Libby guides you through the most perplexing series of hallways you’ve ever seen. They’re all primary colors, sticking up at slightly inaccurate angles and you seem to make five or six right or left turns at a time—you can’t be sure, but with the severely uneven floor, you might have even gone upside-down!

“Do you mages keep this place like this?” You ask towards Libby’s fast-leading witches’ hat.

“Mages? No! This place isn’t run by magic—heck there’s only a few mages in this whole house. It’s all held together by cartoon!”

“Cartoon? Is that a real, um, thing?”

“Hey, look around, newbie! Stuff here just ‘happens’ according to the admittedly whimsical plot twists of a cartoon. Now, here we are!”

“Oh,” you see her nameplate beside the door, “I didn’t know you shared a room with this ‘Lickety Split.’”

She opens the door. “I don’t. But I need some lunch for one of my new students, and I’m too tired to make anyone else right now.” The door shuts behind you.

“Hi!” You turn to see a beautiful girl, black like Libby, but with a slightly lighter complexion. Her hair is straight and sort of mid-brown. She is quite tall, maybe about 5’10, and looks rather fetching in a pure white gown that’s slit in the front over her right thigh. She gives you a pearly smile. “I don’t think I have a name yet, but it’s nice to meet you anyways.”

As she reaches to shake your hand, you suddenly figure out why this very real-seeming beauty is only a toon: she’s two dimensional! Her extended hand practically vanishes to its paper-thinness. You look at her hand, startled and unsure of how to shake.

She withdraws it. “Oh, ok,” she gives you her most glamorous smile, “I can get right to eating you then. Often when you guys eat us toons, we’re never heard from again, but Libby here tells me that we can’t do the same to you-you just keep coming back. So with nothing to fear, let’s have at you!”

“But, you’re, um…” How’s a 2D girl going to eat you? Her stomach is no thicker than paper!

Libby, quiet until now, gets up from the bed she was sitting on. With a smile, she produces a slender ivory wand from thin air and gives it a wave; you cringe fearing the worst!

And Nothing happens. Libby plops back down on the bed, seemingly satisfied. It’s then that you realize—she made you 2D!

“Mmmmm.” You look back at the nameless toon. “Now he’s more my type. Not knowing what to do, you decide to try and run.

And fall flat on your face as soon as your back is turned. Libby had only to blow a strong puff of air and you couldn’t stay up. “Here, let me help you with him.” You here her get up and in a moment she is above you. She picks you up, your shoulder pinned between her thumb and forefinger. “Naughty.” She crumples you up like paper and tosses you, presumable to her toon.

You hear the sound of tearing paper, and realize that you’re being eaten! It seems to come from all sides at once, and your 2D captor seems to be enjoying her meal.

You hear Libby say “I guess next time I should actually take him over and get him signed…” You blink.

Choice:

1)You wake up in the nurse’s office and head off to tri-Kappa with a bit more resolve.

2)You wake up in the nurse’s office and- Hey, you’re still 2D!