Harris waddled through the palace, the cool marble floors underfoot. King Chandler was busy holding private audiences with important courtiers. He would have plenty of time now to handle the little mission that the king wanted him to take care of.

He headed out of the palace and around to the Royal Mews, where the horses and carriages were kept, parked, washed and fed. The king's personal assistant headed inside and was stopped by a large, fat man with a beard.

"Oy!" he said, "Wot're you...Oh!"

"Hello Reginald!" said Harris brightly. The beefy-looking head groom grunted and nodded, blocking Harris's way.

"Wot is it I can do for you then, sir?" the groom asked.

"I need to speak to one of your boys. He is wanted by the king".

"Oh? Which one?"

"The one named Jimmy".

The enormous groom burst into laughter! His huge belly heaved and wobbled up and down as he guffawed loudly, holding his sides and bowing over in uncontrollable sniggers!

"Roight!" he said, his deep bass voice booming loudly! "The KING...wants to see JIMMY, eh? Hahahahahahaha!!"

"He is quite serious, Reginald".

"Oh I bet!" said the head groom, laughing even harder!

"Really, Reginald!"

"Oh alright...C'mere..."

The huge man waddled into the stables.

"JIMMY! LOOK SHARP, M'LAD! C'MERE!"

At the back of the stables, a boy came out wheeling a wheelbarrow with a shovel sticking out of it. The heat and stench wafting from the barrow hit Harris's nose and he gagged!

"Go dump that shit outside on the compost 'eap and get back in here!" Reginald called out, "This here gennleman wants tah see you!"

"Arright! I'm gawn'!" said the boy. He plodded past, carrying the stench of horse-manure with him.

"How..." Harris began, fanning the stench.

You get used to it 'round horses", said Reginald.

A few minutes later and the boy, Jimmy, returned.

"Jimmy, this here's Harris. He's the king's personal wotsit...He wants you to go with him up to the palace. It's important is what it is".

Jimmy reeked of sweat and animal waste. By the looks of him, he hadn't had a bath in months! His brown hair was matted and sweaty and filthy. His skin was dark and grimey, his clothes were an abomination! They were ripped, stained, worn through and threadbare.

Once Harris got over the shock of the boy, he cleared his throat...

"Right. Now Jimmy, I want you to come with me. I have something important for you to do".

"Wossat, then?" Jimmy asked. "S'not about me puttin' 'orse gunk on dah Queen's flauwah beds, issit? I woz tawld to do that by the gard'ner..."

"No, no, no", said Harris, "It's not about the flower-beds...this way!"

Jimmy stared at the enormous and grand palace. He'd never gone inside. He'd never been allowed!

"Now," said Harris. "You are to see the king today, young man. And you must have a bath first".

"A baaath!?" the boy cried out. He acted as if Harris had just asked him to swallow an eel!

"A bath", said Harris. He led the boy into a small room where some servant-girls helped strip him naked and scrub him down thoroughly! He protested loudly, using language Harris had hoped his two sons would NEVER learn to pick up! When he was done, he was dressed in white servants' robes and brought back out.

"All done, m'lord Harris!" said an older servant-girl in her later teenage years, "Boy did he put up a struggle! Come along, girls! Let's deal with this water!"

"What do we do with it?" one of the girls asked.
"Well, we can put it into the Queen's flowerbeds..."
"Not this water! It'll be killin' all her tulips! Look at it!"

Harris cringed when he saw the servant-girls wheeling out the bathtub on a low-bed cart. The water in the tin bathtub was black with grime! Next to it, stood Jimmy, his brown hair brushed and tidied, his face and body scrubbed clean! His skin was a light tan colour, which was probably protected from fruther sunlight from the layer of grime that previously covered it!

"Come along, lad", said Harris, "Let's not keep the king waiting!"

Jimmy followed Harris, scratching himself in various parts of his body that were best left alone, and staring at the walls and the ceilings and at everything else in between!

"Your candles 'ere is made o' wax!" Jimmy mused.
"ARE made of wax", Harris corrected. "Yes they are. What would they made of?"
"Us candles is made o' taller!" he said. he pronounced it to rhyme with 'Pallor'.
"Taller?" Harris asked.
"Taller! Animal fats!"
"TALLOW, my boy".
"Yeh! Taller!"

Harris sighed. This boy BELONGED in the stables shovelling horse-dung!

He knocked on the doors to the throne room.

"Come in!"

Harris opened the doors and pushed the boy, Jimmy, inside. Harris followed. Jimmy was spinning around on his feet as he tried to take everything in! He finally reached the royal dais and gawped at the king, who he had before only ever seen at a VERY long distance!

"Look at the size of 'im!" said Jimmy, "'Es REAL fat 'e is!"

Chandler laughed good-naturedly and rubbed his belly, "Very nice to meet you too, Jimmy".

"Whooor! I'll say..."

Harris cleared his throat, "It is customary to BOW when in the presence of your Sovereign Lord, Jimmy".

"In the wot of a wot?"

"BOW to the KING!" Harris hissed.

"Awwww...Why'n'cha say so!"

Jimmy ducked his head.

Harris sighed. This was going to be a long meeting.