You suddenly decide that you’re more than fed up with everybody around here trying to get a free meal. With more than a hint of anger in your voice, you protest:
“Look, Kid, I’ll be calling the shots around here. No more of this playing stupid, no more telling me where to sleep, what to do—I came here to eat little kids like you, so si’down and keep your mouth shut! Oh, and the circus called; the elephant wants his ears back.”

Well, that seems to have done it. Lickety went from sitting stalk still to turning to deep purple during your little rant, and she suddenly bursts into the absolute loudest crying fit you’ve ever heard.


Needless to say, when it’s all over, you’re standing outside, and you have a new room assignment.

>Room 14641< That’s a pretty big room number! You approach the nearest person, a guy who appears perfectly normal, which almost stands out around here.
“Hey, can you tell me which building has the 14000’s?”
“Huh? How’d you get a number like that?”
You show him your room assignment, and he laughs. Maybe Lickety gave you a non-existent room?

“We don’t really have room numbers here, noob. Those are the directions. See, look. Through the green double doors there, you go right once, left 4 times, right 6 times, left four times, and then one more right turn. Always start with a right turn, and alternate.”

Somebody needs to teach the people who built this place how to do geometry! Mathematically, that shouldn’t work, but you soon end up facing a door that says “14641: Alise | Vacancy” You must be the vacancy, so you head in to meet Alise.

“Who are you?” Alise is about 5’6” with a medium build. She looks a bit contrasting; she is well tanned with black hair, but bright, bright blue eyes.

“Hi,” you reply, “I was rooming with Lickety Split, but she didn’t want me in there anymore, so I got moved here.”

“Huh. What happened to Libby?”
“Libby? The mage?”

“Uh-huh. My roommate.”
<Ominous sounding “duhn duhn duuuhnnn”>

“Oh, her. Well, um, she let me eat her.”
“Aaaaannnndddd...”
“And she didn’t come back?”
“WHAT?!?! How could you!!! You didn’t take the nurse’s potion!!!”

“Hey! No one told me!”
“OUT! NOW! Don’t come back until you’ve been to the nurse. And bring a release form; you’re not staying here until you’re safe!”

Decision time: