intimate embrace, trying to clean each other’s tonsils with their tongues. Fry had his hands all over Amy, squeezing her tight ass through her sweat shorts while moving his hands under her top to get to her breasts. Amy meanwhile was trying to get Fry undressed as they kissed, already getting his pants down to his knees. They looked about a second away from humping like sex-crazed bunnies.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Leela screeched, completely forgetting about the current disaster as she watched Amy and Fry get it on right on the ship’s floor. The pair broke their embrace and looked at the fuming captain. Fry looked embarrassed, but Amy just shrugged her shoulders.

“What? Imminent death makes me horny.”

Snarling once more at them both, Leela turned back to the main screen in time to see the ship rocketing towards a green planet. Letting out a startled yelp, Leela grabbed the wheel and tried to pull up, but the gravity was too strong. Plummeted towards the planet below, Leela frantically tried to keep the ships nose up as the crew resumed screaming. Her last thought before the ship crashed was that at least her final moments weren’t being spent with Fry and Amy screwing behind her.




“Leela! Wake up!”

Leela’s eyes snapped open and she lashed out instinctively, sending her fist right between Fry’s concerned eyes. The delivery boy flew back and Leela unsteadily got to her feet. Quickly surveying the damage, Leela saw that no one was hurt beyond a few scratches and bruises and for Bender a foot deep dent. Stumbling towards Fry, she helped him up, not apologizing for knocking him down. Maybe the idiot would think twice before letting his cigar addicted robot friend guard a stash of highly explosive material.

“Where are we?” Amy asked as she looked out the shattered front window of the ship. Gazing out, the Planet Express crew saw a dense jungle of purple trees and strange flowers. A thick green fog covered the jungle floor making the surroundings look spooky. Scratching her head, Leela shook her head.

“I’m not sure. We lost our GPS (Galactic Position System) and nothing looks familiar. Maybe the locals can tell us where we are and help us fix the ship.”

“Unless they eat or enslave us first,” gulped Fry. Even after years in the thirty-first century, he hadn’t gotten used to dealing with the kind of monsters he used to see in cheesy horror movies. Leela scoffed at his worries.

“Fry, don’t be a racist. Not all aliens eat or enslave humans. Only about half of them do.” Pushing the delivery boy into the jungle, the crew left the ship to search for help. Pushing on into a green fog, the crew disappeared, unsure of where they are or how they were going to get home.