This wasn’t possible, this wasn’t happening! You try to scream in pain as a heel falls on top of your eye. It feels as if it just fits into the socket, AHAHAHAHHA! Your lips don’t open; you feel the back of your Mom’s heel just resting on them as if she was shushing you. Time stretches on minutes, hours, you can’t tell but your mind slows down. It had to be only minutes but you don’t understand that on a cognitive level.

Eventually you stop wasting energy trying to scream and just rest there, stuck…the heel just rests in your eye socket and it hurts, like your eye is being pushed into your head. You can’t move and are stuck looking more or less up. Your other eye is able to move a bit but you can’t blink. It makes no sense. You’re still you. How can Mom think you’re a foot stool?

That goes through your brain over and over, what…what is she seeing? It’s me, I’m here. You don’t feel different. You feel like you, just crouched low under the desk like you were before, but…smaller…It then hit you another difference, your knees originally ser stuck up against the other end of the desk but they weren’t now. It was like you fit…oh man, oh man, oh man, what is going on?

You feel your mom shift her foot, the one that was over your mouth around. From your one good eye you are just looking up along the side of this spike stiletto that is right in your face…before you can brace yourself POW your nose gets a swift kick. The hot shock and pain goes first and you know there is blood going down your noise but…no copper taste in your mouth, no wet feeling on your lips…no blood.

You can’t wrap yourself around it. You feel like…well you, it is just like before but you can’t be because your mom would never do this. She was a stickler for rules and propriety. If she had caught you under here she would have screamed bloody murder and tanned your backside, or at least ground you. But not this…what the hell happened?

Your questions go unanswered. You are stuck beneath the desk and eventually you start to smell the fragrance of leather, which you guess is from the shoes that have been shoved in your face. It doesn’t occur to you that you are still breathing but it just doesn’t make any sense…time is only broken up by the shifting of your mom’s feet sometimes up and then smashing back down or coming off for a brief respite which only lasts a few moments then WAMB, back down kicking your teeth in.

Just when you think you are about to crack you see the sharp heels lift off your face. Something is said above you, “Yah, I have to go home. Got to check on my son, he can be such a little sod some times. And good grief it’s summer.” There is another voice another woman, “that’s kids, have a good evening, Pam.” Mom thought you were a ‘sod’?

You try to see with your good eye, the other is too badly beaten to see clearly. The legs that would have been attractive if they hadn’t belonged to an abuser stood up away from you and disappeared. She was leaving. Mom was leaving and you were stuck here.

But then just as passively as all this began you were in a car. Not just any car but your car, well actually your mom’s car. You were behind the wheel in the driver seat. It just happened, you hadn’t even blinked, you couldn’t have blinked. But...but…but it didn’t matter now, you weren’t under the desk anymore and now you could get out of here and make sure…

Nothing happened. You tried to move, but couldn’t. You were stuck in the seat. You try to look down with just your eyes, and feel panic, you’re not there. There’s nothing there, just the empty seat under you. But…but…You feel it, you feel like you’re seated in the chair, you feel the car beneath your feet your arms are on the arm rest and on the door arm rest, your hand on the controls. What the hell is going on?

But like before your questions can’t be voiced. This is not happening, not again! Through the windshield you see Mom coming towards the car. Yes, she has to see you, no mistakes; you’re not hidden under a desk you’re right in plain view. She comes around to the driver side. You look with your eyes, yes, come on open the door and see me. She looks into the window as the door unlocks and pulls the door open…AHAHAHA!#$!%!#@%!@%!$%; your arm felt like it had been ripped off your shoulder. The pain was sudden and intense but temporary thank goodness. Then with absolute carelessness your mom gets into the car.

She turns around and sits on you…sits in your lap then brings her feet it and you feel the back of her knees rest against your legs. Reaching out she grabs the door handle and closes it. Pain hits your shoulder gain this time reconnecting you to your missing arm. It makes no sense but, then your mind clears and you realize your mom is sitting in your lap.

Pam leans back in the car seat making herself comfortable, adjusting herself and her skirt. Her head leans back against the head rest and she looks at her make-up in the rear-view mirror.

“OH,” a shudder goes through you. Your mom wiggles around shifting in your lap then leans back against your chest. You feel her shoulders through the business jacket, and oh, man you think you’re going to get an erection and it will dig into your mom’s bum and…SLAMB, your face gets head butted.

While the rest of you got gradual pressure, almost sensual, your face got smacked by the back of your mom’s head. She leans back into your face. You feel her hair smother you, there isn’t anything to see. But from you smell her shampoo. Her hair is thick and starts to cushion the hard skull that is pressing into your pliable face.

Pam finally gets comfortable and starts the car. One leg bends underneath the seat while the other works the peddles. She backs the car out and turns on the radio.

You feel your legs they feel like they are there, and then you feel your mom insert her smooth long feminine calf between and then curve it up and under you. This was wrong on so many levels…You hear the music, it is some chick singing crap you never would listen to but you notice your mom’s voice singing in and out with it, more of a hum than anything else and she pounces herself to the beat. Tightening her butt cheeks then relaxing tightening and then relaxing. Her shoulder blades rub up against your chest and you feel…oh no…