Asking Shiro for help was like asking a feminazi for help finding your severed penis. Then again, Reisen's the reason youre asking for clothes in the first place! Sorry, 'Big Sis', but if anybody's gonna fondle your newly girly body, it's gonna be YOU!

"Uh... s...sure, Shiro!" you swallowed hard and forced a smile, "what do you have?"
Shiro smiled and replied, "....As a matter of fact... I do happen to have a nice set of clothes Princess Kaguya gave me that I havent tried on yet."
"WHAT?!" Kaguya's ears burned, "Y-Youre not seriously giving it to HER, are you?! That was specifically a gift for YOU! A stupid rabbit tramp like her doesnt deserve such luxury!" If she werent a girl, you'd sock her in the jaw! ...Wait a second... youre a girl too!

"On the contrary," Shiro disagreed with her new boss, "I think it'd might look better on her than it would me, anyway. Come, Alex."
As usual, whenever Shiro told you to come, you'd give her typical obedient reply: "Y...yes ma'am."

****************

Meanwhile, in the Makai shrine, Mr. Yamagawa continued his meditating, pondering the many many secrets of life... like the origins of earth, the fall of the Elder Gods, the Divine Divorce between Izanagi and Izanami, the miracles of the lotus blossoms, the mysteries behind the Muramasa and the Masamune, and the reasons why the Big Mac special sauce ISNT really Thousand Island Dressing... when he heard the ringtone on his cellphone go off.

*Aai ai ii yai, I'm your little butterfly... green, black, and blue making colors in the sky! Aai ai ii yai-* Yeah, he was a fan of Ayumi Hamasaki! So what?!
Tetsutaro flipped open his cell and put it to his ear. "Mushi mushi?"
"Hiya, boss! Remember me?" said the voice on the other line.
Tetsutaro raised his eyebrow and chuckled, "Tsk. Alex... still begging for your old job back?"
"Take another fucking guess," the voice sounded cold and perturbed for some reason.

Tetsutaro's smile dropped as he took another breath, "...Crane?"
"BINGO!" shouted the voice.
Big T sighed and pulled out a cigarette from his shirt pocket and dug around for his lighter.

"What exactly do you want? I'm a busy man."
"Oh no, boss!" Crane sounded upset, "You have all the time in the world for me. And I've got quite a lot of questions to ask you."
"I dont think youre in any position to question me, boy," said Big T.
"I beg to differ. Lying snakes that love to keep secrets from their own trust-worthy employees dont have that luxury. For example, I could come back from a hard day's work of doing YOUR dirty work and what do I hear? That my own boss put a hit out on me!"
Big T was silent for a moment. He finally found his lighter and lit up his cigarette.

"How did you find out?"
"One of your little bitches told me the whole story," Crane answered, "I'm sure you'll recognize her. She's the one lying in your bed with her jaw missing."

"I gave you a very important task to perform," Tetsu spoke, "and you did not perform that task. I told you to shoot to kill. You didnt kill."
"You told me to kill a scrawny gaijin loser with a blonde ivy league cut and a silly 'Harry Dresden is my co-pilot' t-shirt. You didnt tell me that loser was Alex!"

"...It was for the best," Tetsu replied, "It wouldve been hard to kill someone so close to you-"
"You dont know a fucking thing about us!" Crane shouted, "I feel no remorse for that failure. If he dies, the sooner the better."
"What's done is done, " Tetsu remained absolutely calm, "neither you nor Alex's services are needed any longer."
"Only fair to warn you boss," Crane warned, "I am NOTHING like that sissy Alex. Ms. Nagashima can vouch for that. I can be a very good friend and I can be a very powerful enemy."
Tetsu blew a puff, "So what are you going to do, Crane?"
"Since you paid me up front, I'll do exactly as you paid me," Crane told the big boss,"I'll find Alex and I'll skin the little twerp. And then I'm coming after you!"
"....Good luck," was all Tetsu said before hanging up his phone. He sighed hard and resumed puffing his cigarette.

********************

"C'mon, Alex!" Shiro called out to you from outside the dressing room, "let's see how it looks on you!"
You swallowed hard, still dumbfounded by the sorry excuse of an outfit youre wearing! Oh the shame of it all!
"I uh... really dont want to," you shout back.

"Oh youre coming out of there!" you heard Kaguya get irritated, "I spent an awful lot of daddy's money on that suit as a gift for your friend! Now youre coming out of there and showing it off! And damn you if there's even a tiny loose seam in it!"
Your face was going red with fear and embarrassment. There was no way in Hell you'd let yourself make a fool out of yourself, showing off the stupid suit youre wearing!

"Alex..." oh crap, Shiro's voice got cold again, "get out here now or we're going to spar later."
NEVERMIND!

"OK! OK! I'M COMING OUT!" and out of the dressing room you went... blushing like crazy in your disturbingly sexy Playboy Bunny outfit, consisting of a frilly red skimpy corset, pair of uncomfortably smooth net stalkings and black boots, dress suit collar, cuffs, and bow tie! All that was missing were the bunny ears and tail... which unfortunately, you already came with! If there was ANY suit in the whole that could make you feel less of a man, it was the godawful Playboy Bunny suit!
Worst even, the suit was WAY too tight in all the wrong places!

For the first time in a long long LONG, you actually see Shiro break into tears and laugh! Never in your whole career as a Yakuza have you seen a stone-cold soldier like Shino get in such an incredible laughing fit. Hell truly has frozen over.

"W...w...wow..." Shiro tried to talk while gasping for air from all that laughter, "...I...I... I didnt think it would THAT well on yo-o-o-o-ou!"
Kaguya, on the other hand, was not laughing. Still was still glaring at you. "Pst! It doesnt look THAT good on her! That suit was professionally designed to fit a defined figure like Shiro's... not a twig that looks like it's hiding two watermelons!"

Oy... part of you's wishing you stayed topless! Hell, part of you would rather wear Tetsutaro's special dress!

"Ok! Alex's finally dressed up!" Kaguya was getting impatient, "now can we PLEASE get to playing Ragnarok Online already?! Theyre giving away free special Boss Cards and I'm missing it!"
Shiro wiped a tear from her good eye and bowed, "As you miss my lady. And perhaps later, I can teach you the thrill of sparring?"
"...Is that like fencing?" Kaguya asked as the two of them headed back to their room.

Once again, you were alone, just the way you liked it at this point. As if you couldnt feel more embarrassed, you couldnt stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Shiro was right. It really did look good on you. Once again, you made the perfect woman.

*CLICK!*
"Hey!" you were almost blinded by a quick flash of light as well as a sharp clicking sound! That sounded exactly like a...

...CAMERA!!

"Hahahaha!!! Smexy suit, Alex-sama!" laughed the little cocky brat, Tewi... wielding a little camera!

"What the heck are you doing here?" you asked, going red from wearing the suit in public.
"Oh nothing much," Tewi put her hands behind her back and feigned an innocent facade, "...just creating a little blackmail."
"Blackmail?"
Tewi grinned, "I may have lost my spy camera... but it's a good thing I always carry a spare! And at the PERFECT time too!"

Your eyes widened... you know what she just did. It looks like she found a better target than Reisen to push around!
"Give me that camera!" you swipe at her, but she's just as quick as Reisen!
"Uh uh!" Tewi winked, "...I aint giving up this little baby to ANYBODY! However, I might give up a recent bit of crucial film... provided you do me a favor!" Great. Blackmail.
You put a hand to your curvy hip, "What do you want?"

"I want YOU to help me pull a prank of Ms. Inaba!" she explained, "conveniently enough, I remember seeing one of Reisen's special you-dolls wearing that exact same bunny costume."
...Oh, she's gotta be kidding!

"You dont really expect me to..."

Tewi nodded, "Yep! Youre gonna pretend to be Reisen's doll come to life! I got a little script for you I want you to memorize for tonight! I'm gonna film the whole thing and make a box-office movie out of it!" She HAS to be kidding!

"Uh, sorry... but I'm gonna be busy-"

"Busy doing what? Dying of embarrassment once this little picture reaches Eientei morning newspaper?!" that sneaky, conniving little- "Or heck, maybe I should sell it to a certain sleazy erotic nudy magazine... I'm sure YOU'D be a shoe-in for their new cover-girl!"

Oy! Damn this new suit! Already it's gotten you in trouble! Now your dignity is hanging by a thread! Do you dare submit to whatever bumbling scheme the twerpette has in store for you?