  Drama
This week: Believe You Can Do It, And You Will Edited by: NickiD89  
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When I take an honest look at my life, I realize every failed attempt at a goal could be attributed to one simple fact: I didn't believe I could achieve it. And the greatest failure of my adult life has been attempting to write a full-length novel.
During NaNoWriMo 2009, I wrote twenty-four chapters of Overcome, my first-ever novel work-in-progress. It was over 50,000 words and so a success, by NaNo standards. But in the course of 2010, I tried with increasing levels of desperation to write that story through to the end. I couldn't do it. I tried everything, including scrapping the partially written first draft and returning to the plotting stage. When my creative steam fizzled out nineteen chapters into the second first draft, I faced an ugly truth: I couldn't write the novel. And that truth was a fertile bed for fear. I was afraid I'd never write a novel.
You hear the phrases all the time: The Power of Positive Thinking; Self-fulfilling Prophesy; Positive Mindset. Rhonda Byrne sparked a phenomenon in her book The Secret, which is, in itself, a metaphor for believing a dream into reality. Byrne says, "Your current thoughts are creating your future life. What you think about the most or focus on the most will appear as your life."
Though writing is still on my front burner, there's another goal brewing in a pot next to it. You see, a couple months ago I took on a new goal, one that has me face-to-face with those principles of self-belief. The lessons I'm (re)learning have filtered through my new experiences and trickled down to my writing.
My new goal: On October 23rd, I will run my first half marathon. A 13.1-mile race is a lofty goal for someone who has never been a runner. I mean, jogging on a dreadmill at the gym a couple times a week, hardly qualified me as a runner. When a girlfriend recently shared her passion for long distance races, I told her it sounded wonderful...but wasn't for me. After all, I said, I'm not a runner.
But you know how it goes: a conversation stays with you, quietly tapping the shoulder of your mind until you finally turn and cry, "What? What do you want from me?" And at the time I was feeling blue, bored with life's regular chug-along. Two days later the weather was gorgeous. It was the first day to signal the end of summer with a bright blue, haze-free sky and low humidity. I decided to forego my gym workout and try an outdoors run.
It was ridiculously hard. My ankles and hip flexors ached, and my thigh muscles burned. I had to keep slowing to a walk to catch my breath. My lungs felt two sizes too small. I don't think I lasted even three miles. But something happened to me out there, sweating in the fresh air. Being outside, free from the stale, recycled air of the gym, unlocked a reserve of resolve I didn't know I had. And, I enjoyed the challenge of trying something new. That day, I decided I was going to be a runner.
I decided I was going to be a runner. When I told this to friends who are runners, they shared lots of suggestions for my success, including tips on training schedules, ideas for diet plans, and pointers on hydration and electrolyte replacement. But the overwhelming piece of advice offered to me was this: Believe you can do it.
Six weeks of training later, I've learned to what extent running is a mental activity. During the difficult legs of a course, particularly up the inclines or through the final miles of a long run, your mind must cheer your body on. Yes you can keep going! You've been up steeper hills than this! You're strong, you CAN make it!
Now, I run up hills without breaking stride or stressing my cardio-vascular system, because even though it's tough, I know I can make it. Twice now I've completed ten-mile training runs. Ten miles! With three weeks of training still ahead of me, I know I can finish a half marathon by race day. I believe it, because I am a runner.
" See the things that you want as already yours. Know that they will come to you at need. Then let them come. Don't fret and worry about them. Don't think about your lack of them. Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession." -- Robert Collier (1885-1950)
Not at all coincidentally, work on Piper Crow, (the working title of my second attempt at a novel) has been exciting and productive. This time, I will not let fear sniggle its way into my heart. I can write a novel because I believe I can do it.
After all, I am a novelist.
Thanks for reading!
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Question for next time: What's the last lofty goal you set for yourself? How did you overcome fears to achieve it?
Last month's question was: Are you a regular journal writer? What are your favorite benefits from keeping a journal? Here's what readers had to say:
Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk  -- Sounds like a wonderful trip, Nicki! I'm jealous.  As for journaling... I used to keep one, but have since transitioned to a blog. When I wrote in a journal, I felt a lot of pressure to write something every day, but with a blog, I feel a little more free and tend to write an entry or two a week, whenever a topic strikes my fancy.
