It started out bad, from the very beginning.
All the poking and prodding and both the boys grinning.

She tried to run away, she tried to be good,
She tried to make them stop as she knew she should.

They came ate her in pairs, from the left and the right,
They pulled at her hair, her dress and her tights.

So she kicked them at first, then bit at their shins,
She gouged at their eyes and clawed up their skins.

She grabbed hold of their crotches and held on with zeal,
Until the boys cried and pleaded and squealed.

She tore up their shirts and ripped off their socks
Only one thing left, she bit off their cocks.

As the police and ambulance pulled up to the horror,
She said "What's a crazy girl to do but ask for more?

So they went off to jail, those big bad brutes,
Carrying in their hands their little bloodied flutes.

The little crazy girl, she got to go home,
And now she doesn't have to live all alone.

For the State stepped in and said it was self defense,
but we all know it was the "Twinkie Offense".