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Est. July 12, 2007
Thomas W. Helminski
Aren't the best things about Steely Dan the facts that: 1) their name comes from the name of an animated dildo in a William S. Burroughs Novel; 2) the way that you can adjust the balance on your stereo with one of their records; and, 3) how it's never really clear who or what's exactly going on within the stories being told in any of their songs? Apply that to writing and you'll begin to get an idea of my goals as a writer.

When I Was Comfortable Enough to Laugh  [18+]   18.8 KB
What lengths one man will go to in order to find a sense of humor.

Macho, Macho Mouse  [18+]   2.5 KB
What would three drunk mice talk to each other about?

Emily's Sister  [13+]   2.5 KB
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?

Why Are the Pretty Ones Always So Dumb?  [18+]   19.7 KB
The joke is never quite as funny when you have to explain it to her.

Parable of the Addicts  [18+]   6.7 KB
How six addicts would each go about overcoming a common obstacle.

"Clown Daze"  [18+]   0.1 KB
A Draft of a serial story concerning the adventures of Cleophus the clown and his cohorts.