The Host Model of Earth is a philosophical treatment of that ageless question of Life, the Universe and Everything. I begin with the observation that the continents of Planet Earth are not randomly drawn topographical figures. On the contrary I believe that the continents represent the figure of a planetary being. I compare this figure with the gross anatomy of a nominally representative animal, and infer the existence of a continuation of representational structures which proceed from one end of the dimensional scale of existence to the other. Having established the relativity of appearances I tackle the tricky question of the significance of the shape of Italy in a system of carefully measured continental figures.