Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;



Overall impression of piece: Three years in the Navy. I do get this, Never served in a sub . I was on an AOE stationed out of Bremerton. You have shown the culture pretty well, I am sure hospital corpsman school also had 3o% drop out rate. Of course we called it going to work for IBM--instant Bosun's mate. We had college graduates who couldn't pass

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked? I like your translations down in the bottom with the different colored faunt. It is a foreign language. You have used rhyme well. I had to check on what the scheme was, so it wasn't to contrived. Concusion was very heart felt and well done. I am drawn to writing, photography and teaching. time in the military was a strong part of my developement. I have recommended it to others.

What I disliked. Something to think about. : I think it is pretty good as written

How the piece made me feel:Ah yes. A trip down memmory lane. I too was a Westpac sailor. Most folks have no idea. You captured this well.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.



Michaelfrom Mountains