Bipolar Disorder Personal Essays
Having been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, some urges to write come to me while "under the influence" of my own biochemicals. Sometimes I'm up. Sometimes I'm down. If you read much of my poetry, you may think I'm always down.
Can you tell when my moods shift? I never looked in my journaling for that in particular, but I imagine it manifests in some of my writing. My mood, or present attitude or personality perhaps, is out of my control, but I'm generally good about taking my meds. Mood shifts, my emotional vitality and viability, is not under my control. Life happens anyhow. I live the best situation I can manage. I'm usually open to considering advantageous adjustments--just first, please, give me some time to calm down, and quit panting and palpitating like a wild animal in a "fright or flight" involuntary response. When your body is primed for springing into action, it's difficult to refrain.
I was diagnosed as bipolar in my mid thirties, about 20 years ago. These writings come from experiences I've had, or self-debated about, and written about during those twenty years. What I share, I hope will ease fear and negativity associated with this mood disorder diagnosis.
I want to encourage every bipolar to seek the creative gift interwoven with your bipolar. No one can tell you where to find it, or what it is that will lead you to a better and unique perspective to share. Bipolars may climb through many emotional chasms and slip and slide the downhill emotional runs before discovering the passion of the gift inside themselves.- You may know what "it" is already, or it may be the search of you a bipolar lifetime.
Celebrate uniique creativity, wherever you may find it.