I love blogging too! The format is definitely perfect for journaling and self-refelection, plus I love the interactive aspect to it.
blainecindy -- I keep a regular blog here on WDC. As a matter of fact, I started a blog ring called the Paper Doll Gang's Blog City | | | Invalid Item
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. If you're interested in joining, please check it out. Journaling is great because it helps me keep track of my personal history both here on WDC and at home. I've also begun to use journaling prompts which probes my thoughts and feelings about all sorts of different things, and I'm finding out things about myself I never knew. I highly recommend blogging for everyone! It can be very satisfying!
As a proud member of the PDG's Blog City, I highly recommend it to everyone!
Mara ♣ McBain  -- Interesting how vacation even relaxed your writing style. I admit to being completely obsessed with getting things right the first time ... the Mike Holmes of writers  ... My mind doesn't make allowances for "rough drafts" and I drive myself crazy poking along trying to get it just perfect. If not happy with a sentence I CAN'T move on. I'm stuck there tweaking and pulling my hair out until I can get it where I want it. I tried NANO two years ago and I think allowing myself to write and not stress was a bigger challenge than 1700 works a day. (Trust me ... my current style does not allow for 1700 words to be wrote after work, family, and dinner) I went back and read parts of if recently and it was really good. I too need to work on relaxing and letting the words flow. Writing is supposed to be fun after all! Great NL and I'm so glad you enjoyed your vacation! 
Yep, I'm the same kind of writer as you! Drive myself bonkers some days!
Karen  -- Wow! Featured in something besides poetry! THANK YOU.
It was my pleasure!!
BIG BAD WOLF is hopping  -- Oh I keep a Journal. Things just seem to repeat though.
Maybe try giving yourself journaling exercises. Some I like involve simple lists: Start with today's date, and write as complete a list as you can of all your favorite foods at this moment in your life. Or, list all the places you've lived. Or list the movies that most touched your life.
teana -- I write in my journal everyday; I write about my day, what I have done at work, or if anything funny or exciting that happened during my day and sometimes I write about my frustrations with either a project I am working on, or with someone personally.
Me too, and I gain so much clarity about my life and my feelings when I do. It's magical!
Sssssh! I'm not really here.  -- Ahh, vacations--nothing like 'em!  I'm so happy you had a wonderful, almost magical time
A l'Italia!
I do keep my handy WdC, journal with me. When an idea strikes me, I'm ready to write. It is without abandon, as you say in the newsletter. Later, I can fuss over the scrawl and let the words flow in a coherent way
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The journal is especially helpful for the Comedy Newsletter. I inevitably get involved in something humorous on my travels. With journaling, you always have material!
Great Newsletter, O'GR8 sister of my very first Rising Star.  Was Noelle on the trip, also? Lucky, LUCKY!
~WW
Your newsletters are some of my favorites! Your personal anecdotes crack me up!!
plainsue -- Nice Newsletter! What do I like to journal? Everything. Writing. Poetry. Glue or tape articles to it, quotes, inspirations, helpful hints, pictures or images for wandering thoughts, etc. Thanks for listening and reading. plainsue
Yes!! Combining scrapbooking and journaling techniques are some of my favorite ways to keep a journal. And, they're so much fun to read through, years later. Time capsule in book form!
Swilltastic  -- I kept a journal regularly from 2000 to 2006. I went through a tough time in my life... now I am recuperating and I'm learning to journal all over again and this time I know I wont stop. Great newsletter!
Best of luck to your during your recuperation. When life gets hard, journaling is often something I stop doing too, even though the self-expression usually helps. Hope you enjoy going back to the practice now!
sawilson -- Question For Next Month " Do You Journal?":
I do journal, but not like others. I journal when I hear a great quote or if there is something unique or different that I want to write down so that I can reflect/remember it later. I don't keep a journal to express my daily, weekly, or monthly feelings. I want my journal to be unique and creative, so it sparks my creative mind when I am experiencing writer's block or a massive brain cramp.
What a treasure trove of story ideas you must have in the pages of your journals! Thanks for sharing!!
See you all back here on November 2nd.
Until then, have a great month!
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Drama: October 05, 2011 Issue [#4647]
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