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This is a review for Rising Stars. I appreciate the opportunity to read your work. This review contains my comments, opinions and possibly some suggestions. However, every reader has different things they look for in a piece of writing and, therefore, please take my comments with a grain of salt. Always be true to yourself when writing, that is what makes your work special and unique. Having said that, here goes:
This is a wonderful free verse poem that really spoke to my heart. There is so much here, the beauty of love, the sadness of loss, the questioning of self as we always do when things do not work out and even a little anger and frustration at the object of affection and his inability to return the love so freely and tenderly given.
I think we all have likely gone through something like this. I know I have, and I have had all of the emotions that you express here in your poem. However, you do it in such a skillful way with your word choices. Your connection of amorphous feelings of love to pillowcases, trees and teaspoons keeps your poem from being just another sad poem about love, it grounds your poem in the reality of love. I have read your poem for weeks now because it spoke to me in such a deep way.
I generally prefer "traditional" poetry that has an even syllable count, alliteration, consonance and even some rhyming but your poem painted such a sensitive and soulful picture of unrequited or lost love, I did not mind at all the free verse style. Even the unusual indentation of certain verses within the stanzas made sense to me.
There are so many verses that I love in your poem. I would be hard pressed to choose a favorite, however, I really loved these:
at least I serve some use to you...
The song you hum,
but never sing...
I, too, have been the song he hummed but never sang. It is a hurtful thing but you expressed it so eloquently. Love is a song that swells in the heart and bursts forth from the mouth ecstatically, uninhibited in its desire to let the whole world know the treasure we have found. To hum and not sing boldly reveals the measure of love that is felt.
Thank you for a really gorgeous poem. I have read it so many times and likely will continue to do so.
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