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This week: Count On v/s. Take For GrantedEdited by: Thankful Sonali-6 Years on WDC
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These are some thoughts I have had during my recovery from emergency eye surgery. I am overwhelmed at the number of people who came forward to help - and I learnt a lot about my own expectations.
On April 11, I underwent surgery for detachment of retina and cataract in the right eye. After that, I had to lie flat, face down, for hours each day, to enhance the recovery process.
I am absolutely overwhelmed at the number of people I could count on for help. There were less than 24 hours between my check up and the surgery, and, in that time, my uncle flew in from another city and my neighbours arranged a room for him to stay in. People drove me to hospital, sat with my Dad while I was being operated on, brought me food when I returned home, brought audio books and music to lighten the hours of lying down, accompanied me on Doctor visits and helped Dad understand medication schedules, and have ALWAYS been available to talk to - on phone or e-chat. My family Doctor came over home to visit, people whom I had to write for professionally waited till I was ready to write again to get their 'copy', folks with whom I was supposed to do a summer camp rearranged their time-tables to cover for me. Friends asked for prayers, and so many people - including those who have never met me - prayed for me.
My Dad, especially, has been a pillar of strength - from doing extra loads in the washing machine to following complicated schedules of eye drops and pills; from putting up with late night wakings-up to the occasional snappiness.
Everyone reassures me that I can count on them - and I know that I can.
But sometimes, I think I have crossed the line a bit. I have taken people - especially Dad - for granted. I'm trying not to, but I know I have. Like before lying down, I need to remember everything I need around me, so that I don't disturb Dad to fetch and carry for me. Sometimes, I don't think it through enough, and I do ask him for stuff.
Or friends, whom I call during their lunch-breaks at work, just to chat. I think I should let them enjoy lunching in peace!
Or my aunt, who wakes up early - I sometimes call her first thing in the morning, with my little grumbles, knowing she'll be awake and willing to listen to me! I shouldn't start her day on that sort of note!
I know all relationships are about give-and-take, and lately I've been doing a lot of 'taking', because I've had to - but I need to stop 'taking for granted'! If nothing else, it'll make me feel better to be a little more self reliant when I do more stuff for myself, or cope with more on my own!
Thanks for listening!
PS - Added on June 16: I was chatting with ~ 6 wonderful years ~ about my eye surgery. She told me about her son. He turned six yesterday. I had to say a little bit about him here, and am doing so with her gracious permission. The chat with her is a blessing for me - has put my problems in perspective.
From ~ 6 wonderful years ~ : My son has a lazy eye...it's near blind...he has glasses...eye patch and a red thingy on his face that he has to wear for a month...it's very sad looking..and kids make fun of him, but the doctor said that if we don't get that eye to wake up...he may be blind by the age of 7. Just last year he got hearing aids...his poor teeth are cracking and breaking and one is growing in very crooked..and now the eyes....it's been real hell for him.
It's all a part of life...the family that faces problems together and stays strong, is what makes it more positive than negative...I know my kids grow together as they should, and they protect each other also...I'm just trying to be strong for everyone..smile and keep going, because I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and things do get better in time!
I didn't know this before, though Natasha and I have been friends on Writing Dot Com for more than four years now. She is always cheerful and upbeat, and I admire her! My hat is off to you, lady!
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