(Not me)

Cindy laughed and thought about all the places where she could put Riley. As several thoughts flew by her mind, her smile faded as she discovered that most of her options were limited. All possible choices would be considered perverted or just plain uninhabitable. Except for one.

""Fine then. I'll teach you to disobey me. Some time in my back pocket will do the trick!"

Cindy then stuffed the small boy into her back pocket like a stick of gum and walked off, humming a tune of a song from a recently released album of her favorite hip-hop artist, Sergeant Gutter.

Riley on the other was tossed back and forth around the denim prison with each and every movement Cindy's legs made. Eventually he was able to find a staple position in the corner of the pocket. Cindy's back pocket was home for an unusual sort of items. There was the typical pocket lint and miscellaneous coinage, but what really caught Riley's eyes was the bright red cylinder that stood erect behind him. The shiny surface and unique shape was unmistakable. It was a lighter. How did an eight year old girl acquire something as dangerous as a lighter? Riley didn't question it. Cindy was going to be Cindy. Besides, he himself had done way worse.

An idea formed in Riley's head as he marveled at the powerful red object. He could use this to escape from the clutches of the giant grade schooler! He hugged the lighter and gently brought it down so that he could access the button that would ignite the flame. As he brought it down to the bottom of Cindy's pocket, he noticed that Cindy had stopped walking. Riley froze in fear. Sweat beads dripped down his forehead and the temperature within the pocket rose significantly. Or perhaps it was only Riley's body temperature.

After a couple of seconds, which felt like years to Riley, Cindy moved again. Riley smiled and made his way to the switch. He pressed down on it with all of his might and...